Legacy
by Mileycfan4eva
Summary: Ever wonder why Robbie is so attached to Rex? Why Cat's so sheltered or Jade so Jaded Trina so self centered? Go back in time before they were students At Hollywood arts when they were kids dreaming of their future see the events that shaped who they are today. Follow them through a summer that will be like no other. See what Legacies, memories, dreams are made from.
1. Chapter 1

**Tori's p o v**

"_Let's go Ausums!_

_Let's go Empires!_

_Let's go Empires!_

_Let's go!_

The whole stadium was cheering and clapping as we stomped our feet as Brad Ausums number 22 stepped to the plate.

Horns sounded out as vendors walked up and down the aisles yelling out all their goodies they had for sell popcorn, soda, beer, cotton candy, pretzels.

My mouth watered at the sheer smells and sounds.

_Let's go Ausums!_

_Strike one!_

_Boo!_

Came the response from my best friend Gregory McConnell called out along with hundreds of other fans.

Greg was super hyper as he bounced up and down pumping his arms clapping his hands.

_Come on brad you can do better than this!_

Okay so Greg wasn't the only one super excited to be here at San Manuel Stadium. My dad was acting worse than a little kid on a sugar rush.

Jumping up and down throwing his hands up in the air yelling.

_Let's g-_

Before I could even get the O out of my mouth I heard the smack of the bat slamming against the ball.

The announcer came on the speakers again.

_Ausums delivers a hard hitting drive straight through the mid section_

_It's solid ..wait Johnson misses it _

The center fielder dives to catch it and misses with a head dive straight into the dirt.

All three players on the bases came home yipping and hollering high fiving the fans went wild,

_The Empires take the game 7-1 beating the Rancho Cucamonga Quakers_

My heart was racing as I jumped up and down screaming along with my dad and two best friends Greg and Alex Kardashian who were body hugging me.

_That was awesome Mr. Vega _

_Mr. Vega thank you so much _

Alex thanked my dad smiling brightly as she threw a baseball up in the air and caught it in her glove.

_Yes thank you Mr. Vega_ _so much fun!_

Greg joined in the thank yous as he motioned for Alex to throw the ball to him as we made our way up the aisle and into the crowded halls.

_Your welcome guys I'm glad you had fun today _

_Yes Sir we must definitely did _

_Yea Alex is right so cool I never got to attend a real baseball game before_

Greg's admission shocked me as I caught the ball and threw it to him moving a little wider to give us more room.

He was one of the most hardcore baseball fans I ever knew and he was amazing at the game.

_Well guys whenever you want to go again just let me know and I will be more than glad to take you three_

_Yes! Seriously?_

_Of course Greg_

_Sweet thanks Mr. Vega_

_Your a great dad Sir_

_Why yes I am Greg thank you_

He winked as I gaged please Greg could you suck up any more?

_Maybe you should remind my little rag a muffins of this_

_Hey I am not a rag!_

In a typical way of any 13 year old I pouted crossing my arms.

_Oh muffins don't mention food I am starving!_

_Starving Alex you ate two hot dogs nachos a pretzel and a funnel cake!_

_I know but that was hours ago Sir I am a growing girl I need my protein and fuel_

_How else will I become the first woman in the baseball hall of fame?_

_Dude girls don't get into the baseball hall of fame_

_Says who?_

_Say's the rules duh girls don't play baseball they lay softball_

_Well I'm gonna be the one that breaks that stupid rule wait and see boy_

_Oh I'll be waiting a long time for that one _

My mouth watered at the thought of all that delicious food my friends so easily took for granted since they could eat it whenever they wanted to.

_Will order room service when we get back to the hotel okay Alex?_

She nodded eagerly as we tossed the ball back and forth getting out of the stadium heading to the car.

Alex and Greg sat in the back as I slide next to my dad in his truck slipping his arm around before starting it up he whispered to me.

_Are you okay?_

Smiling I nodded no matter how tired or sweaty I was knowing I would pay for this tomorrow there was no denying I had fun tonight.

Back at the hotel after we showered and changed into our swimming suits we swam while we waited for the food.

Pork chops, Cheeseburgers, lasagna, mashed potatoes, fried chicken French fries and tom soup, mac and cheese.

_This is so amazing oh my god Tori you have no idea what you are missing!_

I stared at my late of grilled chicken and yucky broccoli, did they think I chose this? Do they think I don't want to dive into all that amazing food?

Don't they think I would give anything at all to have what they were having like I wanted to be different?

Suddenly the days events seemed to take over me and I felt tired and weak slipping out of the room and into my bedroom.

_You okay kiddo?_

_Yea just tired dad_

_Well good night than my little slugger_

_Night daddy love ya_

_Love you to get your rest darling you have a big day ahead tomorrow_

_I know I can't wait Trina and I will have so much fun!_

_Yay!_

We hugged as I closed the door. Not before I saw his smile tighten though what was that about?

Didn't he think Trina was as excited as I was? How could she not be? There was two whole glorious months laying before us of no parents, no rules, sun, games, meeting kids our own ages.

Laying down I fell into a deep sleep dreaming I was all grown up and I was on the USA woman's softball team.

I could run and jump I could throw 90 miles per hour I was one of the most valuable RBI hitters in the country and agents sought after me.

Life was amazing …

Only it was all in my dreams maybe someday my dreams would catch up to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trina**

_Uh why me mom?_

_Trina we have been over this a thousand times already_

_I still don't get it mom!_

Mom's sigh of annoyance told me she was sick of talking about this but truthfully I didn't care if I was pushing her limits or patience.

_Why am I being punished?_

_Trina it's not a punishment _

_Than what do you call it?_

_Trina I am sick of arguing about this_

_After everything you put this family through this year_

_You need some compassion judgment and common sense_

_If you had any of those things than maybe you wouldn't be here_

_You need some responsibility_

I gasped seriously was my own mom saying these horrible things to me?

_Let's go Trina we do not want to be late _

Correction Mother you do not want to be late. I could give two flying monkeys either way. Kicking at some stones as she marched away up the hill. I stood at the bottom groaning huffing and seething.

Who was she trying to control me since when did being a parent give her the right to tell me what to do when she thought it should be done?

I am my own person when would see get that?

_Now Trina!_

_Uh who cares?_

_You should it's part of being a young lady honoring your commitments and standing by what you said you would do. _

_I never said I would do this I'm being forced into this!_

_You got yourself into this so stop whining and move your feet let's go! _

I muttered as I climbed up the huge hill why didn't she just drive up there? Uh it would be so much easier!

_Trina_

_What now mom geese I'm coming _

_Well come a little faster this place is massive and beautiful!_

_Uh too much walking_

_No one told you to wear sandles_

_uh stop picking on me_

Mom rolled her eyes as she pushed me forward.

_Trina try to be a little more excited Tori is thrilled and it would be nice if you could share that with her_

_She doesn't need any more negativity _

_Tori Tori Tori it's always Tori _

_Mom seriously she's thirteen she still gets excited about school_

_What's your point Tori?_

_She's a mere child mother I am a young adult _

_I am more mature than her_

_No Trina your not cause if you were we wouldn't be in this place_

_Let me tell you a few things miss mature thing_

_#1 You are not an adult you are a child_

_Your my child I love you and I want you to grow up to be a contributing hard working positive young lady that does good for society._

_#2 Maturity comes with being held accountable for your actions_

_#3 Until you can face the cold hard facts be honest with yourself you'll never be able to be to be honest with the rest of us and if you can't be honest you can't be held accountable._

_So unless you can say you mastered all three you are not a mature young lady your just a lying scheming little brat with no regard for anyone else._

Mom marched up the steps leaving me shell shocked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Trina**

"_This place is outstanding I can't even imagine what it cost to build!_

_This seems like a resort not a camp for sick kids_

Was this seriously suppose to be impressive cause it wasn't not after a 45 minute drive from Los Angeles to the San Bernardino mountains.

All we did was argue constantly we fought so much that we almost missed the turn advertising the direction to take for Camp No Illusions. She was going too fast and nearly caused an accident as she tried to turn from Miracle Lane to Hope Road.

Not that any of that was a surprise we had been arguing for the last five weeks ever since Tori got that check for $2,599 and the letter inviting us here.

_What am I doing here?_

_Trina enough _

Mom marched right across the lobby which I took a minute to take in I wouldn't admit it out loud to her but dang this place was marvelous.

The lobby was beautiful smelling fresh and new every piece glittered and shone a vaulted beam ceiling soared upward the floors gleaming a rich cherry oak hardwood floor. The beam went straight up holding the floor to ceiling pentagon windows.

Against the wall was a huge stone &amp; brick fireplace holding a huge life sized picture.

I gasped seeing their real life imagines before me it was so close I could almost touch. Swallow Trina swallow and breathe, keep it together.

I would give anything to meet them.

_Sweetheart I know their name is on the camp but don't get your hopes up celebrities like them only add their name to make themselves look good it's rare they show up or care about the real charity._

She was just trying to get me to go off again but it wouldn't work. I was going to remain calm a few more hours and she would be gone.

Mom was talking to the receptionist as I stared at their pictures I felt like I knew them I mean I studied everything about them for so long.

Aisling Kiana Hayes she's 17, Liam O'Donnell he's 17, Beacon Cormac Hayes 18, Rylee Brennan 16 and Rian McCrae 16.

_Trina this is Dillon he's going to show us around_

I turned Dillon was kind of gorgeous with his long steady legs his black skinny jeans showing off his 5'9 frame a green polo shirt spiky gelled black hair and gorgeous gorgeous green eyes.

_Well he'llo _

I extended my hand to shake I could be nice when I wanted to.

_Welcome to No Illusions aka Nill Trina we are so glad to have you_

_I still don't understand why I am here?_

_Were all here for our own reasons Trina but what you will be doing here while you stay _

_Is being a mentor and big sister for three young ladies who desperately need a friend or sister to talk to._

_You'll learn more about that tonight at the meeting for now lets get the tour._

Outside we saw the stables, soccer field, basketball, tennis courts, swimming pool track mountain trails which went straight into the beautiful picture moment.

_Now of course what makes Nill so extraordinary is our state of the art dance studio's Recording studios and Production studio's for TV, Film._

He was right they were massive and shiny and looked amazing he let us walk inside the building there were a few other kids there exploring with their families some being shown around by personal.

_Each building has twenty classrooms in them five for acting two for production five for dance four for music and four for practicing. _

I was so excited as I looked around I could see myself practicing here my legs stretched up on the barre as I practiced my piles and demi's.

_Pretty spectacular isn't it?_

I looked to my right and saw a girl about my age smiling at me she was shorter than me about two to three inches but here eyes sparkled brightly her short neck length hair was a mixture of blond, blue green, and purples but instead of looking comical it was brilliant.

_Yes it is I can't wait to start practicing here_

_I can't wait to start teaching I hope my partner is cool_

_Do you know who your partner is yet?_

_Yea a girl named Trina_

_I'm Trina_

She giggled extending her hand.

_Nice to meet you I'm Montana Morgan will be together for our dance classes from what I read_

_Yes seems that way nice to meet you how long have you been dancing?_

_Since I was born my mom owns a studio in La it's been my dream to own it when I get older after I take the hip hop world by storm of course._

_Well of course what else can you expect from us Cali girls I'm from Hollywood Hills_

_Nothing cause we do it big or we don't do it Beverly Hills is my home_

_Trina let's go_

_Uh moms _

I rolled my eyes she giggled.

_Well I'll see you tonight than Trina nice to meet you partner_

_Yes it was see you tonight _

The baseball field was our last stop on the way back mom's eyes filled up.

_Tori will love this Trina_

_She's my youngest she'll be joining us tomorrow_

_She plays I am assuming?_

_Yes when she is well enough her dream is to be a professional ball player_

_Well with hard work plenty of practice and luck she will succeed_

Mom stayed silent at his statement and she says I am rude a simple yes or thanks would have been nice.

Once the outside was done we saw inside a clinicfully staffed getting ready for tomorrow cafeteria, gym, in door pool a huge game room filled with video games arcade games board games you name it they had it.

He showed us where elevators were located than took us upstairs.

_This will be your room Miss. Trina _

We entered room 38 C which was huge my eyes widened two full sized beds on each side covered in a soft fluffy white and green comforters. The walls were a soft blue/ green a huge plasma 32 inch TV sat on the wall in the corner high above the room.

A blue ray dvd player and a CD player were in the corner below it on an entertainment stand.

Hard wood cherry floors were polished but were covered with little colorful throw rugs through out the room.

Mom's gasp made me freeze I felt her touch my shoulder your mad Trina don't let her see you react in a way she would take it as you agree.

_So beautiful Dillon_

_Isn't it lovely Trina?_

_Uh it's alright mother_

I flopped down on the bed picking up the remote for the TV.

_A staffer will bring up your luggage as soon as possible I suggest you rest or walk around until the meeting tonight._

_What happens if someone gets sick?_

_We have a full time staff Mrs. Vega of four doctors two on the weekdays Dr. Jogia and Dr. Gillies two on weekends Dr. Justice and Dr. Grande two full time nurses Mrs. Benson and Mr. Halter._

_A psychologist Mr. Alexander Lane and a whole bunch of support workers plus No Illusions _

_Oh you mean they make an appearance every so often how nice of them I guess you'll get a possibility of meeting them as they dart in and out._

_No Ma'am I mean they live here the same as every one of us they have rooms on the fourth floor they are very active in every aspect of the camp's daily functions they help cook meals plan activities they participate in games and teach classes as well as lead groups. _

_Of course every so often they will have to duck out for meetings but 98% of the time they will be her_e

I jumped up and down screaming as my mom stood there in shock.

_So I will get to meet them?_

_Yes dear you will_

_Trina that's not what this is about_

Maybe not for you mother but for me this was everything!


	4. Chapter 4

**Milan's p o v**

"_Oh My god look how beautiful these mountains are!_

The look of astonishment and wonder on my little sisters face was all the thank you I needed.

Cat's eyes were wide as she turned and twisted throughout the back seat of the car looking out through the windows as dad drove through the town of Wrightwood which runs in the San Bernardino Mountains.

_Daddy aren't they beautiful?_

Cat giggled excitedly.

_Yes kitten their magnificent _

_Trivia question for you princesses _

_Yay I love trivia!_

_You love everything Cat_

_Do not Jade I hate cruelty, pain, scary movies_

_What's the question dad?_

_Do you know __what __the highest point of the mountains is?_

_No daddy what is it?_

_Milan?_

_No I don't dad_

_It's called the San Gorgonio Mountains_

_Cool_

_I wonder if will get to see it?_

_Maybe kitten the website says they go on hikes all over the mountains_

_Of course if your feeling unwell kitten_

_Mom relax I'll be fine_

_I can't believe __you got me on the list Milan this money will help us so much_

_Thank you _

_Your welcome Cat_

I smiled as she reached up hugging me her tiny thin arms locked around my neck as I inhaled her sweet scent.

_Cat sweetie I know you are excited_

_Oh mommy I am I am I really am!_

_I'm going to have so much fun this summer!_

She yelped clapping and giggling. I could feel my own heart swell with happiness seeing the look of pleasure and anticipation on my sweet little sisters face.

Her gorgeous hazel eyes lite up like a Christmas time fire like two hazel nuts roasting. Her shoulders length light brown hair which she had just highlighted with blond streaks fell on her right shoulder.

Which was pinned with a butterfly clip.

_I'm sure you and Jade will both have fun this summer darling_

_Plus make loads new friends_

Mom's words mad me look towards Cat's best friend.

They couldn't be more different if they tried to be Catrina Siena Valentine stands about 4'11 she weighs only 82 pounds her lovely skin is like the color of peaches. Her smile is so bright it lights up a whole house.

She's a bundle of high energy and cheerful spirits she's larger than life sometimes which amazes me how she gets so much energy when she spends every minute just fighting to get her breath.

Jade is the total opposite even sitting down in her seat strapped down Cat's body could barely be contained she twisted and turned every way to get a view.

Jade August West sat next to her arms crossed head laying down against the back of the seat her eyes slit with anger and dull of energy.

She didn't flinch when mom said her name which made my mom sigh with worry she was trying so hard to get Jade to respond this whole trip but she remained almost comatose. Even Cat's cheer didn't get a rise out of her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Trina's p o v**

Laying on my bed after my mom left to go meet dad and the little brat at the hotel. I tried to find some peace with the fact that I was stuck here all summer.

Not easy I was pissed they didn't give a damn about my happiness if they did they wouldn't be trying to tear us apart.

Jordan Gabriel is my boyfriend he's so sexy I mean I could just stare at him for days and never get bored.

Those gorgeous green eyes huge biceps I missed seeing his smile feeling his touch. I missed his smell the way he curled the T in my name making it sound exotic and fancy.

Grabbing his picture I stared at him smiling sitting up I sighed maybe writing to him would help.

Reaching into my laptop I turned it on his smiling face filled my screen the picture was from last week when I last saw him our arms were linked together and our faces were bent to each other.

_Dear Sexy Beast _

_Hey babe I miss you I needed to write to you Mother made good on her threat to send me away she sent me to some stupid camp high in the mountains._

_I hate it!_

_There's nothing around here no malls no shopping of any kind just nature and dirt eh._

_I miss being held by you touched by you I miss sharing secrets and milk shakes after school I miss our talks._

_I miss making music with you I miss laughing I never laugh with my family it's always them yelling at me being disappointed in me._

_You are the only one who believed in me loved me for me. I swear I will find a way for us to be together._

_I miss you I love you write to me please I can't wait to see you soon._

_Love Trina_

I printed out the letter sealed it and wrote his address on it licking the seal getting up since I was restless now I couldn't wait to get a response.

Unpacking might as well be comfortable since I was stuck here.

_Hey Trina _

I looked up to see Dillon standing there dang he was good looking.

_I know this isn't your idea of fun_

I swallowed I never said it out loud how did he know? Coming inside he smiled standing by me I was against the window looking out it really was a great view,

_I have worked with kids like you for six years I was a kid like you once_

_You don't look older than 15 Dillon_

_Why thanks I'm 17 in fact but when I was 12 man I was one angry young man. I was hurt and I was scared so I took it out on everyone around me._

_I'm not scared Dillon why would I be I'm not sick and I never will be_

_Pretty bold statement Trina I mean how can you predict the future?_

_No one can say what will happen except god and your a little too hot to be god_

A blush crept up my checks was he flirting? I mean he was hell a cute.

_Sorry that was out of line _

_No worries I've had way worse and beside I won't be here long enough to be offended_

_Going somewhere?_

_Yea as soon as I can I'm blowing this chiz _

_Good luck with that Aisling runs a pretty tight ship _

Rolling my eyes I almost laughed he had no idea how amazing I was at sneaking out Jordan and had become experts at this in the last two years.

Still I didn't want to cause any trouble for now.

_I hope you change your mind when you meet the kids they need you and I think you need them_

_Doubtful but let's go to the meeting sooner it gets over with sooner I can go to bed_

_Not the response I'd like but it will do for now_

Dillon tossed his arm over my shoulders and walked me out,

Yawning I stretched out riding the elevator I wondered if I would meet anybody worth spending any time with.

The room where we had the meeting was a conference room the tables were pushed against the wall music was blasting and the room was pretty filled already with teens taking selfies dancing eating talking and laughing.

_Pretty lame way to spend a summer huh?_

I almost jumped out of my skin as a girls voice startled me glancing over at her I felt envious she was pretty good looking black hair to her mid shoulders she was around 5'9 with rich skin deep chocolate eyes and a sexy Italian accent. Wearing tight jean shorts which were a dark green and a white halter top

her hat was a Yankees cap turned sideways.

_Kicking it old school_

_Huh_

_Straight up _

We laughed grabbing a chip I bit down the saltiness hit me and calmed my nerves I love salt, sipping her coke she smiled at me.

_Yea not my idea of fun that's for sure_

She extended her hand.

_I'm Erica Savona Scordato _

_Beautiful name I'm Trina_

_Want to escape for a few minutes?_

_Yea sounds good can we?_

_Easy as heck watch me_

_No way I'm going with you_

Sneaking out was easier than I thought no one was watching we simply walked out exited through a back door and ran into the woods the path was lined with gleaming stones.

We didn't talk not wanting to alert attention once we were inside the woods she brought out her cig and lite it up

Offering me one I hesitated I could hear Dad's voice echoing inside my head.

_Only bad girls smoke Trina it's dangerous it's stupid_

_Smoking is disgusting no guy respects a girl who cares that little of her healthy appearance and dignity_

_Smoking causes cancer and emphysema _

Rolling my eyes I figured he was just being a typical dad worrying and giving orders.

Erica was smoking and she was perfectly healthy she was glowing looking so dignified and beautiful.

_It's cool Trina it won't hurt you_

_I do it all the time_

She laughed I didn't want to look weak and it was only one.

Cough cough uh my lungs felt like a black cloud had descended on them and was chocking them the taste was pure nasty. I could feel color creeping in my face.

Throwing the cig out I coughed struggling to breathe she kept laughing.

My whole body was racked with anger.

_Sorry Trina I'm not laughing at you just your face is hysterical_

_I thought you smoked before at least once_

_I am sorry I know it's rude to laugh my family says I have issues with speaking before I think_

_Funny Erica mine says that about me as well_

We both laughed high fiving.

She brought out a bottle and passed it to me we both took a sip the liquid was warm and burned but tasted great.

_What is this Erica?_

_It's Absolut cherry kran _

_Vodka?_

I almost chocked she smiled leaning back nodding felt a little fear fill if we got caught we would be in so much trouble.

Passing the bottle back and forth we kept drinking and taking drags smoking got easier but it was still nasty.

_I'm rude lazy and a bad kid_

_That's why they sent me to live with my aunt this year so I could shape up under her rules_

_Screw them I'm not sick I don't belong here_

_Where you sent far away?_

_Yea you could say that from La to Seattle _

_La really I'm from out here what part?_

_Crenshaw heights _

_Oh cool I'm from Hollywood Hills _

_Nice so how did you get sent here?_

_My parents don't like my boyfriend_

_Seriously?_

_Yea for real I feel you _

_Are you sick Trina?_

_In the head according to them_

We laughed she moved closer to me laying her head on my shoulder.

_I told ya stick with me will have fun this summer_


	6. Chapter 6

**Trina's p o v**

"_Trina Vega_

The voice of a young man probably about 17 or 18 came into view

He was pretty cute all I would estimate around 5'9 lanky yet built up his eyes were light brown and seemed to dance with excitement.

I could tell he was like me and took pride in his appearance dressed in tight purple jean shorts his strong long legs made quick work of covering the distance between the doorway and my bed clear across the room by the window.

His chest was protruded out looking amazing in his pink tank top and Grey vest holding out my hand he took it kissing it grinning.

His hair was brilliant neon pink in an almost Mohawk style still he had some that flopped down over his right forehead.

"_Hello I'm Milan Christine Valentine _

In a flash he was embracing me tightly dang he was personal. Maybe this was normal for some people but my family isn't big on emotions or hugging.

Startled by his boldness I moved back a little he must of sensed my apprehension cause he was quick with the apologies.

Running his hand through his hair the words spilled out.

_Sorry Sorry I forgot my manners_

_I'm just so excited to spend the summer here!_

_Okay great_

_I am a girls counselor though so what do we have in common?_

_Yes I know you are_

_Mom Dad! I found the room and it's fabulous!_

What the heck was happening? Wait were the rooms mixed? Maybe I should of read that info they gave us.

_Good job Son_

_Now calm down or your sister will get excited she has to stay calm_

_Cat! Jade! Come in!_

Milan's voice is so animated with excitement why did he look so familiar? Who were these names he was calling to? Yea maybe reading that info would have been a good idea oh well I didn't so now I just had to play along.

_Cat! Cat!_

_I'm coming Milan_

The most adorable voice and the cutest giggle rang out in the hall as this tiny rail thing came bouncing in clutching a purple unicorn.

Her long light brown hair which had blond highlights in it was pulled up high into a ponytail. She moved slow every step seemed to be a constant struggle.

Yet like Milan her steps seemed to have excitement in them she tried to hide her pain your eyes couldn't stay off of her she captured you.

Milan spun her as she leaped into his arms than she was on me grabbing me laughing as she hugged me.

_HI! I'm Cat Valentine!_

_Hi Cat nice to meet you I'm Trina _

_I know they told me downstairs and I am so happy we are going to be great friends!_

_They said I had one of the toughest funniest girls for a leader but they forgot to say one of the prettiest!_

My face filled with color this girl was so charming so sweet so naïve her long eyelashes batted as she giggled twirling in place.

I started to feel bad for dreading this I mean she was so precious maybe this would be a peaceful summer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Trina's p o v**

_Jade! Come in here_

Cat called out who was Jade? Please don't let her be as hyper as these two.

_Cat darling chill Jade and Mom are down stairs talking to some boy who says he's the vice president_

_Rian!_

Both Milan and I called out as we jumped up sighing.

_He's so dreamy_

Their dad just scratched his head smiling at his kids he seemed like a pretty chill guy unlike my dad who was all business all the time. Theirs was dressed in baggy blue jeans a dark blue Yankees t-shirt. His graying hair was slicked back.

He seemed quiet just watching us as his daughter moved around the room grabbing the bed next to mine closet to the bathroom. Opening her suitcase she started to unpack, looking at her clothes I could see they matched her personality.

Everything was brightly colored reminding me of Tori's outfits when she was like ten.

_Cat sweetie maybe you should take it easy _

_They have to have staff here who can help you unpack_

_No Daddy I can do it_

_Dad please you said you wouldn't fuss_

She drew out her breath in long slow words even this seemed to take a lot out of her, I could see her pale face was strained and flushing with sweat.

_I'm a big girl daddy I can do things on my own without help_

_Cat sweetie I know your a big girl but please you'll make yourself sick if you push yourself_

_Daddy I am already sick but I promise I know my limits_

She seemed frustrated her lips were formed in a thin straight line rushing over to her I volunteered to help with a closer look I could see her lips were slightly bluish.

_Thank you Trina_

Cat gave me an I am so sorry look as I grabbed a bunch of shirts helping her arrange them in her closet she was very neat and organized with everything.

Milan skipped back into the room crying out how wonderful this place was clapping he ran over and helped her unpack with me where did they get their energy from? Their dad seemed so reserved.

_Daddy where's Jadey when is she coming?_

_She'll be up as soon as her and mom are done talking just relax_

_Cat you look very tired Milan finish unpacking for her _

_Daddy stop!_

_I'm not tired I'm just anxious and excited _

_I just want to know where Jadey is_

_I want to see her _

_Cat settle down Milan go find Jade and mom_

_Yes sir_

He saluted smiling as he spun around in a pirouette just as two figures came into view.

_Don't bother Milan I'm right here unless your springing me from this hell_

A young looking girl who couldn't be more than ten was being helped into the room by an older version of Cat who was dressed in a stylish blazer of a burgundy color black jeans and a Grey dress shirt her short black hair was combed to her right side and shaved on her left.

Her eyes were huge and friendly looking but full of concern for the younger girl who's head was resting against their mother's chest. They looked like twins.

Deep brown eyes set in their intense looking face the younger girl had jet black hair down to her shoulders her bangs hanging to her right side.

_Jadelyn I know your upset and I understand your not feeling well_

_That does not give you a reason to be rude or use foul words_

Cat squealed running to Jade hugging her tighter.

_Cat get off of me _

_I was so worried are you okay Jade?_

_I'm fine Cat relax _

In truth she looked anything except fine she was pale and sweaty and shaky her breathing seemed rapid.

_Jade lay down _

_Cat which bed?_

_I want the one by the door Jade I hate sleeping in total darkness there's light there_

_Sweetie that's closet to the bathroom maybe Jade should_

Cat's face crumbled as she looked at Jade her eyes filled with tears great a cry baby.

_Oh lord Jade I didn't even stop to think I'm so sorry_

_I'm fine guys in fact I like the window I get hot sometimes so the open window will be awesome_

_Are you sure sweetie?_

Their mom was helping Jade out of her shirt dang she was super thin I could count every bone her skin was just hanging off her she had no meat there her collar bone jagged out.

Jade lifted her arms up as her mom slide off her shirt and pushed down her pants grabbing a pair of black shorts and a tank top.

Lifting the covers she helped her slide in.

_Why do I need to be here?_

_Please I just want to go home can't I stay with you and just let Cat stay here?_

_I hate it here!_

_Sweetie you just got here you have to give it time_

_No I don't I want to go home_

Their mom ran her hand over her daughters face I could see the strain on their mom's face having to leave her distraught child here when she didn't want to be here.

_Jadey it will be so much fun_

_We can hike swim we will learn so much for our music_

_Were attending camp with some of the biggest pop stars in the world_

_Were going to be taught by some of the best industry professionals _

_By the time we go home will be set to audition for Broadway again_

_We have amazing classes and teachers at home why can't I .._

Jade's face paled and she heaved jumping up shakily she ran to the bathroom. I could see the sweat dripping off of her.

Cat's eyes widened as they over flowed with tears their mom ran after Jade. Dad just stood there not knowing where to look as Milan looked crushed hugging his sister.

_Aw don't cry baby girl_

Yuck My sister's voice called out running over to this girl who she hadn't even meet yet.

_I'm Tori I'll help you this summer will have fun no need to be home sick_

Great this summer was going to be so fun I had a cry baby and one miserable pissed off puking girl and a Tori...


	8. Chapter 8

**Trina's p o v**

It took forever to get to get their parents out but finally I manged to I felt bad Cat was trying so hard to do everything by herself but she was struggling under her parents smothering.

Somehow Milan convinced them it was safe to go after hugs and kisses promising he would look out for them.

I must have been staring pretty strange at him cause once they left he turned to me shrugging giving me a hard look.

_Oh didn't you see it in your itinerary?_

_See what?_

_I'm one of the counselors I'll be with the teen boys in the F Housing_

_Oh sweet sorry I um didn't really look at all that I just read about the girls that's awesome_

_I'm sure your parents will be happy knowing your here if your sisters need you_

_Sisters?_

_Yea Cat and Jade_

_Oh sweetie you really didn't read the info at all did you?_

_Huh of course I did_

_Really?  
_

_Than tell me what does my sister have?_

Which sister? Was he kidding me? I was starting to sweat but why what could he do? So what I didn't read it I had time chiz I had all summer why was he being such a …

_Milan I need you down stairs man your campers are here_

_Coming Dillon_

He turned to me staring me in my eyes.

_Read your info or there will be a price to pay Cat darling if you or Jade need me you know where to find me._

_Yes I do but will be fine go have fun be the most awesome counselor those boys are lucky to have you_

They hugged and shared a kiss on their checks as he went over to Jade.

As happy as Cat was bouncing up and down squealing I saw Jade was just as angry her fists balled up as she lay in the bed pale and motionless sweaty.

Tori was happily unpacking as she tried to make conversations with Jade.

_Hi I'm Tori what's your name?_

Jade eyed her and rolled over so her back was now facing Tori who seemed stunned but didn't let it stop her.

Cat giggled and grabbed Tori's hand swinging it.

_Don't let her defeat you she gets cranky and tired after treatment_

_What kind of treatment?_

I was curious but had no clue how to ask without seeming dumb or rude but they seemed to be able to discuss this so easy.

_None of your business busy body_

Jade snapped

_Jadey be nice_

_Don't call me Jadey Catrina_

Cat giggled rolling her eyes despite Jade snapping at her she never stopped giggling or smiling. She replied anyway to Tori.

_Chemo_

Chemo what was that again? Why did it sound like I have heard of it before?

_Oh that's awful how long has she been in treatment?_

Tori seemed to know what Cat was talking about so I left them to it putting away Tori's luggage lord knows she'd never do it alone she's so spoiled she'd fit in perfect with these two they were use to getting what they want of course.

These kids had it easy hearing snippets of their conversation didn't provide me with much to go on.

_This time she's been undergoing treatment for two months_

I swear one day when Jordan and I had kids I would make them work for their stuff and know what responsibility was.

_Mellulloblastoma _

What the heck was that?

_Oh my god Tori I love your nails_

_Thanks Cat want me to do yours?_

_I have the polish _

_Yea my parents don't let me wear makeup _

_WHAT!_

I gasped out were her parents insane?

_Gee are your parents from the stone age?_

Cat's face flushed her eyes filled with tears seriously couldn't she take a joke? Tori's glare could of cut a hole through the floor beneath me.

Throwing her arms over Cat's shoulders she pulled her to herself.

_That's cause your parents see how gorgeous and adorable_

_You are inside and your inner beauty shines through so you glow without makeup_

Cat giggled is she bi polar she had to be. I heard Jade groan and felt paralyzed was she going to vomit again what would I do? Was I suppose to do something? I couldn't read the info now I would look so stupid.


	9. Chapter 9

**Trina's p o v**

The weather was brilliant as we walked from the sleeping corridors to the lake side.

Cat and Tori were chatting about how amazing Aisling is.

_She's a goddess! I love her I mean ever since I was a kid I adored her!_

Your still a kid Cat!

Tori's voice interjected.

_I want her money Cat if I had that kind of money I would be set for life_

_I mean can you just imagine what that kind of money would be able to do?_

_The girl is loaded a vantage coupe, plus her own jet ready on command she has a mansion in La a penthouse in NY a villa in London and Ireland._

Tori was chatting away I noticed how quite Cat had gotten and how distance her eyes were not unusual when Tori is around she never knows when to shut up!

Jade was trailing behind her strength seemed to be wavering but she was so prickly I wasn't going to get next to her.

The whole camp was alive now kids running around laughing and chasing each other I saw kids on crutches kids in wheelchairs, a few had canes leading them.

Music was playing loudly from the riverside beckoning us.

They had open trucks fully cushioned in the back for kids who couldn't or didn't want to walk, many counselors were leading their kids in songs as they walked I was not one of them. I mean I have an amazing voice but I was not happy about being here and I wouldn't pretend.

_Cat did you get their latest CD?_

_Of course Tori it's amazing!_

_Which song is your favorite?_

Tori was bouncing from one foot to the next clapping as she danced a little.

Cat seemed to ponder this before answering.

_I really like No Cure_

_O-h that's so catchy!_

I openly gasped as we came upon our destination the whole area was huge open fields with a stage kids had already claimed it one playing some riffs on her guitar one doing a slamming drum beat and three break dancing.

The crowd was getting warmed up logs, lawn chairs blankets were all scattered around on the ground for a good mile or two.

Kids were clustered in groups already some shyly Staying back some dancing some singing or playing instruments taking selfies talking some were laying on their blankets. One boy around eight was curled up in a ball sleeping.

Cat clapped excitedly her eyes growing wide as she happily cried out.

_Yay a camp fire!_

Taking out our blankets I spread them out with Cat's help Jade flopped down closing her eyes Cat crawled next to her taking her hand I could see how winded they both were.

_Cat dance with me!_

Tori cried out as she reached for her I searched the area was Erica around? Any cute boys? I saw her in the distance and waved she was with a blond girl around 11 who was strumming a guitar and a younger girl probably around 9 in a wheelchair.

She looked bored and pissed anxiously trying to find a way out prob so she could smoke. Running off to see her I figured the kids would be okay.

_Erica!_

She twirled around her eyes slit till she saw it was me than she brightened and ran to me hugging me looking around she grabbed me and we took off into the woods where she quickly lit one up and handed me her flask of gin.

A few sips was enough for me smiling I handed it back to her as she took a few puffs before smashing it.

_We can't be gone too long this place is crawling with security and higher ups_

_uh Trina I can't stand it I have a spas and a cripple_

_That sucks I have a frigging cry baby who cries over everything and a bitch who hates everyone and is puking her guts up she better not think I'm taking care of her either._

_Than I have a whiny smelly loser_

_Uh what did we do to deserve this I mean seriously these kids are freaks_

_I know right and were beautiful talented smart and awesome how did we get stuck with this?_

_I don't know but it reeks_

Someone's scream made us sit up suddenly as we saw everyone rushing to the farther side. Quickly we slipped into the crowd pretending to try and see what was going on not that I cared slightly.

_Who is she?_

_What happened?_

_What's her medical condition? _

_Where's her counselor?_

Dang being short I couldn't see anything Erica nodded to me as she slipped back to her two kids. I squeezed between bodies upon bodies.

Sweating and breathing heavy I got to the front just in time to see two medical staffers bent over a young looking girl one was a nurse who was barking orders out while checking the girl's vitals.

The sniffles of a girl caught my attention Tori I recognized her cries anywhere I should I heard them my whole life.

Where was she? Searching I started to panic not that I liked the kid but mom and dad would kill me and I would never see Jordan.

My eyes scanned over all the kids finally I saw her arms folded over her chest baseball hat turned to her left.

Pushing my way through I came face to face with the medical crisis and gasped seeing Cat laying crumbled on the ground.

_Cat!_

The nurse who was checking her vitals snapped her head up.

_You know this young lady?_

_I'm her counselor _

_What's her name? What's her medical condition?_

_Cat_

_Cat what?_

_I don't know_

_Your in charge of this young lady do you not know who your kids are?_

_Did you study your information?_

_These are basic things you need to know to be able to do your job!_

Everyone was staring at me as I felt my face flush I couldn't speak. I was frozen in fear what was wrong with Cat?

Her face was so blue and so pale she wasn't responding.

_Anybody know her name? Her condition?_

Jade spoke up her eyes glaring at me she was so exhausted herself she could barely stand her voice was weak shaky with fear.

_Her name is Cat Valentine_

_She fainted cause her heart got to stressed she was tired and she tried to rest and this idiot forced her to dance._

Jade's hands were on Tori's chest shoving her to the ground on instinct I was on Jade pulling her off as Tori yelped hitting the ground.

Grabbing her and restraining her was easy she was so weak she couldn't fight back two boys ran over and helped Tori up they looked like twins one had curl black hair and wired rimmed glasses, he was thin as a rail kind of geeky looking. Wearing suspenders and tan shorts with a blue pokeman shirt.

The other was buffer with his hair slicked back and no glasses. Dressed in jeans and a polo shirt with a denim vest.

The nurse gave me a nasty look as she listened to Cat's chest.

I was so relieved to hear Cat's moans as Jade shoved me off and dropped to her knees by Cat stroking her face she was afraid for her even though she was trying not to show it.

Shaking my head I pushed myself up feeling a hand on my shoulder when I looked over my shoulder I almost melted staring back at me were two of the most amazing hazel eyes I had ever seen attached to a gorgeous dimpled face.

_Your friend will be okay _

_Don't let the nurse scare you_

_She just takes her job very seriously her barks worse than her bite_

Cat's voice came out like music from the heavens soft as she sat up.

_I'm sorry to scare anyone it happens sometimes when I get stressed_

Helping me over to her I couldn't help but take him in he was tall 5'9 average weight with wavy brown hair past his ears his bangs hanging over his left eye. He was dressed in jean shorts and a tank top his muscles bulging out.

_You okay baby?_

_Yea thanks_

_Cool one fainting girl is enough I'm Freddie by the way_

_Nice to meet you I'm Trina_

That shrill voice called out again god give me strength not to murder her.

_These girls are your responsibility study your pear pad all the information you need is on them_

_It's not that damn hard! _

_I except a full report tomorrow or Aisling will hear about this!_

Damn she was scary licking my lips I turned to find Freddie but just as I was about to say thanks again I heard.

_Fredward lets go!_

In a flash he was gone and so was my chance of having any fun this summer.


	10. Chapter 10

**Trina**

The burning of my face flushed as I curled up on my blanket activity had returned to normal instruments all blended as kids laughed and danced.

Cat and Jade lay on their blanket half asleep curled up in each others arms. Tori was talking to the two boys who had helped her up.

Study study study uh I was so sick of studying! It was summer I was suppose to be done with this chiz.

Yet I had to if I didn't I knew that witch would squeal on me and I knew from all the articles and interviews I had read over the years, Aisling would not be happy she valued her reputation she put her heart and soul into this camp.

Taking out the pearpad they had giving us I loaded up the app they called Nillformation kind of clever Nill was short for No Illusions and formation was for information.

If anything happened to one of these kids it would be bad press for the group and I know how celebrities worked.

What was my username and password? Crap..wait I got it. Smiling as I typed it in I knew Tori would be pissed.

Username- Littlesisterssuck

Password- SmellyToriVega

The app loaded and my room number appeared I typed in my next password which was numbers.

1995

The next screen came up and three pictures appeared I clicked on Cat's and her profile came up she was a cute kid.

The picture looked like it was three years old she was grinning her checks rosy and full her eyes still that same sparkle her long hair was left down and piled down to her lower back she was sitting on a wall over looking the beach her hair blowing out. Her head resting on her left knee while her right was tucked under her butt she had a bikini on.

**Catrina Valentine Born June 26th 1998 **

**New York City **

My eyes watered as I learned why Cat was here and why she had passed out.

**Dilated Cardiomyopathy **

What the heck was that? I clicked on it and it brought me to an online medical dictionary for kids, my own heart squeezed reading it.

**Dilated Cardiomyopathy is a disease of the heart muscle, usually starting in your heart's main pumping chamber (left ventricle). The ventricle stretches and thins (dilates) and can't pump blood as well as a healthy heart can. The term "Cardiomyopathy" is a general term that refers to the abnormality of the heart muscle itself. **

It must be so hard not to be able to run and play to dance and jump whenever you wanted. Cat couldn't do any of these things cause it would over work her heart and she would pass out.

**Cat is on a drug cocktail to help improve the quality of her life which must be maintained on a strict daily schedule.**

**Beta blockers a beta blocker slows your heart rate, reduces blood pressure and prevents some of the harmful effects of stress hormones, substances produced by your body that can worsen heart failure and trigger abnormal heart rhythms.**

**Beta blockers may reduce signs and symptoms of heart failure and improve heart function. Side effects include dizziness and low blood pressure.**

****Diuretics.** Often called water pills, diuretics remove excess fluid and salt from your body. The drugs also decrease fluid in your lungs, so you can breathe more easily. **

**Cat must follow a Cardiac Diet which consists of No Fat Low Sodium and Low Cholesterol. **

I vowed I would show her an awesome summer.

**Jade West July 26th 1998**

**New York City**

**Mellublastoma **

Why did they both have such odd diseases? Sighing I looked it up again.

My stomach rose when I saw what Mellublastoma was.

The word jumped out and froze at me.

R

What Jade had Cancer? I felt shaky she was so young my eyes took in her picture she looked like a little kid with these deep intense eyes her lips tightly pressed together not one part of her face was smiling.

Her eyes were filled with such anger and pain it squeezed my heart.

**Diagnosed at age eight with standard risk Medulloblastoma. ****Mellublastoma** **is a cancerous tumor—also called cerebellar primitive neuroectodermal tumor (PNET)—that starts in the region of the brain at the base of the skull, called the posterior fossa. **

**These tumors tend to spread to other parts of the brain and to the spinal cord**

What's standard risk?

**Standard-risk tumor. The tumor is in the very back part of the brain and has not spread to other areas of the brain and spinal cord. Additionally, it is almost completely removed during surgery, meaning that less than 1.5 cubic centimeters (cm) of the tumor remains after surgery. However, the surgeon will usually prefer to remove all of the tumor if it can be completely removed without increasing the risk of severe side effects. **

**Jade has been in and out of the hospital since she was eight over 300 times having surgeries. Treatments, infections and many other challenges.**

**She went into remission at age ten only to relapse shortly after she turned Eleven.**

**This time she was categorized as High risk. **

I dreaded reading what high risk was but taking a deep breath I did.

**This type of tumor has either spread to other parts of the brain or the spine, or it has not spread but more than 1.5 cubic cm of tumor remains after surgery. Some tumors that first appear to be standard-risk tumors have high-risk molecular features and are treated as high-risk tumors **

**Jade's tumors have Metastatic meaning they have spread to other parts of her body including her spine and spinal cord.**

**She underwent a stem cell transplant at age 11 along with radiation and chemo for six months before she went into remission.**

**Three months later she relapsed with a high risk tumors found in her spine brain and spinal fluid.**

**Jade has undergone a surgical procedure called a craniotomy. ****Jade is currently undergoing Chemo three times a week bi-weekly.**

Shaking I buried my head into my lap what had I gotten into?


	11. Chapter 11

**Trina's p o v**

"_Are you ready to rock?_

My head spun as the entire camp erupted into cheers and screams.

Cat and Tori had already shoved their way up front but Jade lagged back seeming tired I wanted nothing more than to see this band live.

It would be so easy to leave her but she seemed so lost. Taking a deep breath I moved closer to her as kids were shoving to get closer almost knocking a few smaller ones over.

_Aren't you into them?_

She shrugged.

_Not really Cat's favorite group I prefer more hard metal and rock_

_Mind if I go forward?_

_It's a free country do whatever you want don't worry about me_

Awesome I grinned and started to shove my way forward but as I left I swore I heard her mutter.

_No one ever does_

There was no way to know for sure though cause the noise reached a deafening level.

A few girls started crying as the stage lights flashed fog rose and the No illusions dancers flew on the stage.

I could hear the opening cords of their latest hit came on it's a fast beat the crowd went wild.

Tori leaped up jumping screaming Cat wanted to with her whole heart but she just couldn't expand that kind of energy.

So I went over and tapped her shoulders the look in her eyes made me melt she wanted so bad to be screaming and jumping up with Tori and the two boys but she just couldn't. Turning to me she sighed I motioned for her to climb on my back she looked shocked but she wasted no time.

A few kids moved so we could get a better view she flashed them a 100 watt smile as I got to the front seeing so much better.

Rian was on the left playing guitar along with bassist Tyler Ryan 16, Liam was on keyboards along with Zach Connor 18, Beacon was on the drums and Rylee and Aisling on vocals, Aisling stood in the middle damn they looked flawless.

Moving closer slowly I could almost taste the excitement it was thick in the air.

Looking around you couldn't really tell this was a camp for sick kids it looked like every other camp holding an out door concert.

Kids holding up cell phones glow sticks singing and dancing laughing.

**Aisling**

_Sometimes courage comes in the smallest sizes_

_Don't underestimate me because I am not what you pictured me to be __I__ am more than a pretty face on your magazine covers_

_I know I'm going to be stereotyped because of who my family is __but I never thought you would be the one to turn on me._

_When did it all go wrong?_

_We use to be best friends you never cared about my name we use to run carefree and play till the dawn became dust._

_So tell me when did it all became about money and popularity?_

_When did putting down others down making them feel so small become who you are?_

_How does it make you feel big?_

_Is fitting in really so important you can sit by watching while someones else light dies?_

_**Rian**_

_When did equal rights die?_

_Won't somebody help me? When will these tears dry I'm only a kid but I have so much stre__s__s_

_I can't tell my parents they tell me I should be blessed I have no problems I'm just a spoiled kid_

_Man up and be a man son it's a part of growing up but I guess they just don't get it_

_T__hese names they tear at my soul they say sticks and stones can't break bones they don't understand_

_Sticks and stones leaves bruises that bleed and bleed_

_Is there an end to my suffering?_

**Rylee**

_Let it go deep breath you are the master of your own fate_

_Don't let someone control your happiness step back from the edge my friend_

_Bang Bang leave me alone_

_No darling you have to let me in my name is hope_

_I am your future mate_

_Remember to get the rewards you have to suffer through the hurt_

_There is no bittersweet without the bitter no glory without the pain_

_Keep your head up _

_I know how you feel _

_You are worth it you are a star_

_A beautiful rising blinding glorious light_

_Things get better _

_Life makes you stronger_

_But if you want me to keep going you have to let me in_

_No pleasure without the pain_

_First you have to do one thing for me_

_Repeat after me_

_I am somebody important I can love myself I will love myself harder_

_I am my biggest defender_

_I will show myself I am worth all I can be I am a star_

_If you can't figure it out I'll be okay cause I will love myself_

_I will go further and longer_

_I can't see the future but I can predict where I will be _

_I don't listen to No_

_The faster you tear me down the stronger I will rise_

_Oh I will not be your kicking stone no more_

_Telling me I won't be crossing billboards I won't be blasting from your stereos_

_Crazy how life rolls_

_Number __O__ne Ten times 123..No not 4.5..6_

_Tearing up this Mic ten times over _

_That's no illusions not living in fear no more_

_Courage gives me strength I will __R__ise up against Bullying_

_I will achieve all I can dream _

_If you believe in yourself repeat after me_

_I am somebody important _

_I can love myself _

_I can be anything I set in my mind I want to be_

_I am somebody important I can love myself I will love myself harder_

_I am my biggest defender_

_I will show myself I am worth all I can be I am a star_

_If you can't figure it out I'll be okay cause I will love myself_

_I will go further and longer_

_I will Rise U Against Bullying I will show the world my glorious light_

_Show them what's right_

_I know I know you don't like it _

_But that just shows you don't know me_

_Think you do but if you did you would never try to tear me down_

_Cause you would know I am stronger than your hate_

_I am somebody important I can love myself I will love myself harder_

_Than you hate_

_I am my biggest defender_

_I will show myself I am worth all I can be I am a star_

_If you can't figure it out I'll be okay cause I will love myself_

_I will go further and longer_

Cat was crying by the time the song was over even Jade seemed moved.

Aisling held up her Mic grinning as they all bowed once everyone had settled Aisling cleared her throat.

Watching everyone for a minute she smiled I mean she's a goddess this girl looked perfect after preforming under the humid summer night.

_Thank you thank you so much_

Her laughter was light and airy her Irish accent made me melt. She sounded so young now.

_To all of you who don't know me please call me Ali thank you to all of you for coming this summer_

_Welcome to No Illusions!_

_Because this is the first year of operations here in the usa I have asked some of my campers from my Camps in Ireland to help us out. _

_Lets give them a warm round of applause._

Six teens and four kids went up on the stage Ali hugged each of them chatting for a minute.

Than she handed the Mic to the oldest she was wearing tight black leggings that were splattered in tons of colors and a short sleeve blue shirt.

She was wearing a weave I knew it but she pulled it off.

_Hey ya'll I'm Kristen I'm from Country Clark and I have been a camper at No Illusions since I was eight I'm sixteen now._

_This is my second year as a counselor. _

_I'm here to help and guide any of you rather it's physical or mental or emotional _

_I have ALL but I have been in remission since I was fourteen thanks to my brother's bone marrow. I know about pain and fear but if you need me I am in room 310._

_I promise you this will be your best summer ever if you let it be._

_Now enough about me let's meet my friends._

We met Tyler who is 15 he has diabetes he is also a counselor.

Jordan is 13 he has M.D Nicole is ten and has ALL Keith is nine he has Cerebral Pasly. Derrick is 11 and has asthma and epilepsy.

Cat looked for Jade and turned to her pulling her towards us my shoulders sagged in gratitude as I let her down.

**So what are everyone's views on this so far? I promise it will get more exciting as it unfolds. Please feel free to leave an encouraging review here or tweet at mileycfan4eva hope everyone has a Happy Safe Holiday season.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Trina's p o v**

_Thank You everyone for giving them the time and attention. Every year at camp I have a tradition we call it our Fire Starter Kid._

_I've asked Kristen, Tyler, Derrick, Nicole, Keith here to help us start this years Tradition every year I pick a different kid to start the fire and at every years end I chose another kid to help end the session._

_This year based on videos that were sent to me from fans I have chosen Mr. Andre Harris so everybody please give him a round of sound._

A Younger looking boy came up holding his hands up grinning he was kind of cute even if he was my sisters age.

Standing about 5'2 around 108 lbs his hair was short and braided in dreads going just below his skull line.

He was dressed in jean shorts and a tank with a long sleeved skull and flower hoodie which was pretty thin as far as hoodies go.

He became very shy when he came face to face with Aisling not that I could blame him but she handled it well throwing her arms around him and smiling down at him.

_Andre care to tell us a little about yourself?_

She handed him the Mic he stood looking out at all of us and seemed to freeze turning to her he could only shrug.

She laughed shaking her head but not in a mocking way it was cute kind of sexy kissing the top of his head she didn't miss a beat.

_Looks like he's a little overwhelmed with being here among all you amazing boys and girls but I'll bet that once we get to singing he'll open up._

_Kristen care to lead us?_

_Well I would love to thanks Ali_

Rian came out holding Four long candles he gave the gold ones to Kristen and Ali he handed one of the darker red ones to Andre and kept the lighter red one.

Ali lite Rian's one 's singing softly to him.

_Today is when I pass the torch_

_Light the way my friend_

Rian lite Kristen who sung the verse to Andre who was shaking his eyes steady on her as his candle lite up in a brilliant red shade.

Andre walked down the steps first slow and steady his eyes staring at the candle. Rian and Kristen lite the candles of each of the kids on stage as I saw that candles were being passed down to each of us.

As Andre came down the steps he started to lite the candles of those closet to him. As each kid came down more candles were lite I also saw some of them had more than one candle and I wondered about that.

Slowly but steady each camper turned to another as well as counselors lighting each other's candles us older ones helped the younger ones.

Some where in a distance voices started to rise up I recognized Ali's, Rian's but the other one was younger he had a smooth style it must be Andre's.

Kylee and Liam were playing the guitar and keyboard as they wounded their way through the path.

_Love and Light _

_Words of wisdom_

_I hope to leave behind_

_It is my Legacy _

_Creating and forging my own hope in a world of darkness and pain_

_Fighting through the struggles for when I get older I can be the light_

_Warriors still battling_

_Remembering our fallen comrades_

_Forever young they may be but forever on our memories they will be our light_

_We light the way for our younger peers_

_Love and Light will be our freedom from chains_

_Words of wisdom wrap together in more than a ribbon we are the future_

_We can't be the cure but we will raise awareness we will not go silently_

Slowly our group wound the way through the field going to where the bonfire logs were piled high as I looked to the right I saw two firetrucks and a police cruiser on the far right. Nice to know they took precautions just in case.

_Don't call us heroes were not looking for medals_

_We just want our wings to spread awareness _

_Yay though I walk through the valley of death I fear no evil _

_For with me are my friends we fight beside each other_

_Give us thy divine peace no more pain_

_Put the suffering behind us trust in the master plan_

_Imagine a world of love laughter and light_

_The pain is just a memory of a war fought a long time ago_

_No more wars just peace and harmony hope has made her victory_

_Call us crazy dreamers but every difference starts with a dream this dream_

_Begins with me can we make it reality?_

_One candle at a time yes it hurts yes it's hard but it is not impossible_

We reached the logs Kristen turned to us all of them raised their candles Kristen yelled out.

_This dream is lite alive_

She looked at everyone by her all seemed at a loss of words than Andre yelled out.

_I will be Victorious!_

They tossed the candles high into the logs which I could smell the gasoline coming off of them.

Tyler threw his next than Nicole who helped Keith I saw he had two.

His little voice sung out.

_This is for you Ronan we had the best four years together I will not forget you_

_Little man on the big man baseball diamond I remember the smile on your face_

_Fly high spread your wings I will pass on the light and love_

_Words of Wisdom thank you for the memories for the friendships we made the laughs we shared_

_Diffuse Pointine Glioma Will not be the death of you_

_DIPG I will spread the awareness now dance away_

_Your family by your side you took your very last breath_

_Only Ten Years old a beautiful soul gone too soon I light this in your honor_

_I throw it high in the air in your memory I can hear you laugh right now_

_I see your face dancing in the flames I know you are telling me_

_Love and Light will lead the way_

Keith turned and helped Derrick who tossed in his smiling than tossed another one in a green one.

_They said the seizures were a part of life_

_We had to learn to deal no one ever warned us_

_They could take you from us_

_A simple swim a beautiful summer day bare feet laughing arms spread out wide _

_Catching that prized football I remember those green eyes_

_Laughing at me lagging behind being the big man_

_Even though I am two minutes older_

_You called out Come with me_

_I never got that chance I laughed thinking your splashing and thrashing was a big joke_

_Biggest joker in the world how was I to know that you were in trouble?_

_Where was my twin ability?_

_Momma and Daddy are broken hearted crying everyday for their baby_

_I need a sign Diamond give me a sign please_

The minute his candle hit the flames they seemed to shot up kids screamed jumping back but the flames shot straight up and I swear the clouds opened up and a few rain drops fell than we saw the biggest rainbow ever appear right over the fire.

It was amazing and yes their stories told through music were sad and heartbreaking but tears really? All around me kids were crying even counselors. Maybe it's cause I didn't know any of them and didn't want to but I felt nothing.

Kristen tossed her second one in.

_I miss you everyday Erick Shane Nelson _

_I miss your smile you showed me god's love_

_I will always hold your hand in my heart just like the day I held your hand when you passed away_

_Going from this world into god's loving arms_

_Your love your light will be the legacy of our dear lord Jesus I know he's proud_

_He raised you from the little eight year old boy I met running across the room_

_To the warrior and man you became at sixteen._

_Go be at peace I am strong I am leading the way_

She tossed in another damn did everyone around this chick just die?

I was definitely staying away from her.

_Kassia raise your arms in victory for your light shines on_

_All you dreamed about is coming true smile because it's true_

_Your story has touched millions around the globe it's gone viral_

_Time is an Illusion is now a smash hit song dedicated to you by _

_No Illusions_

I swear I saw Ali gasp and blush ducking behind Rian who chuckled she had no clue that was coming.

_Kassia never lost that smile that twinkle of hope_

_I will carry on in your legacy Love and Light be our path_

_God bless you god keep you I will remember you_

Everyone's voices rose as we sang the chorus of their song Time Is An Illusions.

_Let our light sing to you_

_Let our voices raise as one_

_Let this message become clear to you_

_We will not be held down _

_We fight _

_We live we shine on_

_Forever missed Forever gone but forever in our hearts we carry on_

_The memories of those we lost_

_This is just a temporary home _

_We will make it shine we will make it shine_

**Lyrics are owned by me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Trina**

Returning to our rooms exhausted we took turns showering as I waited a knock on the door startled me.

Opening the door I saw Kristen standing there.

_Hi Trina _

_Uh hello come on in_

_Thanks I know your all tired but I just came by to drop off the deliverance candles _

_Huh?_

_Sorry babe these are for next years ceremony bring them with you so you can be apart of next years bonfire._

_If for some reason you can't being them pass them on to someone who can._

_I'll be back next year!_

Tori called out excitedly followed shortly by Cat's little voice.

_Yeah me to!_

I could only imagine what Jade would say if she wasn't in the shower.

_Excellent I can't wait to see all of you back next year._

_Have a great night everyone Trina see you tomorrow at the 7am staff meeting._

Wait did she say 7 am!

Who's idea was this?

_Remind me to stab whoever thought of this!_

_That would be Ali_

A deep voice startled me from behind as I saw Kristen out she was way to cheery for this late. Freddie's smirk met my eyes. My hand flew to my heart as I tried to control the breathing.

_Sorry didn't mean to scare you _

_It's okay I forgive cute boys and you'll do for now_

_So are you saying I'm cute?_

_I'm saying you'll be fine to pass the summer with_

_I don't know if I should be insulted or complimented_

_Take it as you want_

_What if I want you?_

_Whoa you waste no time huh?_

_I have no time to waste_

_Every moment that I am alive and breathing is a miracle and I want someone to share that miracle with_

I tried not to roll my eyes and laugh he was the most pathetic kid I had met yet.

His eyes were almost pleading with me but I wasn't about to get caught up in some sick boy's problems so without answering I slammed the door on him.

_That was mean Trina that boy was so cute and he really seems to like you_

_Cat he's a loser and I don't date losers cute or not_

Cat's eyes followed the line of the door there was something in them I hadn't seen all day sadness.

She didn't know what to say to me but she gave me the saddest look.

_Lets go kiddies bed time_

_Were not kids!_

Tori yelled I laughed yeah right their little ankle biting preteen girls maybe she was right preteen girls are worse than kids.

_Omg Cat did you see that boy Andre_

_Yea the one who was on stage Tori?_

_Yea omg Cat how cute was he?_

_So cute oh my lord his smile broke my heart_

_So you could say your heart broken_

_Or that he left my heart weakened_

They giggled like crazy as Tori whacked her with a pillow Cat screamed covering herself grabbing a pillow to defend herself with.

_The black humor around this place is insane_

_Sometimes humor is the best medicine Trina_

A loud bang rung out snapping my head up I traced it to the bathroom.

_She's fine Trina she's just weak sometimes after treatment so she drops her shampoo bottle_

_I'll go make sure though_

_Fine whatever saves me thanks Cat_

Cat hurried into the bathroom leaving me and Tori alone laying back on her bed which she had covered with her Yankee's duvet our eyes locked.

_Having fun Trina?_

_Fun Tori I'm stuck with a bunch of losers how is this fun?_

_Cause were together_

_I repeat how is this fun?_

_We need some sister bonding time_

I sprang up from my bed and went over to her bed she looked at me like what the heck was I doing?

Moving as close to her as I could I grabbed her chest and pulled her to my face.

_Get this Tori I am only here cause mom and dad made me I hate spending time with you! I hate that your the golden child in this family so for this whole summer were going to play it my way._

_We are not sisters we do not know each other your just another whiny little camper with a crappy life and I'm your unlucky counselor._

_Tell anybody anything else I swear I will make the rest of your life a living hell_

The fear in her eyes told me I had gotten through to her jumping back as I heard Cat and Jade coming out I scurried to my bed eying Tori.

Cat had Jade's arm over her shoulders the girl looked so tired she was resting on Cat's shoulder her chest heaving.

_Is she okay?_

_Yea she's just winded from the chemo and the shower_

_Your winded from a shower?_

_Wow and I thought I was out of shape maybe you should work out that's the problem with kids now a days so lazy spending time playing games._

_She's not lazy Trina she's sick she has thousand of chemicals going through her body she needs rest _

Jade groaned and laid down with Cat's help covering her up.

_Is there anything I can do to help Cat?_

_Yea drop dead Vega you make me sick with your goody toe shoes caring attitude oh..god.._

Jade leaned over vomiting badly into the garbage can Cat had for her. Tori's eyes filled with tears.

_Jade that was mean_

_I don't care Cat she's annoying_

Tori curled up into her bed crying. What a baby. How did I get stuck with that as a sister?

Cat went over and got a wet cloth as she went over Jade's forehead. The coolness seemed to soothe Jade who calmed down Cat wiped her mouth helping her get her legs in the bed.

_Don't cry Tori Jadey is just not feeling well she didn't mean it your sweet and I think that's adorable._

_Yea and I always say your not the brightest Cat_

Cat sighed pulling the covers over Jade.

Yup fun Tori this summer would be a blast alright.


	14. Chapter 14

**Cat's p o v**

Bang Bang my fist were getting sore from pounding on the bathroom door for ten minutes straight why was Tori in there so long?

_Tori hurry up please I have to pee so bad_

_Tori!_

The sound of sniffling made me freeze despite the fact I had to go so bad I was about to burst.

_Tori are you okay?_

_Y..e..a..a..h I'm f..i..n...e_

_You don't sound fine can we talk? Sometimes talking helps_

_No Cat I'm fine I just need some alone time_

_I need to pee_

_Ask the boys_

Uh!

No way was I going across the hall to ask them to use their bathroom everyone knows boys are gross!

Where the heck was I going to go?

So much for girls sticking together thanks Tori turning I saw Trina was gone and Jade still sleeping I wasn't going to wake her she had a horrible night she needed her rest.

Running out of the room it was so early that no one was around why was the elevator so slow? When I wasn't in a hurry it was fast as lighting when I was about to wet myself it was slower than my brain on sleeping pills and that's really slow.

Running past the cafeteria a few offices the gym my eyes caught on a few kids in there one was a girl named Taylor Morgan who was trying to be the next Taylor Swift from her blond hair to her vocals to her biceps, she was even copying her workout routine some chicks have no shame.

Then there was one of those twins Tori was talking to last night after I passed out. Yeah that wasn't embarrassing.

I didn't know his name but I knew he was hot with his black half curly half straight hair his hazel eyes his dimples that seemed to wink when he smiled at you.

Forget him Cat you have to pee!

Bathroom where was the nearest bathroom?

Looking around the lobby which only had a few staff members lingering around I was desperate my eyes scanned every possibility.

Finally I saw it racing to the girls room which was locked of course damn it!

Nothing else around for miles except the boys room oh gross! Pressure so bad I thought I would fall over in agony caused me to make a split second decision.

Nasty it's settled boys are just nasty venoms why were there girls names written on the stalls with nasty names and numbers?

Why were there toilet paper all over the floor?

I felt like I was going to puke.

Just wash your hands Cat and you'll be fine.

_Is little red riding hood lost?_

_Ah!_

I screamed as the voice startled me my face flushed with color. Water sprayed everywhere as my hands flew over my face. There he was in the flesh those gorgeous hazel eyes those dimples those arms them abs my eyes traveled all over his amazing body and ah!

_No boy parts eh I shouldn't be seeing these things!_

_Gross!_

He laughed why was he laughing at me?

_Little girl never seen a boy pee before?_

_No why would I that's gross_

_Please put it away I'm a lady _

_Relax little lady as soon as it's done leaking it will be put away_

_Uh gross_

I ran out gross gross gross!

I was so grossed out I didn't stop to think I was running not till my body reminded me pain shot through my chest my legs gave out and before I knew it I was laying flat on my back on the cold hard dirt staring up at the sun.

_Cat Cat are you okay?_

His twin was now staring down at me. He had the same eyes but no dimples and his hair was ten times more curly.

_Cat sweetie are you okay?_

_Where am I?_

_What happened?_

_You fainted again that's twice in two days_

_Don't move Nurse Benson is on the way _

_No no I'm fine_

_Cat you fainted _

_So _

_So it's dangerous _

_So is life but we still live it _

_Just help me up please_

_Cat you really should see a nurse_

_What's your name curls?_

He giggled dang he giggled like a girl. Slowly he helped me sit up even that action left me so winded I felt dizzy.

His eyes were full of worry which I hated why did everyone always pity me?

_Name is Robbie Robbie Shapiro and I am Thirteen years old_

_So what happened to cause you to faint this time?_

_Boys happened their gross and ...oh I'm tired I think I should lay down for a while_

_I'll help you back to your room_

_Thanks Robbie your sure a lot nicer than your twin_

_My twin oh you mean the pig I was unfortunate enough to share a womb with_

_Yea if that's how you want to view it_

_Yes we are not brothers or friends _

_Well that's sad I love having a brother he's the best please don't tell him I fainted_

_Cat I think you should see a nurse_

_Robbie do you ever get tired of people fussing over you because of your illness whatever it is you have_

_Unless your not sick and your just posing cause that would be creepy and boys do creepy things_

_No I'm not faking Cat_

Robbie was struggling to even hold me up defiantly didn't have his brother's biceps, we were barely standing I was so weak I felt like I could pass out again damn this heart.

Robbie's face was red but he wouldn't quit he took each step at a time slowly we made it to the elevator where I leaned against the cool wall.

_I really am sick if you couldn't tell by the fact it took us fifteen minutes to get from the lobby to here_

I giggled despite the fact I tried not to but he seemed at ease with laughing at himself so it didn't seem wrong.

_I have CF had it since I was three_

I had heard of CF I knew it stood for Cystic Fibrosis but I didn't know much beyond that and he didn't seem to want to say much more so I respected that.

Beside it took every effort I had to stay upright breathing was a chore and I had no energy left to spare for small talk.

Slowly we started down the hall my head leaning on his shoulder I felt dizzy again maybe if I closed my eyes I would feel better.

_Freddie!_

I heard Robbie call to someone and footsteps seemed to rush to us suddenly I was being carried I hated this please let me walk I'm not dead I can walk, but I couldn't speak.

Banging of fists against wood a grumbling voice which belonged to Trina than a gasp as I opened my eyes and saw Jade and Trina standing there quickly Jade showed him where to lay me down her bed so sweet.

I saw Freddie's eyes connect with Trina something passed between them he was warning her about something she was indifferent towards it but deep in her eyes I saw worry.

Jade was by me in an instant placing an oxygen mask over my face which I tried to fight off but she grabbed my hands holding them while Freddie hooked me to it.

Cool air rushed into my mouth and nose I saw Jade staring at me with fear she was never afraid I hated seeing her afraid and knowing I caused it broke my already broken heart.

Robbie was standing in a distance his eyes filled with tears and worry he's such a girl.

Would he ever man up and be like his brother? I mean don't get me wrong Robbie is sweet and caring and he doesn't laugh at how young I am.

Yet as nice as he was my heart didn't flutter my face didn't flush I didn't get that tingly feeling inside as I did when I looked at his twin.

What was wrong with me? Was my heart so screwed up that I couldn't even fall for the decent guy?

His smile was the last imagine I had before I felt myself drift off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Cat's p o v**

_I'm starving Jade can we get some good food?_

_Well we can get food Cat but I don't know how good it will be I mean it's camp_

_A step below school food which ranks it between garbage and sewer gunk_

Jade's snare remarks made me laugh as we walked down to the cafe but I was looking for Tori did Jade's words really effect her that bad? I mean I know she can be pretty hurtful but Tori had to understand how sick she was. She got what it meant to be so ill you felt like dying but were fighting to stay alive.

Kids were poring into the cafe which was already packed I grabbed Jade's hand so I didn't lose her it was so noisy I couldn't even hear my own thoughts swirling in my head.

I don't know who told Jade this ranking but the food looked really yummy to me I grabbed some OJ Pancakes a Banana. I couldn't have too much sodium or cholesterol but this seemed balanced. Jade wrinkled her nose at my plate grabbing some cereal I hated how this chemo made her so sick she couldn't even stomach food.

The place was filled in every direction and I didn't see any empty seats but we kept looking.

Trina was sitting with some chick who had a bored look on her face I was scared to try to sit with kids I didn't know but I didn't want to stand and eat either. Sighing I looked for Jade who had a look of disgust on her face.

_Cat over here!_

My head snapped to my left where I saw Robbie standing up at a table waving widely grinning quickly I grabbed Jade's hand pulling her Robbie was nice and I hated standing there looking like a total idiot.

_Hi Cat I'm glad to see your feeling better_

_Thanks I just needed some rest I guess thanks for helping me_

_Jade this is Robbie _

_Hi loser_

_Who asked you to talk?_

Robbie looked befuddled as he stared at her I heard a deep laugh oh great the twin was there to.

_Girls these are my friends Andre_

_Sup ladies looking fine today_

_Thanks I'm Cat like the animal meow _

_We saw you preform at the opening ceremony _

_You got some swag boy I like it _

_Well I do try my lady thank you always appreciated_

_I was a nervous wreck though I mean it's a huge honor_

_Yea it is but you puled it off _

_Next to Andre is my man Beck Oliver_

I saw Jade freeze as she looked up this Beck boy was kind of cute to he was skinny as a rail and white as paste but he had this deep rich black wavy hair that went to his lower ear his bangs hung over his left eye which were a deep brown.

He seemed shy or he was just really into his food which was piled high five pancakes bacon and sausage.

_That loser over there is Rex _

He pointed to his twin who rolled his eyes.

_Loser dude I am the best part of you _

_You can't have any of my parts_

_I don't want your parts dude their so used up their useless _

_I am healthy and active and hot _

_Too hot to stay in this drowning pool of losing _

_Cat when your ready to feel the heat come find me _

I watched him as he went off damn he was so hot but I wasn't about to insult Robbie who looked crushed.

_Tori!_

I yelled out seeing her coming up she looked upset still.

_Yay Jade there's Tori_

_So why are you yaying? I should be vomiting but I'm sick of vomiting_

_He he you just made a joke your sick if being sick_

_Very funny Cat_

_Well I thought it was_

_You think pineapple fuss is funny_

_Well it is and soft to __well it was until it bit me_

_Pineapples aren't soft or cute and neither is inviting that loser over here bad enough we have to share a room with her._

_Oh we met Tori at the opening ceremony she's sweet_

_See Robbie thinks she's sweet_

_Robbie's a loser_

_I am not!_

_Yea you are dude_

_Am not_

_Dude no matter how hard you deny it it won't make it any less true_

_Yea and saying it won't make you any bigger of a meanie than you already are_

_You have that covered_

_Thanks_

_Not a compliment _

_It is if I say it is_

_Ladies enough_

_I'm not a lady Beck _

_Well your whining like one_

_Have a seat Tori _

_Thanks sorry I took so long not having a great day_

_We all have one of them no apologies needed _

_Care to talk about it?_

Andre was so sweet as he talked to her he took her hand.

_Jade's bark is worse than her bite don't let her scare you_

_Hey Cat _

_Yea?_

_Shut up_

_Don't be mean _

_It's nothing really I mean I just I'm not use to being the new girl anywhere I've gone to the same school_

_Since I was five I have two amazing friends Alex and Greg who never mean to me I mean yeah we fight but I know they love me._

_I'm not use to being away from home or having to defend myself against .._

_Mean girls?_

_Yea no one is ever out right mean to me back home_

_Well aren't you lucky than?_

_No not really Jade I still have an incurable illness _

_What do you have if I can ask Tori_

_Yeah Cat it's cool I have Lupus and it's caused me to be in renal failure_

_I need a kidney transplant without one I will die_

I felt my heart squeeze and it wasn't from stress it was from compassion I knew how that felt.

_How long have you been in end stage renal?_

_Three years I'm on dialysis three times a week_

_No matches yet?_

_We almost had one but..._

She sighed looking away.

_The donor backed out at the last minute_

_ah who does that wait that happens donors can just back out?_

Now my heart squeezed in fear and disbelieving. Jade rose yanking on me.

_Cat we need to get down to the media center our class starts soon_

_Oh what class do you have?_

Tori barely touched her scrambled eggs she had only three ounces of apple juice.

_We have Film production _

_Oh sweet so do we!_

Andre pumped his arm

_Lets do this thang!_

_Jade you didn't eat_

_Who are you the food police?_

Beck sighed throwing his arms up as we got up. I felt myself reach up and rub her back I know she hates to be monitored.

_Cat can I ask you something?_

Robbie asked as we threw our stuff out everyone else seemed to be moving three times faster but I could only move as fast as a snail.

Robbie wrapped his arm over my waist as we walked out of the cafe the truck was filled so we waited for another one I waved to Jade who had her arms crossed sitting by Beck.

Good luck man he'd need it with her.

_What's up Robbie?_

_There's a dance at the end of the session_

_Uh huh yeah Ali calls it the Back To Reality Jam_

_Yea well I was hoping you could be my date_

My throat seemed to swell shut was he serious? I had only known him like a minute and he wanted to date already?


	16. Chapter 16

**Cat's p o v**

All around us we were surrounded by musical instruments and musical geniuses taking our seats we took it all in.

They wasted no time here within minutes Liam was in front of the class clapping his hands as we took our seats.

Trina was talking to Freddie.

Tori was giggling pointing at Freddie.

_I wonder what he sees in her she's such a witch_

_Jade that's not nice_

_Cat sometimes the truth hurts _

_I mean he's cute look at those dimples his eyes are the most gorgeous shade of brown I have ever seen_

_You saw them Jade? Omg I almost melted_

_Yea he was really sweet he helped me last night when I was sick and needed to go to the clinic_

_You were sick? What happened?_

_Nothing to worry about babe my blood sugar dropped since I'm not eating a lot _

_I wonder what will get to do in this class?_

_Everyone can I have your attention!_

_Quite please!_

Sitting forward we stared straight ahead there was three people standing up front.

_Hello everyone as you all know I am Liam O' Donnell _

_This is Beginners Film Production on my left we have my assistant teachers Mr. Freddie Benson_

_Hello_

Freddie waved smiling I saw Trina sitting on the end left seat rolling her eyes.

_My next assistant is Lark Angel Gianna _

_Hi I'm Lark I'm 22 and I go by LG and I am an assistant producer in Hollywood so far I have ten movie credits under my belts you may have heard of some of my movies._

_Has anyone seen City of Angels_

_Amazing Grace_

_Action Hero number six, _

_Angels Among us_

_City of white_

There were gasps and nods and cheers as she went through her list. I couldn't believe she had produced City of Angels I loved that movie!

The movie was about this elite ballet team made up of kids were fighting for the 50 th competition win but were faced with challenge after challenge.

_Were going to split into groups there's 21 of you so were split into three groups_

_Each team will have one of us as a coach so when your name is called please go to the coach that calls you._

_First up team Benson _

Jade giggled poking me I rolled my eyes I mean he was cute but he was at least 15. I was only 13 and just barely.

_Miss Lark please call the kids you would like on your team_

_Thank you Liam please come forward when you hear your name_

_Cat Valentine_

_Jade West _

_Beck Oliver_

_Robbie Shaprio_

_Tori Vega_

_Andre Harris_

_Rex Shaprio_

Once all the names were called we moved the desks to form circles. Lark came over smiling she was really pretty tall and thin with long flowing black hair striped with purple and pink she had blue eyes that smiled dark coca skin.

She was dressed in designer suits and heals and smelled amazing.

_Hello everyone nice to meet all of you _

_Hi _

_Hello _

_Your pretty_

_Thanks Robbie is it?_

_Yes ma'am_

_Loser_

_Rex be nice_

_Alright everyone as you know this camp is run by donations from the public_

_But with the country struggling donations are low so we have to raise awareness_

_How can we do this in a film without making it seem like a psa?_

_Ideas?_

_Broadway style_

_Dance class_

_Aliens attacking _

_Whoa wait all great ideas but we need something we can work with without a studio_

_We all need to agree_

_What should the core of the message be about?_

_One at a time please_

_Beck_

_Being an outcast_

_Okay now why did you say that?_

_Cause that's how it feels when you have an illness you feel like an outcast cause you can't compete in sports when you have to to spend three to four days a week having transfusions you can't be on a team you can't attend practices. So you don't make friends cause everyone knows you as the sick kid._

_Speak for yourself loser your only as sick as you let people think you are I have CF but it hasn't stopped me. I still play football soccer and hockey. I'm Captain of my school team and I run track placed third in the nation._

_No one treats me like an outcast cause I refuse to be one._

_Rex that was rude there's no name calling needed and every one of us is different let's give Beck a chance to finish talking._

_Beck now how can we turn that into a promo for the camp?_

_Cause the camp gives me a place where I can feel like I am not an outcast I know I won't get teased here. I know I'll be accepted and I will get to work on what I love. _

_Alright any other ideas?_

_Bullying it's an important issue in todays society and it's one we all faced being sick _

_Okay Cat why don't you talk a little about that_

_Well I'm home schooled since I was nine I was in private school in first and second grade my first two years in school I couldn't play at recess with the other kids. I couldn't expand the energy. Kids picked on me calling me Lil blue cause my lips and nails were always blue from lack of oxygen they made crying sounds. They pushed me down whispered about me they made up lies._

_Sometimes I felt so alone because Jade wasn't in my school so I was on my own to deal with these bullies they would shove my head down a toilet and flush they tore my pictures and artwork they told me my dreams were stupid I was nothing and useless._

_Jade was my only friend she was my shooting star when I was falling even though she couldn't protect me she always made me feel special she made me feel beautiful her and my brother would stay up all night putting on shows telling jokes anything to take my mind off being sick feeling alone._

_Milan has always been into preforming and he installed that love into us Broadway is his biggest dreams and from the time we were kids we were always going after every role in every play possible we were cast in a musical when we were ten and it just became our life savior. We love to sing to dance even though I could only do it in short doses we had a director who really cared about us as kids not just as performers._

_He knew I wasn't able to do a full number but he didn't care he cared enough about my dreams and my love for preforming to work around my limitations._

_He gave me hope and he made my dreams seem possible._

_So that's why I chose bullying and Broadway._

_Okay Robbie how about you?_

_Well I always liked aliens _

_Cause you are one loser_

_Shut up Rex _

_Rex please give your brother his time you will get yours_

_Aliens are cool they are the outcasts but they don't care cause they have awesome powers that they use to defeat their enemies._

_People are afraid of the unknown cause what they don't know in their minds can hurt them when your sick as a kid it makes people afraid cause kids aren't suppose to get sick. Their suppose to be cute and funny their suppose to be the hope and the future that the grownups want them to be._

_When life throws the balance off and forces grownups to confront something difficult and unfamiliar it becomes too hard to face so their react in fear._

_It's just like aliens people don't want to think that there's something bigger grander out there that life can exist in any other form than humans._

_We as humans like to think we are the superior form but what if were not that scares people._

_Okay so Robbie likes Aliens Cat feels strongly about bullying Jade what do you like?_

_Dance like Cat I hate fighting my parents are always fighting it drives me insane I mean fighting cancer is hard enough it takes all my energy to have strength to get through each day._

_I'm throwing up I have no energy. I'm always so frigging tired. I'm 12 I should be going to the mall shopping with my girlfriends wait I have only one Cat the other girls hate me cause of how sick I am their afraid of me or they pity me I HATE BEING PITIED! _

_I don't need someone to feel sorry for me I'm not dying I'm living with cancer and I just want to be treated normally but they don't no one treats you normal when you have cancer they tease me they whisper point and stare they make up rumors._

_It the bullying got so bad last year that half the girls in my grade level made an online club called the we hate bald jade club every time I walked passed someone they threw hair at me and dead animals._

_The animals always had Jade craved into them and were shaved they posted nasty comments online about me and chanted die die die witch every time I walked into a room or down the hall. _

_The teachers saw it but they did nothing. No one wans to stand up for the outcasts no one_

_Worse though are the kids who feel sorry for me their cry and pretend that it hurts them they send me sympathy cards. Sympathy I don't need sympathy. I'm not dead I didn't lose someone I just want someone to stand up with me to support me not cry for me. I cry enough on my own._

_I just want to be normal I want to act but I can't even join the drama club cause it's run by one of the teachers who's daughter formed the bald jade club._

_I tried to audition but Cancer robbed me of so much and the chemo well it's worse than the cancer. _

_I have killer headaches my body aches my mouth is sore I can't eat everything burns my mouth my throat. I've lost 20 pounds in the last year. _

_I'm underweight I weigh 20 pounds less than a normal 12 year old. _

_No matter how much I sleep I'm just always so damn tired and I hate it I have this stupid port inside my chest I'm always under going treatments so I can't swim. I can't play take gymnastics cause I can't risk falling gymnastics is a requirement for serious dancers. My nerves are damaged from the chemo I have numbness in my toes. _

_I was kicked out of my dance studio because of it. My muscles hurt all the time my stomach is always bloated and hurts._

_I'm tired of being in pain of having my dreams ripped away I am so far behind in dance I'm afraid I will never catch up._

_Jade I know it may seem hard now sweetie but I know it does get better you get stronger the cancer the fears get weaker._

She squeezed Jade's hand tightly smiling.

_These are all excellent guys so how do we create an amazing movie how do we fuse these ideas feelings into a master piece?_

_First question LG what's our budget?_

_Aw your cute Rex but our budget _

She laughed shaking her head Jade rolled her eyes I tried not to look at her cause I would cry I hated what those girls did to her last year. I was so angry my mom was so mad she hired a lawyer to sue them the lawsuits still on going but she was so tough she never let her pain show to anyone she never cried to anyone except me.

_Can anyone answer his question?_

_We have none whatever we find we use if we don't have it _

_We build it!_

We all answered LG high fived us Rex grunted.

_Well we need to come up with a plot first_

Andre-_How about we do it as a battle guys love battling so it's perfect for us_

Andre pumped his fist

Robbie_\- Yea and we can have two dance teams one team will be the aliens _

Rex-_ They will have the name of an illness on their chest _

Beck- _Cool_ _one can be the popular kids with normal across their chests their battling for control of their school._

I chipped in excited

_We can do it Broadway style and after the battle the ones left will be a mixture form both teams their be forced to create a new world and they will feel at home in this new world because differences will be normal. Uniqueness will be their key to survival. _

Jade-_We can call that No Illusions cause their will be no hiding behind a facade they will have to face their demons their insecurities._

Tori_\- Maybe afterwards we can each say a little about what makes us the aliens and what makes us normal._

_Excellent now it's up to you guys and girls to scout out locations to work out chero and music you'll be in charge of filming editing writing the script._

_Unfortunately that's all the time we have today but I want you guys to get together every night to work on this we only have ten weeks to make this happen._

_Think we can do it?_

_YES!_

We high fived in a circle.

I was so excited this is what I have been waiting my whole life for.


	17. Chapter 17

**Robbie's p o v**

_Aliens dude you are one strange dude_

_What Aliens are cool Rex_

_No their not their freaks just like you_

_I'm not a freak!_

_Yea you are _

My face must have been beat red I could feel the heat flowing through me my fists were clenched as Rex towered over me pushing me back.

_I can't believe were even related I mean seriously you are a disgrace_

_No I'm not Mom says I am unique and awesome_

_Aw listen to you Mom says what are you a boy or a pansy?_

He shoved me harder losing my balance I fell and smashed my face against the wood floor my glasses flew off.

I heard gasps but no one laughed well that's a change.

_Hey man not cool we don't do chiz like that here_

Beck stood up and pushed Rex back as Cat dropped to her knees touching my arm Jade was the only one that seemed uncaring.

_Aw what are we the Brady bunch please save that crap for when the counselors are around_

_It's not crap and watch your words we have girls here_

_Aw the wittle girls afraid of big bad grownup words?_

_Sounds like your in perfect company wittle girl_

_Don't bother helping him up he's right where he belongs on the floor with his dignity_

_What's going on over here?_

Freddie's voice called out angrily Cat's sniffles filled me with alarm I didn't want her to be upset she was so pretty and so sweet.

Suck it up man be a man. Taking a deep breath I willed my arms to have the strength to push me up it wasn't easy pain shot through my weak arms as I pushed myself off the floor.

I could feel all the eyes on me even though they weren't judging me or pitying me I still felt embarrassed.

_Rex is being mean to Robbie_

I didn't know her name but the girl with a high ponytail full of blue and green hair spoke up she was probably about 14 but had piercings in various spots on her face.

_Rex is this true?_

No please don't do this Freddie don't make him answer.

_Well is it?_

Beck and Andre helped me to my feet Cat's hand touched my arm her eyes were filled with worry Tori came over and gave me a hug.

_No sir I'm just teaching Robbie here to be a man but it's hopeless_

_He's never going to be a man he'll always be a little whining sniveling mamma's girl_

_Rex that's more than enough apologize to your brother or get out_

_I'm out don't worry and count me out of this pathetic group_

_Grow a pair Robbie learn to stand your ground_

Rex tore out of the room leaving my head spinning as Jade snickered.

_Rex is awesome man I love him_

_Jade he's mean!_

_No Cat he's honest it's more than most people here are_

_No he's not Jade he's rude and violent_

_Cat don't he's right so is she I am pathetic I know it_

_Ring the bell there's a light inside dim but it's lite_

_Jade your mean_

_Who asked you Olive?_

_It's Oliver_

_Whatever Olive_

_You really need to work on your people skills_

_Oh yea and you need to work on minding your own business_

_I am minding my business your insulting my friend_

_Friend you just met him a day ago_

_So you can be friends with someone you just met it's not a foreign concept _

_Beck why don't we walk down to the dance studio and let Jade ride with Cat and Robbie Cat looks really tired._

They both shut up and glanced back I was glad Cat didn't hear Tori since she was over with Andre helping him pack up his keyboard. She would hate to have anyone pity her but I knew why Tori was doing it. It was painful to all our ears to listen to these two.

Beck agreed though and they set off while Cat helped Andre with his instruments dang what did he have with him?

Sighing I went over to him leaving Jade to talk to the girl with blue and green hair.

_Hey man thanks for the help_

_Yea sure Robbie that's what friends do_

_So what do you have here?_

_My keyboard, my laptop, my guitar _

_Cool a one man band_

_Basically anything you need I have it _

_Taking this to the dance studio?_

_Yea they have lockers _

I grabbed the lightest which was the laptop since my arms were shaky from being shoved.

_Hey Jade you coming?_

Cat called as we headed out Jade nodded to the girl and came over taking Andre's guitar from Cat who was struggling with it.

She smiled gratefully dang she was so beautiful when she smiled. Cat linked her arm through mine as we walked out of the music building the sun was brilliant and the rays casted down on us felt amazing. I love the warm weather since I am always cold it feels amazing.

Her hand touched mine and I felt my whole body tingle she must like me! Why else would she take my arm and hand? Why else would she defend me?

She's so adorable though I couldn't be that lucky could I?

I never understood why grandmothers like to pinch checks not until I stared at Cat's adorable checks I just wanted to kiss them pinch them.

We walked over to the bench to wait for one of the golf carts Cat laid her head on my shoulder so I took the chance to slip my arm over her waist. I was so nervous I wasn't use to this.

Andre and Jade were in some discussion about horror films gross.

_Hey Cat has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful?_

She picked her head up and stared at me like I had two heads dang it you blew it nice job Robbie man you really are a loser!

_Your strange Robbie_

She battered her eyelashes man she had amazing lashes so long and delicate.

My heart dropped.

_I am not beautiful Angelina Jo-Pitt is beautiful my mom is beautiful Audrey Hepburn is beautiful_

_No me I am just a kid_

Her statement was matter of fact and I kind of understood what she was saying but still I felt heart broken. Not cause she called me strange I'm use to being called names. I admit it to I am a little off.

What got to me was how she didn't think she was beautiful cause there were a million ways I could name she was beautiful.

To me beauty isn't just skin deep.

Even in the short time I have known her I could see how much she cared about people about animals she didn't speak badly about people.

She defended people she didn't give up when people said to she fought there's a beauty about her inside that one can't measure by looking in a mirror.

My mom always says you can see a persons soul through their eyes and I see what she means staring inside Cat's eyes I could see how amazing she was and I yearned to get to know her better.

We climbed on the back of the cart I helped Cat as Andre and Jade took two seats in front of us his instruments took up a seat of their own.

Face the facts Robbie your thirteen you've never been kissed Rex has already had countless girlfriends.

God knows what he's done with them I mean he brags about how far he's gone but I wonder sometimes.

I've never even had a real girlfriend no girl will give me the time of day I mean why would they? It's not like I can even stay in school long enough to make friends I spend 90% of the year in the hospitals.

_Would you mind if I laid my head back down?_

_I'm really tired_

_N..oo_

_Go on it's okay_

_Thanks Robbie_

I took her hand to let her know I was here for whatever she needed her skin was baby soft like I imagined.

_So how what do you think of that mean girl?_

_What mean girl?_

_Jade_

_Jade's not mean _

_Yea she is did you see that eye roll when Rex was shoving me?_

_Because she hates fighting she wasn't rolling her eyes at you as she was at the fact that your both immature and can't grow up._

_How am I am immature?_

_Cause you didn't fight back Robbie you let him own you and Jade will never let someone own her_

_It's not that easy Cat_

_Yea it is Robbie I get it he's your brother but you have to let him know he can't bully you_

_She's going to end up as a bully Cat I can see it she's so full of her own anger and pain she won't talk to anyone._

_She talks Robbie didn't you hear her_

_She told her story but her voice had no emotion she sounded robotic_

_What do you want Robbie Shakespeare?_

_She's 12 for god sakes she's undergoing chemo she probably feels sick and she's just struggling to get through today._

_If she gets upset she'll get herself sick_

_You make lots of excuses for her Cat but it doesn't make the truth any less true_

_Robbie maybe you should stop talking about things you have no clue about_

She pulled her hand away dang did I cross a line? The gold cart stopped in front of the dance studio where kids were milling around some having dance offs some blasting music and just fooling around.

There was a group of five in a full out routine singing and dancing and they were good.

_Cat don't be mad look I am not being judgmental it's just that I have never been allowed to play sports like Rex so I spent a load of time inside reading books being online I .._

_All I could ever do was watch from a far so I got use to watching people and as a result I got good at reading people._

_People cover up their feelings they hide behind facades they will use anything as a mask music drama sarcasm harsh words sweetness._

_It's how the game is played some play the saint some play the devil_

_Behind the facade though the curtain is raised and the true self is revealed._

_Jade won't let anyone see beyond the curtain she takes her role and lives her role she becomes her and character she forgets where her character ends and where Jade begins._

_The problem is at the end of the day acting is just a fancy name for lying._

_Robbie were all lying about something it's not up to us to judge each other_

_It's not about judging Cat it's about being honest if we can't be honest with each other than who can we be honest with?_

Cat pointed up to the sky.

_God he's the only one who has any right to judge us cause he's the only one who will never forget is forsake us he's the only one who doesn't need me to show him the real me cause he knows the real me._

_I don't need to please anyone except myself cause if you can't love me as I present myself you don't need to know anything else about me._

_I do love you Cat!_

She looked at me as she got to the top of the steps oh chiz did I just yell that out loud?

Swallowing I looked around yup everyone was quite now staring at us Cat 's eyes went wide and she took off.

Nice work Robbie you did it again!


	18. Chapter 18

**Robbie's p o v**

_5..6..7...8_

Rian lead us with a count before the music started pay attention Robbie you need this deep breath focus on the dance not the fact that Cat is over there looking flawless with each step that she twirls and allonge.

Her skin was shiny red her eyes sparkled but I couldn't focus on that I had to put every effort on this dance.

Dance doesn't come naturally to me it takes every ounce inside me while my leg is in attitude every bit of strength in me to hold my arm positions.

CF has made my life a living hell people breathe every second of everyday without thinking about it I have to think about every breath every movement takes that much more effort for me.

Closing my eyes I tried to let the music flow inside of me focusing on the lyrics always helps me.

_Turn the music up_

_Look to the sky _

_I can see me burning bright _

_I am the star I am sexy I am beautiful I am the best me I can ever be_

Damn these lyrics are lame I could do so much better but what did I know? I was only thirteen and I've been home schooled my whole life.

This kid has sold over 13 million copies of his song.

Maybe it's just cause I am a guy and this song was aimed at girls I mean they all seemed to be loving it Cat who could only do small parts was loving it her face was a 100 watt smile.

Tori's face was set in total focus I could see she was having trouble learning these steps but Jade man she was killing it her hips moving in these hip hop steps.

I wasn't going to stop though no matter how much my lungs burned I saw Cat in the corner of my eyes go and sit down her face was so red she was breathing hard. I hope she was okay I wanted to go over and check on her but I couldn't just stop mid air.

Heal to toe arms up chest out eyes forward focus Robbie don't let the fact that Rex is over there doing every step with perfect swag get to you or the fact that Cat's eyes won't leave his body.

My head was spinning so many steps to learn and most of these kids seemed to be able to do them without even thinking.

Bam!

I hit the ground hard I was at a loss I didn't even feel my feet go out from under me.

_You okay man?_

Looking up I saw Rian standing over me holding his hand out to me I felt my whole face flushing.

_Sorry I have two left feet when it comes to dance_

_No need to apologize to me man just shake it off and follow my lead on three_

_One two three_

Rian moved with such ease kicking his feet up spinning snapping his fingers but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get it. I kept falling and each fall hurt harder.

Rex kept laughing his laughter burned a hole in my head making me nervous and mad.

_Forget it he's a loser man he can't get it_

_I always told mom she should of stopped with me_

_Shut up Rex_

I smashed my fist against the floor.

_Robbie relax man don't let your brother get to you_

_Easier to say when you don't have to live with him_

Rian helped me up for the hundredth time. Turning to Rex we all stopped silent as Rian addressed him.

_Not cool man Robbie is your brother you are suppose to support him_

_Not tear him down _

_You can do this man believe in yourself and you will fly_

_It takes time to be the best stars aren't born over night_

_Every celebrity out there has trained for years to be the best_

I shock out my cramps and took a deep breath damn my lungs burned my eyes watered but the moment I looked over and saw Cat smile at me I forgot the pain her face was twisted in desire to be out on the floor. She longed to do this and her heart just wouldn't let her.

_She hates pity Robbie so just forget any pity you have for her_

Jade whispered to me as she shock herself out.

_Don't we all though?_

_Yea but what she lacks in physical effort she makes up for in enthusiasm_

I thought about how bad it must feel to want something so bad and to be forced to sit on the sidelines watching everyone else doing that one thing you want so bad.

Somewhere along the lines I found myself switching the focus from your a loser you can't do this to I can do anything and somehow I started to find myself nailing the steps gliding across the floor.

_Boom!_

Oh great ...wait it wasn't me!

Looking around I saw it was Beck laying on the floor blushing shaking his head.

_It's okay Beck shake it out everyone has off days _

_I have to teach another class in the next studio however is there anybody here who can help Beck?_

_Jade will!_

Cat yelled out giggling as Jade sent her a nasty look mouth flying open in shock.

_Yea she's amazing _

Tori called out I saw Jade blush a little.

_Excellent idea Cat Jade you don't mind staying _

_Part of being professional is being able to work as a team even if you hate your co-star_

Everyone was staring at Jade who fidgeted but shock her head.

_No I don't mind _

Her look at Beck said otherwise though. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Jade's p o v**

_Never known anybody like you _

_You lift me you when I fall_

_Like a star you shine in my world_

This kid was rough I mean had he ever taken a dance class in his life?

We had been working for hours and he was still struggling with the start of the dance grabbing water he apologized shaking his head.

_Let me show you again Beck pay attention_

_Start with your left arm cupped down left foot steps out try it_

He stared at me sighing I went over and placed my hands on his waist he grinned rolling my eyes I sighed now was not the time to flirt we had to learn this dance.

Slapping his leg only made him grin more.

_You slap like a girl_

I wouldn't give him the scarification to answer so instead I grabbed it and turned it out roughly he yelped that would teach him to play with me.

_Now your right steps out right arm bent up in fifth_

_Left arm dip down quick change to the right jump together in the middle_

_Boom_

I sighed as he fell again going over I helped him up.

_See why we don't fool around when we dance now pay attention and follow me_

_Yes Ma'am_

_Now hear the beat in your head_

_Three two one.._

_Left arm..quick change_

_Boom_

I helped him up again he kicked the floor his face was red he looked near tears which stopped any mean comments from coming.

_Can you hear the music in your head?_

_Look you don't have to be embarrassed we all have problems maybe dancing isn't your strong suit_

_I know these moves I have the whole dance memorized in sequence it's just I can't focus on the music my head is so foggy from this medication._

_Try not focusing on the moves picture yourself doing them in your head._

_Take a minute can you imagine yourself on stage _

I jumped out trying to make a show of it hands out eyes up as I laid it out for him

_The lights are off the fog comes out your on stage in position bam the music comes blaring on_

_The spotlight is on you Beck Oliver now what do you do?_

He stayed quite I stared at him guess this wouldn't work.

_Left arm down but not below the waist remember arms should always be above the waist_

_Right Beck now what's next_

_Left foot steps out_

_Good your getting it practice this first_

I worked with him mastering these first few movements than we took a break.

_Find something in the music a lyric a beat something that draws your attention to it and use it as a drive. If you find one point in it you can rise above the fogginess you just need a push a connection._

_Listen to the song and see if there's something that makes you feel a connection._

I played the track which was instrumental since Liam had taken the Cd with him for his next class.

Beck just seemed frustrated so I tried something different as he tried to work on each step I took a deep breath and started singing.

_I remember life when I was younger_

_I had so many dreams I wasn't afraid I had youth on my side_

_Youth and dreams my drive_

_Now time has passed by and I see how fragile life can be_

_Time has taught me I am my own worst enemy_

_Locked myself away behind these walls_

_Afraid to let myself fall afraid to feel _

_Afraid to open up to the hurt_

_Afraid to become burned_

_Than you came and opened up my skies_

_I no longer see it all in black and white_

_It's changed to Grey_

_Color is slowly creeping into my view_

_You broke me but you catch me and you lift me up_

_I know life won't be perfect _

_I will hurt I will feel the burn_

_But without the fire and the rain the pain won't have a chance to turn into _

_Pleasure the greatest reward life can bring_

Something seemed to click inside of him as he started to do the moves without me having to say them whatever it was it seemed to work so I kept singing as I did the moves with him.

_Your hands on my waist we dance together in perfect harmony_

_Don't be afraid you whisper to me_

_I take your hand I trust a word I never used in my life_

_I'll be your lyric if you'll be my melody_

_Together we will dance up the scale_

_Life can't be measured in meaning or time_

_When were standing at the edge looking down_

_Afraid to fall close your eyes and let the music be your wings_

_Music is our gravity _

_When your holding onto nothing _

_Take my hand and will lead each other _

_Will dance together _

_Towards those dreams we feared were lost _

_No one can steal our fate we make our own destiny_

_We just need a little help we can't always do it on our own_

_It's okay to ask for help_

_It doesn't make us weak_

That's it Beck left foot up in back hands on your knees step back left step back right count to three now it gets real.

Snap steps left right left right grapevine right left center clap step left point right foot center clap step hand in face ball change left stepping clap clap arms crossed in front shopping cart in out grab your pants pick up your left foot up center glide to the floor.

Beck's eyes were wide and he was panting by the time we were done.

_Your amazing Jade_

_Yeah I know_

I winked as he shock his head looking defeated grabbing a towel I wiped myself off.

_I didn't get this way by giving up Beck I worked my ass off since I was two_

_Everyday I am in the studio working hard no matter how sick I am sometimes it takes me weeks to get one movement down but I never stop till I have it._

_Your not good Beck_

_Dang are you always so blunt?_

_Yes cause I believe in keeping it real and I believe you can do this Beck but you have to want it and you have to work at it and not give up physically or mentally._

_Now take it again_

_One two Three_

He froze I sighed and grabbed his arms damn he smelled like a boy all sweaty and gross I hate sweat.

My stomach was not liking this smell but I took a deep breath fight through it Jade you've fought through so much before just don't think about it.

I thought about Rylee and Ali they battled cancer and kept their dreams alive. Rylee even lost an arm and still learned how to play a guitar and become one of the most famous teens around.

Beck was staring at me as I tried to focus on anything to keep my mind of how sick I was starting to feel.

His huge brown eyes looked concerned I hate when people get worried about me I mean like they really care anyway? Face it people just don't want to be around someone when they vomit I mean it's gross it smells. So they act all concerned but it's more of a plea for you not to be sick to spare them.

_Courage does not always roar sometimes it's the quite voice that says I will try again tomorrow_

_It's what gets you through one moment to the next_

Rylee's voice from an interview with bbc-teens rung in my head as I took another deep breath and shock out my last bit of shakiness.

_On three from the grapevine_

He seemed to want to say more but I didn't give him a chance I worked him for the next three hours till we both were so exhausted we fell onto the floor laughing he had finally gotten it.

Staring up at the celling I couldn't stop this feeling of amazement and happiness I didn't even notice he had moved closer to me till he was breathing on me but it was okay.

The celling was all glass and we could see the nighttime sky shining in all it's brilliance.

_Pretty surreal huh?_

_What is?_

_The universe and our existence I mean were so small compared to everything up there _

_When you really think about it our dreams of being famous seem so silly when you think about all the stars and hemisphere war and poverty so many important big things that are happening in this world and were worried about being famous chasing the illusive dream._

_Yea but most teens haven't been through what we have I mean what teen thinks about having to take medication everyday at specific times or their screw up their cycle and have to start all over?_

_Who thinks about having to be attached to machines everyday or every week or risk organ failure?_

_I never thought about this stuff Jade before I got sick I was a normal boy playing football with my friends playing manhunt and going to school bitching about all the work they gave us and how stupid math was._

_Than I got sick and my whole world stopped my parents marriage was tested cause my illness is inherited so they blamed themselves and each other they fight all the time._

My heart squeezed for him I knew what that felt like to feel like it was your fault your parents were unhappy to feel hated and resented.

_What disease did you inert?_

_I have Cooley's anemia it means I am missing a gene which affects how hemoglobin is made _

I knew how vital hemoglobin was for daily function so I knew how hellish his life must be. I knew how he must of felt when he found out he was sick.

I understood the isolation he must of felt from his peers when he couldn't risk being around them because of infection.

I knew how many days weeks months he spent inside a hospital learning to adjust to this new life while he was used as a test subject by medical professionals who didn't even bother to learn your name likes dislikes.

It wasn't right we should be chasing our dreams why should we be asked to sacrifice so much at such a young age?

So many kids our age have no clue what they want to do even at 18, 19, 20 their partying their lives away with no ambition no drive no real desire to change anything, they have all the time in the world.

Beck and I we may be young but we have so many dreams we want to change the world for the better but what we may not have is time.

**Lyrics are mine.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Rex p o v**

3..2..1

Breathe in breathe out you got this man this ain't nerves it's excitement I mean there's no way she'll say no. I mean look at yourself man your adorable hell, most girls will even say your hot.

Your amazing in sports your funny and charming your sweet you have it all man, so why was I ready to vomit?

What was it about this girl that gave me chills and made my heart race? Cat looked like any other Thirteen year old girl long curly brown hair to her mid shoulders hazel eyes and beautiful dimples in her pale face.

Yet she wasn't she was an angel I was sure of it even if I had never heard that amazing melody coming from those soft lips.

Damn those lips man they were what was killing me I mean I could just see myself kissing those two perfect cherries.

She had no idea I was even standing behind her I mean she was so lost in the song she was singing I might as well have been invisible at least she didn't hear how hard my heart was pounding.

Deep breath man and wait for the moment I listened to what she was singing.

_Do You ever think about me?_

_Was this only a bet?_

_Did you smile and laugh when you pass by your boys in the halls?_

_Smiled at me told me I was beautiful but was it all a lie?_

_Was it part of your plan to disgrace humiliate and dehumanize me?_

_Tell me what could I ever have done?_

_I was only eight years old_

_I believed in every word you told me_

_Was I wrong? When I thought you were a friend? Were you only a hater in disguise?_

_Just tell me please_

_How will you be part of my Legacy?_

_Will you be a hater or a supporter? _

_Make your choice fast cause I am on my way to greatness_

_Who ever said youth has no power has never meet me_

_I am the future I am greatness I am powerful beyond measure_

_The stage lights are shining on me_

_I have your voice echoing in my head_

_It lead me to sweet dreams_

_How was I suppose to know I would only cry over heartbreak less than a week later_

_I wish I had the courage to ask you in words_

_But fear embarrassment stops me cold_

_How could you be so cruel _

_You made me believe I was important to you_

_How was I suppose to know you were only playing me_

_In the pews after church you confessed to me you were nervous_

_You had never told a girl before how you felt_

_You looked at me and smiled_

_But the very next day when we cross in the halls you with your boys you can't even make eye connect _

_What's going on with that?_

_Just last night we shared the same dreams you seemed so sweet kissing my check giving me roses for no reasons._

_Maybe it seems sad that here I am five years still dwelling on the past_

_Move on shake it off it was just puppy love_

_But they just don't see it through my eyes_

_How will you be part of my Legacy?_

_Will you be a hater or a supporter? _

_Make your choice fast cause I am on my way to greatness_

_Who ever said youth has no power has never meet me_

_I am the future I am greatness I am powerful beyond measure_

_The stage lights are shining on me_

_Innocence stolen and dreams shattered they weren't the ones who had the rumors spread around_

_All over school they weren't the ones bullied day and night they aren't the ones scared for their lives_

_No oh no they just don't see it through my vision _

_Maybe they never will and maybe I just need to move on_

_Don't they ever think this is my way to shake it off and live my life get my revenge_

_No oh cause they just don't get that the music flows through me_

_It's my blood my heart my soul it's my mile run my marathon_

_See I can't run with my legs see my heart can't take the strenuous beat so I move my feet with these lyrics through my amazing beats._

_Watch me fly high above these negative comments see how I wash it off my back_

_They call me crazy cause I'm a kid with a vision a kid with a plan to be the best and be the biggest_

_Say what they want there's nothing that will stop me now No oh no I am living my life_

_I will be the best me I can ever be_

_Just do me a favor have the courage to say what you say to my face don't call me trash when your the one talking garbage behind my back._

_Say it to my face give me the chance to defend myself_

_Cause I know who I am I know the odds are stacked against me_

_But Goliath didn't back down _

_Rome wasn't built in a day_

_Watch me rise up _

_Listen as I burn up the charts cause you won't win _

_Even if I only have one hit I will make my mark_

_How will you be part of my Legacy?_

_Will you be a hater or a supporter? _

_Make your choice fast cause I am on my way to greatness_

_Who ever said youth has no power has never meet me_

_I am the future I am greatness I am powerful beyond measure_

_The stage lights are shining on me_

_I'm not living in the past I am writing my future in these cords_

_No one is turning out my lights _

I swallowed her voice was so strong so beautiful and every word had meaning I could feel her pain her fear and her hope.

Okay so most boys my age would think her song was corny and would probably tease her but they were just ignorant and maybe they had just never learned how to deal with emotions like a man.

See that's the thing between me and every other teen boy in my class yea I am cocky yes I know I am good looking and talented and smart.

What I am not is so vain I can't see beyond all this I never think I am better than anyone cause I'm not were all equal. My parents taught me since I was young to respect everyone and treat everyone the same. Even if someone disrespects you be the bigger person.

From the time I was young my dad drilled it in my head that girls deserve respect kindness commitment and honor.

I mean yes I date a lot and I am known as a player but it's not like I hurt girls I never date serious I mean I'm thirteen.

I have a hard time opening up to most girls cause their so vain at this age they all think dating me means they will be popular and it does, I am the captain of the football, basketball, team baseball.

Girls don't ask me how I am feeling. I guess I'm not suppose to feel.

After all tough guys don't break right?

So I put on this facade I act tough I talk trash I hang with my clique and I go with the status quo.

Thing is there's more to me than sports and dating pretty girls. No one in school knows that when I leave school. I go straight to church I help with the child-care till four pm.

Than the teacher Mrs. Pam drives me to Lach what's Lach?

Simple it stands for Los Angles Children's Hospital it's an after school hangout for the children of Los Angels children's hospital we have our own community center about two blocks from the hospital. Where we have a basketball court inside and outside, we have a soccer field and a baseball diamond.

We have rooms inside for almost every hobby kids like karate sewing games, classrooms for kids who want to take extra classes.

Don't let it fool you though I do not go there for sports I go there cause I am the president of their choir and captain of their dance team.

I love to sing and dance and I am the master of rap well unless you ask Miles Anderson he'll tell you he owns the street beats.

He's not...

Lach is amazing we have some of the dopiest singers dancers and musicians you can ever imagine. We preform year round at birthday parties, anniversaries, weddings, Christmas shows, we've been asked to preform on Tv and radio shows. We've been featured on Radio Disney and some of us even has small parts on The Disney show Shake it up.

I was one of them and Robbie is still jealous.

Kids know I am a member of being Lach but they think it's cause of Robbie, most kids don't even know or remember that I have the same disease as Robbie.

Why? Cause I hide it so well I vowed when we were diagnosed that I wouldn't let this illness stand in my way.

Maybe it's because I was so young when it happened. I was a really healthy and happy kid my dad and I played football and baseball everyday from the time I could stand. I was always running and laughing even at two years old my dad was doing strength conditioning with me.

Why me and not Robbie? Easy it wasn't like I was favored or anything it was just that I always showed an interest in sports, even as a baby I would clap when baseball or football came on Tv so my dad just went with it.

Robbie was more into baking and music and watching tv which was fine with our parents.

He was always complaining he was tired and sick so they thought he was just being a lazy kid.

It wasn't till we were five when we both landed in the hospital with pneumonia which didn't get better we were brought in on a Thursday after already having been home for a whole week without improvement despite the medication.

By Sunday Robbie was in PICU pediatrics intensive care unit he was on a bipap to help him breathe and I was on round the clock oxygen.

Doctors did so many tests on us and asked so many questions before they did one final test that changed our lives for ever,

The test they did is called a sweat test and it measures the amount of salt in a persons body. A mild chemical well that's what they call it is put on the skin which burns as well as a small amount of electricity, for me it was my arms and I was scared to death. I didn't understand any of it and they didn't stop to explain anything.

It's suppose to stimulate the sweat glands which they collect to measure the amount of chloride a component of salt in sweat.

A high level means you test positive for CF.

Cf is a life threating genetic disorder that primarily affects the lungs and digestive system. It's found in about 30,000 people in the USA alone and 70,000 worldwide.

People with CF inherit two defective genes one from each parent that causes a thick buildup of mucus in the lungs pancreas and other organs.

It feels like breathing through a straw the mucus also traps bacteria in some airways which results in infections and inflammation. It can and often leads to serve lung damage and eventually respiratory failure.

In the pancreas the buildup of Mucus prevents the release of digestive enzymes that help the body break down food and adsorb important nutrients.

It leaves almost no area untouched which is why Robbie and I practically lived in the hospital. CF had already wrecked havoc on Robbie's lungs he was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension meaning the arteries in his lungs narrowed in response to impaired oxygen flow between the lungs and blood cells, So Robbie's heart has to pump harder to move blood which increased the pressure in his lungs.

Watching him so helpless in that bed and hearing how mom and dad cuddled him and whispered about him when they thought we weren't listening made me so determined not to ever be like this.

So I cooperated with the doctors I did the therapies treatments and I worked out everyday with my dad. I followed the time line of tablets, treatments and hospital appointments.

I pushed myself through the pain I focused on the goals in front of me winning all stars for my baseball team, being well enough to not only try out for football but become the quarterback.

I did it and it wasn't easy but I never gave up I didn't just let this disease take over me.

I train everyday even in the off seasons I never stop working out and aiming for the next season.

Three to four hours from the time I wake up I take digestive enzymes and use inhalers everyday so I can live as normally as possible. Every three months I have to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics which usually requires a three day stay.

Because of the frequent stays my veins have deteriorated so I have to have the port in me for the next ten years.

Yes being sick sucks but I don't feel sorry for myself my dad has never let me he sees how hard I work to stay healthy and he encourages me.

Maybe it's why I am so much healthier than Robbie I had Dad by my side while he had mom who fussed over him made him lay in bed kissed him and fixed his every whim. He let her basically baby him and because of him being so inactive he went downhill so fast.

I know I will never have the same things most men will have no matter how long I live I'll never be able to sire a baby CF has made me Sterile. I can't drink Alcohol not with all the medications I take.

Yes I know the odds are stacked against me if I live to be in my thirties it would be a miracle there's no cure for CF.

Someday I may need a lung transplant if I go that route. For now I'm just doing what every other 13 year old does I'm living for each day as it comes and I am not letting anything stop me.

Right now I want Cat.


	21. Chapter 21

**Rex p o v**

She had no idea I was behind her so it was quick and easy work to wrap my arms around her waist and surprise her with a rose.

She squealed jumping up her hands flying to her mouth smiling and taking it as a sign of her happiness I moved forward and pinned the rose to her chest taking slow steady breaths to calm my shaking hands as I gently touched her.

Damn she smelled nice and her skin was warm to the touch not that I expected it to be cold but touching her just made it all seem so real.

Being so close to her smelling the sweetness of her shampoo conditioner perfume whatever it was made me feel so nervous. I couldn't kiss her check suddenly I felt too shy.

_I'm sorry If I scared you I wasn't trying to_

_It's okay but how long have you been standing there?_

_Only a few minutes just long enough to hear what an amazing voice you have _

Cat blushed giggling damn she had the sweetest laugh and it was so cute how she blushed and looked down too shy too look up.

_Thanks but I wish I sounded like Mariah Tarren _

_No way why would you want to sound like a washed up hag_

_Your young and vibrant full of energy and original ideas_

_Aw thanks but Mariah is awesome_

_She was Cat but she sold out two years ago_

_What do you mean? Why are people so mean to her Jadey says the same thing_

I gently took her hands into mine dang they were soft like baby's skin mine were rough from being out doors and sweaty from nervous.

_I'm not mean it's just honest why don't we take a walk and I'll explain what I mean_

_Are you willing to hear me out?_

She nodded shyly and let me take her hand squeezing it softly. The trail was so beautiful this time of day.

Cat smiled at me. Deep breath Rex your plans are working perfectly.

What's my plan? I call it Rex's ways to sway a girl.

_What I mean Catrina is this when she first came out she made it a point to say how she had her own style and she wanted girls to know they didn't have to transform to society's standards they could be whoever they wanted to be._

_She was different she wasn't all about doing what every artist was doing while it was all about R/B and dance she was about high notes and ballads._

_Yeah and she sold millions doing it _

_Yes she did Cat _

I pointed to the clear lake as we walked through the woods carefully she smiled as we came to a clearing.

_Than she took an eight year break right_

_Right Rex we all know this_

I helped clear a spot on a log for her so we could see across the lake where campers were rehearsing

for the end of camp talent show or the contest. Some were swimming in the lake or playing macro polo.

This deep into the woods it was pretty chilly so I took the moment to reach over and wrap my arms around her shoulders she was hesitant at first but she cuddled closer to me her back resting against my shoulder.

Smiling down at her I breathed her in she smelled like blueberries now I figured it out. I like blueberries I wonder if she tasted as delicious as blueberries.

_Well when she came back this year she was now 42 and competing against all these 16,17,20 year olds who are dominating the music scene._

_Plus the industry has changed power ballads aren't selling what's selling?_

_R/B Pop Dance teens are leading the scene_

_Tell me Cat what did you admire most about her?_

_How she had all these morals and beliefs how she wouldn't let anyone change her for money_

_Do you think she's still following them?_

I watched as Cat thought about this it was adorable how her dimples caved in how she twisted her lower lip with her teeth and curled her hair while she thought. I could stare at her forever and not get bored. The desire to reach over and run my hands through her soft hair was so tempting but I kept myself still. I didn't want to scare her she seemed so fragile.

_No your right she sold out she went and changed her style her sound her attitude_

_Everything just to make money _

My fingers were shaking as I gently ran my fingers over her face. I could imagine kissing those checks.

_I never want to be that kind of artist I want to make a change to inspire young people show them_

_How it's cool to be yourself imperfections and all._

_I'm sure you will be if you don't quit_

_Well I guess time will tell_

She stopped looking around worried I squeezed her hands holding her wrapping my arms around her stomach she settled back into me.

_Time the elusive object_

_Were all warned about_

_Yeah some of us have reason to worry_

_We all have reason Cat even those who aren't sick no one knows how much time they have_

_Yet it doesn't we should lay down and live in fear_

_But I am afraid Rex I can't do anything without my heart pounding so hard that I pass out_

_Have you ever tried letting go of the fear _

_The fear is what's holding you back not the disease_

_What do you mean?_

_The longer you think I can't I can't the faster your mind compels your body to cringe up and think I can't._

_Let me show you it is possible to have an illness and still live _

Cat seemed unsure but looked me straight in my eyes her own were so filled with doubt and fear and tears, taking her hand I helped her up and pulled her to my chest. She laid her head down listening to my breathing

Walking slowly out of the woods hearing the birds chirp I brushed the hair out her eyes she laid her head back down on my chest as I wrapped my arm over her waist she was so delicate.

_**Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you **_**not**_** to be? **_

_**You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. **_

_That's beautiful Rex_

_I know thanks and it's true_

_Yes so can you tell me who wrote it?_

I paused she smiled at me shaking her head probably thinking another dumb jock her sigh told me so I should play with her but there was something in her sigh that told me to tread carefully.

_Marianne Williamson it's from a return to true love reflections on the principles of a course in miracles._

_Holy snickerdoodles I didn't think anybody knew that my age_

_There's a lot you don't know about me Cat_

We walked side by side holding hands as the sun went down, I pulled her close to me.

_I would love to get to know more Rex_

I lifted her chin with my fingers gazing into her eyes.

_I would love to show you if you let me _

Our breaths hit each others noses.

_I'll let you show me Rex_

_Kiss me Cat_

_I'd love to thought you'd never ask_

That's how Rex Shaprio gets a girl to fall in love take notes kids.


	22. Chapter 22

**Milan's p o v**

_How do I look?_

I spun around damn I really was rocking these new hot neon pink jeans the latest by my favorite designer Rajait Kyle which I paired with a Grey t-shirt which read Teen across the chest in huge pink and purple letters.

"_You rock those clothes Milan_

_Holy shit you have no idea how bad I want to rip those clothes off you_

_I want those jeans_

I grinned smiling at Dillon who was watching me as I stood in front of the mirror.

_Don't be jealous bitch just cuz you can't rock this fabulousness_

Dillon laughed full heartily rolling his eyes.

_Ready to rock this ball game?_

_Hell yea ya know it!_

Grabbing my baseball hat which was Yankees of course we headed down to the field.

Dillon is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met he's the total opposite of what gay boys are perceived as.

He's about 6'2 132 lbs his black hair is shoulder length but gelled back except his bangs which hang over his eyes. He dresses in all black his voice is so deep he eats all the time bacon, fries, steaks, he hunts and he's a total game nerd. Plus he shreds so hard on the guitar.

Dillon also loves fashion doing his nails and makeup.

I met him online three years ago when I was fourteen and I was in total love with this boy band called Fallen Angels one of their members Anthony had his own youtube channel where he uploaded weekly videos of himself doing impressions pulling pranks and giving advice,

Anthony was just a few years older than us but he was out and he was proud and he was unafraid to show how fabulous he was no matter who hated on him.

Dillon defended him against a hater but he did it in a way that wasn't mean or rude he was funny about it all while making his point and basically telling the hater to get a life and an ego check.

So I commented back and we just started talking. We discovered we had so much in common even though we looked and acted nothing alike,

He's quite I'm loud he's shy I am not. He dresses in all black and loves heavy metal and goth bands.

I love Broadway and bubble gum pop and dressing in bright loud colors and dying my hair neon colors.

I lived in New York city he lived in Indiana but we manged to meet after a year at a con in NYC we clicked right away and this past year we transferred schools moving to La so we could attend Hollywood Arts. He's in the tech department I'm in drama.

We never even thought about dating because were so tight as friends we wouldn't want to mess it up but we cruise town every Friday night looking for those cute boys.

_Have you seen Cat lately?_

_No I'm trying to give her space _

_She needs to get out do her own thing_

_She needs more social experience she's too isolated_

_She's home schooled by mom she's only allowed out if either Me mom dad or Jade is with her and even than the furthest they can go is the park three blocks._

_Mom and dad are so scared she' s the heart of this family and her health is so fragile_

_I'm afraid she's been protected too much though she's losing her sense of adventures she won't take risks anymore like when we were kids._

_She's just not as happy and as bubbly and as full of life as she use to be_

_I can't tell if it's her heart getting worse or her spirits and she won't talk about it to anyone. _

_If she talks to Jade I don't know cause Jade won't talk to us._

_Well I hope this camp helps Milan she's a great kid_

_Thanks it's so beautiful here I don't know how it can't_

The baseball field was filling up so fast I took a deep breath hope I could mange to do this it's been years since I played ball or taught ball in any form.

Trying to take a visual count as the kids settled down I shock my head we needed at least ten kids on each team.

Dang there were already about 30 or 40 kids here all eager to play no matter how limited some of them were. One girl was throwing a ball up in the air and moving as quick as lighting to catch it in her glove her eyes following that ball no mater where it went.

She looked professional and I couldn't remember her name but I have seen her with Cat.

I looked around but didn't see my sister taking a deep breath I tried to get everyone to settle down.

_Okay everyone hello how is everyone today?_

We got a chorus of whistles and cheers fists pumps.

_Excellent glad to hear it so this is how we are going to work this thing_

_Will have four teams each team will have ten members two teams will play against each other_

_Duh_

Laughter rung out which calmed me down breathing out I tried to shake out my nerves.

_The two teams that are not playing will be helping out the teams that are playing _

_For the team mates who can't run we will have the players from the off teams running for them_

_For players who can't run while in the field we will have someone with you to help you_

_Same with hitting_

Dillon spoke up

_Remember we are here to have fun not criticize each other it's about working together as a team_

My heart skipped a few beats as I saw Cat come out of the woods in Rex's arms her face red her hair a total mess, very uncat like even when she's sick she's very Girly and always makes sure she looks good. 

_Some people are getting along too well_

Dillon's eyes followed mine as a low whistle rung out Rex's was a dead man.


	23. Chapter 23

**Tori's p o v**

Man I was so ready to smash that ball! I am so ready for this game!

_Your pretty good with that ball Tori_

_Thanks Robbie _

_You played long?_

_All my life I can't imagine not playing_

_Must be an awesome feeling_

_It is haven't you played?_

He shock his head looking nervous kicking the ground.

_I could never afford the physical energy it takes to play this or any sport_

_That's horrible Robbie _

_Yes I know it is believe me imagine having a sports loving twin who excels at everything_

_All I ever hear is Rex is amazing on the ball field he scores all the goals he has the best RBI he has the most touchdowns._

_Rex's is a god there's no goal he can't score_

_Aw Robbie I'm sure there's plenty that you have going that your parents brag about_

_Yea my breath or lack of it_

_Black humor again huh_

Trina's voice growled out throwing her hands up we shrugged.

_I'll help you no worries_

Jumping at the sound of Jade's voice as she cut in sneaking up behind Robbie. I swear I almost wet myself as she growled.

_No worries with any luck Robbie you'll hit yourself with the bat and knock yourself out_

_Save yourself the humiliation of sucking _

_That's not very nice Jade_

_Yeah and your point?_

_Her point is that you need to work on your communication and encouragement skills _

_Well here's some communication skills for you Beck butt out I encourage you_

_That was not what I meant _

_Again who cares not me_

_Anybody see Cat recently?_

Jade coughed she looked pale again but I wouldn't risk letting her know I was concerned I would probably get body hacked.

_Not for awhile_

_I hope she's okay_

Robbie's voice shrieked we both laughed it was cute how worried he was.

_I'm sure Cat's fine stop worrying about her nerd_

_I am not a nerd_

_Well your no jock_

_Tori are you going to let her talk to me like that?_

_Why not loser it's the truth _

Robbie's face fell as we jumped coming behind us were Rex and Cat holding hands she was beaming. I wanted to squeal and hug her but I did want to be insensitive to Robbie's feelings.

Jade however had no problem sharing her feelings.

_So you two made it official about time you've both been pinning for each other for weeks_

_We have not!_

_Uh yea ya have well anyway congrats!_

Jade hugged Cat who squealed kissing Jade's checks_. _Than Jade high fived Rex as she purred into his ears.

_Hurt her romeo and die.._


	24. Chapter 24

**Cat's p o v**

**#1 Run like the wind feel the air rip through my hair **

Checked off laying in the sun by the pool staring at this list what Rex had encouraged me to write down last week.

He thought if I wrote down my fears and wishes I would feel a little better or braver he told me that whenever he voiced his fears he found the courage to face them and when he faced them he conquered them.

Number one was officially done during the baseball game last week.

Water splashed on me as I soaked up the sun closing my eyes remembering.

Sweat was pouring down my back as I lifted the bat up again dang this aluminum was heavy.

_Up to bat currently is Catrina Cat Valentine batting for the Tigers who are trailing with a score of 15 to __13._

_Ball three_

_That's t__wo__ balls and two strikes ladies and gentleman_

Shut up was all I could think of my chest felt like someone was sitting on it my legs were so heavy I didn't think I would be able to stand anymore. Deep breath Cat do what Tori and Rex told you close your eyes take a deep breath and focus on what you want you want to smash that ball.

Open my eyes stare straight into the pitchers eyes I did just that Julian who's 12 smirked as he wound up and here goes nothing.

_Lets Go Cat you can do this I know you can focus!_

_Cat move closer to the plate move your hands further apart left up grip the bat tighter_

_Relax your knees breathe deep_

My head was spinning with Tori and Rex both yelling at me.

_Cat ignore them and just pay attention to the ball I know you got this_

I offered Robbie a smile as I took another breath maybe he was right just focus and forget all the noise that's what I did when I was on stage.

_Ball three_

Jade's voice rung out as I looked over and saw her Ali, Robbie, Tori, Kristen, Taylor, Jordan all standing and cheering.

_There was a little froggy standing on a log rooting for the other team he had no sense at all_

_He fell into the water and bumped his little head and when he came out this is what he said_

_Go Fight Mighty win go Cat Go go go mighty tigers_

_And do it all again!_

_Go fight win go mighty tigers go fight win!_

_Go Cat Go!_

Smack my eyes shut open three more centimeters as I saw and heard the ball smash against the bat and fly up deep into right field.

Suddenly Rex was on me lifting me up above his head like a press lift or as we call it in ballet a romeo and Juliet press lift the wind ripped through my hair as he ran the bases with me on his shoulders.

Lifting my hands up I felt like a queen as my name was called and my team mates screamed rounding home he set me down holding me close our bodies pressed as one leading me into a pas de deux across home base.

I've never been able to run bases before but Rex made it possible my breathing was fast and hard but I didn't feel sick or dizzy I felt...Amazing!

Throwing my arms around his neck I squealed in happiness.

Opening my eyes again I smiled seeing Taylor and Justin trying to duck each other in the pool normally I would be all over that but right now I was pretty content to lay here and soak up the sun.

Glancing over the rest of my list I wondered how I would do some of them.

#2 **Complete a dance class**

**#3 Write and produce a hit song**

**#4 Choreograph a dance to my own hit song**

**#5 Help Jade become more sociable**

**#6 Dye my hair a wacky color**

Rex thinks I should do a crazy neon red I suggested red velvet cause I love red velvet chocolate even though I'm strictly forbidden from eating it.

**#7 Fall in love**

**#8 Kiss a boy**

Check yes another one off the list. I smiled touching my lips thinking of him feeling him and how it felt when we kissed.

**#9 Make a difference **

So maybe number three and four were possible this summer if I worked hard enough we could win this competition.

Five was a question how was I suppose to get Jade to be nicer and interact with people?

I mean most kids either feared her or worshiped her which freaked her out. 

Than there was the issue of how horrible she felt when she wasn't sick she was sleeping. Number six might have to wait a few years or I wouldn't be the only one with a heart problem in my family. Mom would have a Corney if I dyed my hair dad would need a cabbage or electric shock.

_Cat_

I looked up to see Tori and Andre standing there with Beck and the twins.

_Hey Tori was happening?_

_We want to work on our project but we can't find Jade_

Beck's voice tried to sound casual but his squeak gave him away.

_She's probably asleep she had chemo yesterday_

_We texted her she didn't answer_

_I'll go find her Tori_

_Thanks Cat _

_I'll come with you Cat_

_Thanks Rex_

Rex took my hand as we walked to the cabin.

_So I finished my list Cat_

_Want to hear it?_

_Yes most def _

_Cool_

We took a deep breath why was he nervous? I wouldn't judge him or laugh? I think it's cute he's nervous it must mean he really likes me huh?

Snuggling close to him I tried to let him know silently that his fears were safe with me.

I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me.

**#1 Try to complete an acting class**

**#2 Kiss a pretty girl for the right reasons**

_I surpassed myself on that one I didn't just find a pretty girl Catrina I kissed the most beautiful one_

Blushing as I giggled I snuggled closer.

**#3 Make friends with all kinds of kids**

**#4 Learn as much as possible and have fun**

**#5 Do some normal non crazy things**

_What do you mean?_

_I mean that usually when I date I bring my girls to amusement parks or roller rinks or Rodeos _

_For once I want to take a beautiful girl hold her hand look her in the eyes over a romantic boat ride or a picnic as we share strawberries and kisses._

**#6 Learn to swim**

Taking his face into my hands kissing him long and passionate.

_I'll help you Rex I am an excellent swimmer it's the one sport my parents deem safe _

_It's a date babe_

_Can't wait_

**#7 Try to be nicer to Robbie**

**#8 Fall in love**

**#9 Write a love song**

**#10 Get over my public speaking fear and stage fright**

**#11 Make love to a beautiful girl but only with someone I love**

I blushed as he squeezed my hand I never thought about that. I mean how do you even make love to someone? What's it mean?

Rex didn't judge me I mean he must of seen my confused face instead he just pulled me close and lifted my chin kissing me as Trina gagged rolling her eyes fighting with Freddie ignoring them I closed my eyes and sank my lips into Rex's.


	25. Chapter 25

**Cat's p o v**

**#1 Run like the wind feel the air rip through my hair **

Checked off laying in the sun by the pool staring at this list what Rex had encouraged me to write down last week.

He thought if I wrote down my fears and wishes I would feel a little better or braver he told me that whenever he voiced his fears he found the courage to face them and when he faced them he conquered them.

Number one was officially done during the baseball game last week.

Water splashed on me as I soaked up the sun closing my eyes remembering.

Sweat was pouring down my back as I lifted the bat up again dang this aluminum was heavy.

_Up to bat currently is Catrina Cat Valentine batting for the Tigers who are trailing with a score of 15 to __13._

_Ball three_

_That's t__wo__ balls and two strikes ladies and gentleman_

Shut up was all I could think of my chest felt like someone was sitting on it my legs were so heavy I didn't think I would be able to stand anymore. Deep breath Cat do what Tori and Rex told you close your eyes take a deep breath and focus on what you want you want to smash that ball.

Open my eyes stare straight into the pitchers eyes I did just that Julian who's 12 smirked as he wound up and here goes nothing.

_Lets Go Cat you can do this I know you can focus!_

_Cat move closer to the plate move your hands further apart left up grip the bat tighter_

_Relax your knees breathe deep_

My head was spinning with Tori and Rex both yelling at me.

_Cat ignore them and just pay attention to the ball I know you got this_

I offered Robbie a smile as I took another breath maybe he was right just focus and forget all the noise that's what I did when I was on stage.

_Ball three_

Jade's voice rung out as I looked over and saw her Ali, Robbie, Tori, Kristen, Taylor, Jordan all standing and cheering.

_There was a little froggy standing on a log rooting for the other team he had no sense at all_

_He fell into the water and bumped his little head and when he came out this is what he said_

_Go Fight Mighty win go Cat Go go go mighty tigers_

_And do it all again!_

_Go fight win go mighty tigers go fight win!_

_Go Cat Go!_

Smack my eyes shut open three more centimeters as I saw and heard the ball smash against the bat and fly up deep into right field.

Suddenly Rex was on me lifting me up above his head like a press lift or as we call it in ballet a romeo and Juliet press lift the wind ripped through my hair as he ran the bases with me on his shoulders.

Lifting my hands up I felt like a queen as my name was called and my team mates screamed rounding home he set me down holding me close our bodies pressed as one leading me into a pas de deux across home base.

I've never been able to run bases before but Rex made it possible my breathing was fast and hard but I didn't feel sick or dizzy I felt...Amazing!

Throwing my arms around his neck I squealed in happiness.

Opening my eyes again I smiled seeing Taylor and Justin trying to duck each other in the pool normally I would be all over that but right now I was pretty content to lay here and soak up the sun.

Glancing over the rest of my list I wondered how I would do some of them.

#2 **Complete a dance class**

**#3 Write and produce a hit song**

**#4 Choreograph a dance to my own hit song**

**#5 Help Jade become more sociable**

**#6 Dye my hair a wacky color**

Rex thinks I should do a crazy neon red I suggested red velvet cause I love red velvet chocolate even though I'm strictly forbidden from eating it.

**#7 Fall in love**

**#8 Kiss a boy**

Check yes another one off the list. I smiled touching my lips thinking of him feeling him and how it felt when we kissed.

**#9 Make a difference **

So maybe number three and four were possible this summer if I worked hard enough we could win this competition.

Five was a question how was I suppose to get Jade to be nicer and interact with people?

I mean most kids either feared her or worshiped her which freaked her out. 

Than there was the issue of how horrible she felt when she wasn't sick she was sleeping. Number six might have to wait a few years or I wouldn't be the only one with a heart problem in my family. Mom would have a Corney if I dyed my hair dad would need a cabbage or electric shock.

_Cat_

I looked up to see Tori and Andre standing there with Beck and the twins.

_Hey Tori was happening?_

_We want to work on our project but we can't find Jade_

Beck's voice tried to sound casual but his squeak gave him away.

_She's probably asleep she had chemo yesterday_

_We texted her she didn't answer_

_I'll go find her Tori_

_Thanks Cat _

_I'll come with you Cat_

_Thanks Rex_

Rex took my hand as we walked to the cabin.

_So I finished my list Cat_

_Want to hear it?_

_Yes most def _

_Cool_

We took a deep breath why was he nervous? I wouldn't judge him or laugh? I think it's cute he's nervous it must mean he really likes me huh?

Snuggling close to him I tried to let him know silently that his fears were safe with me.

I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me.

**#1 Try to complete an acting class**

**#2 Kiss a pretty girl for the right reasons**

_I surpassed myself on that one I didn't just find a pretty girl Catrina I kissed the most beautiful one_

Blushing as I giggled I snuggled closer.

**#3 Make friends with all kinds of kids**

**#4 Learn as much as possible and have fun**

**#5 Do some normal non crazy things**

_What do you mean?_

_I mean that usually when I date I bring my girls to amusement parks or roller rinks or Rodeos _

_For once I want to take a beautiful girl hold her hand look her in the eyes over a romantic boat ride or a picnic as we share strawberries and kisses._

**#6 Learn to swim**

Taking his face into my hands kissing him long and passionate.

_I'll help you Rex I am an excellent swimmer it's the one sport my parents deem safe _

_It's a date babe_

_Can't wait_

**#7 Try to be nicer to Robbie**

**#8 Fall in love**

**#9 Write a love song**

**#10 Get over my public speaking fear and stage fright**

**#11 Make love to a beautiful girl but only with someone I love**

I blushed as he squeezed my hand I never thought about that. I mean how do you even make love to someone? What's it mean?

Rex didn't judge me I mean he must of seen my confused face instead he just pulled me close and lifted my chin kissing me as Trina gagged rolling her eyes fighting with Freddie ignoring them I closed my eyes and sank my lips into Rex's.


	26. Chapter 26

**Trina's p o v**

_When I created this camp Trina it wasn't just to help sick kids it was to help their whole family_

_I get it being a sister isn't easy at anytime especially when someone in the family is sick you have to bare the soul responsibility your parents expect so much more than a normal girl and it's overwhelming at times._

She really seemed to get me looking at her as we walked to where ever she was leading me. Ali moved closer and put her arms around me.

_Trina people will make a lot of judgments against you when your in the spotlight_

_People think that because I am a pop star I have a perfect life it's not actually true I mean yes I have a great life but being sick is horrible I spent so much time alone in the hospital scared that I learned quickly to depend on myself._

_It came in handy not just in the industry but in being a sibling it wasn't just me that my illness affected everyone of my sisters and brothers were affected my sisters had to give up time with their music and modeling careers._

_You know my sister Ava I'm sure she's as famous as me_

_Yeah who doesn't know Ava and Lorcan the two famous shaking and snowboarding duo_

_I mean if you don't follow the sports you know them from their MTV where they play over extracted versions of themselves._

_Yes Trina but how much do you know about their real private lives?_

_Not much just what was printed in the magazines and saw in interviews_

_So I bet you didn't know that Ava and my other sister Siobhan had to split their time just to make sure someone was with me at all times._

_Mom was always away filming one movie after another or off promoting it so when we were kids we all made a pact that we would be there for each other._

_Siobhan lives in Paris where she's a model she has three kids and a husband who is one of the top fashion designers but also has a bad drinking problem and Ava and Lorcan lived in Russia where they were training but every week Shiv and Ava took turns one week Ava would fly in to La to be with me while I went for tests and treatments the other week Shiv would be there they gave up so much time and work just to care for me. Siobhan's kids has to be uprooted as well so their lives were drastically effected._

_Just when I got better Beacon would became sick he has Aplastic Anemia. I had to step up to take care of Soarise our youngest Dad wasn't around he was off in whatever country or city he was producing his newest project._

_Being sick was hard but watching my brother suffering was worse. In so many ways I felt helpless and scared._

_When I think about all the times in my life no matter how hard something was I always had my family to fall back on._

_When we were kids Trina we use to have this special place in Ireland where we could go it was on our family's land we called it Iceland Hills because well winters in Ireland were brutal and this hill which overlooked almost all of Dublin was steep and grassy and beautiful but it got covered in ice and took months to thaw._

_We use to go up there all the time we would swing from the tree swing and hang from the vine we spent hours and hours playing and dreaming, it's there Shiv taught us all how to Irish step dance and where Cathal first learned how to play the guitar he was only eight than but it was where he taught me._

_We caught fireflies Aine taught me and Rian how to kiss it's where we went to study it was so peaceful I would play the flute or the fiddle as she did homework._

_She's a lawyer now for the rich and famous I never get to see her now, Cathal he's living in France he's a model and a writer, if I see him once a year it's amazing._

_Lorcan and Ava live in London and Russia it's been two years since I saw them, Shone he lives in La but we had a bitter fight three years ago he hasn't talked to me since._

She got quite I wondered what the fight was about but how do you ask a question like that?

_What got me was how stupid the fight was about_

_I was sick again yet I wasn't letting it stop me even though I was on chemo and could barely stand I was still preforming at the AMA's._

_I had to I mean I was nominated and the fans had voted so hard I couldn't let them down that's what this is all about the fans._

_Shone was so set that he was going to win this year with his group Amnesia that when Nill won for the third year in a row he was pissed._

_He called me out on stage saying all these awful things about how I was pitied and that's why I won it wasn't because I was talented._

_It hurt so bad to know he was against me I hadn't done anything to deserve it but he was jealous and he let jealously and money go to his head._

_Now the damage is done my fans are against his fans our family is divided and nothing is ever going to be the same,_

_He won't forgive Ava for giving me her bone marrow which basically saved my life two years ago Lorcan won't forgive him for attacking me._

_Our parents won't even speak his name and it kills me cause he's their child and they love him and I know it hurts them._

_There's nothing I can do though and Soarise is caught up in this drama I wish I could protect her._

_That's awful_

My heart broke for her as I thought about all the times Tori and I had when we were younger one time came to mind before any other I was ten and she was eight she had been wanting to go to the movies but I wanted to go ice shaking and mom let her choice it was her birthday and she chose to do what I wanted all so I could impress a boy I liked.

Well I sucked at ice shaking and I kept trying to save face and falling but she made it seem like it was an act she took my hands and lifted me up spinning me around as she belted out some song.

The boy I was trying to impress thought it was so awesome I spent time with my little sister.

We ended up dating but he was a dud.

When I think about it Tori isn't a horrible kid she's pretty amazing.

_I'm not saying I am perfect Trina neither are you neither is Tori but she's your sister and you love her I know it but sometimes being the healthy one well it can kind of suck it's like your not allowed to have feelings or a life._

_That's why your here I want you to know you matter Trina your hopes dreams fears their just as important as Tori's and I know your parents feel that way but sometimes it's hard to show you when their concerned about her health about money it's not easy being an adult._

_Sometimes we forget what it's like to be young to be afraid and how young people deal._

We reached a building and went inside I was blown away it was her private studio.

She opened the door and let me inside. I was speechless it was huge and custom designed Freddie was sitting with Rian and Liam.

_To prove to you I care about you and not just Tori I want you to have a taste of what life can be if you keep chasing your dreams._

_Go ahead and pick up that book there_

She pointed to a notebook which I did a little nervous sitting down not looking at Freddie who was at the control board talking with Rian as they worked on an intro.

I was beyond shocked she was showing me her private lyrics to an unreleased song.

_What do you think Trina? Does it have the makings of a hit?_

_Oh my god this is excellent _

_Thanks darling so what do you think?_

_I think this will be all over the radio_

_Think you can handle laying down a verse?_

_Me?_

My voice rose above the normal octaves as my eyes widened in shock pointing to myself she nodded in agreement as she motioned for the booth.

I could never live up to this but with all these eyes on me I wasn't backing down fake it Trina you have the skills to make this happen.

_Don't be nervous we all started somewhere no one is judging you here were all here to help you_

_Okay_

I hadn't been in a real studio before this was amazing but I needed to focus so she would see I was in this for real.

_Make the lyrics your own Trina_

_Feel me?_

_Yea I can do this drop that beat nerd boy_

_Name's Freddie Trina remember that cause it will be in lights soon enough_

_Sorry got nervous Freddie drop dat beat_

Deep breath and relax..

_Listen up and prepare for the hits to drop_

_Don't think I got what it takes to take this beat and make ya move your feet_

_Picture this I am the goddess this is my village_

_You are my servants and I own ya say I don't have what it takes yet I have ya dropping $$ on my latest hit_

_Name's Trina but you can call me the queen I am everything little girls wishes they could grow up to be_

_Bow down and worship me _

_I am the future of R/B I am pop's reigning queen_

_I Got this_

_Let go of your fears and wash away those doubts cuz I turn my back on negative_

_No more village divided we come together to be as one it takes a village to move a mountain_

_I am the queen of this village_

_Bow down it's okay to worship me_

Ali nodded as I opened my eyes she motioned for me to come out.

_You have talent Trina but you are by no means ready to go out there you need work and guidance I know you can do it if you work hard enough but your not goddess ready yet._

_To be a goddess you need to be able to have compassion and you need to open your heart to see there's a whole big world out there that needs TLC and attention._

_You can do this by going out there and showing those girls an amazing summer and by starting with owning Jade an apology._

_Wait I thought that it was a trick_

_No I twisted the words and got you to confess but there was no lies Jade did get a hold of a flask in your bag and she drank it and the combination of the Alcohol and her meds made her extremely sick she's in the clinic it was a close call._

_She is your responsibility Trina and you weren't doing your job you owe her an apology and her family._

_Prove you want this chance change your attitude and start thinking about others and maybe I will believe your ready for this._

_It's your choice Trina make it wisely._


	27. Chapter 27

**Trina's p o v**

_When I created this camp Trina it wasn't just to help sick kids it was to help their whole family_

_I get it being a sister isn't easy at anytime especially when someone in the family is sick you have to bare the soul responsibility your parents expect so much more than a normal girl and it's overwhelming at times._

She really seemed to get me looking at her as we walked to where ever she was leading me. Ali moved closer and put her arms around me.

_Trina people will make a lot of judgments against you when your in the spotlight_

_People think that because I am a pop star I have a perfect life it's not actually true I mean yes I have a great life but being sick is horrible I spent so much time alone in the hospital scared that I learned quickly to depend on myself._

_It came in handy not just in the industry but in being a sibling it wasn't just me that my illness affected everyone of my sisters and brothers were affected my sisters had to give up time with their music and modeling careers._

_You know my sister Ava I'm sure she's as famous as me_

_Yeah who doesn't know Ava and Lorcan the two famous shaking and snowboarding duo_

_I mean if you don't follow the sports you know them from their MTV where they play over extracted versions of themselves._

_Yes Trina but how much do you know about their real private lives?_

_Not much just what was printed in the magazines and saw in interviews_

_So I bet you didn't know that Ava and my other sister Siobhan had to split their time just to make sure someone was with me at all times._

_Mom was always away filming one movie after another or off promoting it so when we were kids we all made a pact that we would be there for each other._

_Siobhan lives in Paris where she's a model she has three kids and a husband who is one of the top fashion designers but also has a bad drinking problem and Ava and Lorcan lived in Russia where they were training but every week Shiv and Ava took turns one week Ava would fly in to La to be with me while I went for tests and treatments the other week Shiv would be there they gave up so much time and work just to care for me. Siobhan's kids has to be uprooted as well so their lives were drastically effected._

_Just when I got better Beacon would became sick he has Aplastic Anemia. I had to step up to take care of Soarise our youngest Dad wasn't around he was off in whatever country or city he was producing his newest project._

_Being sick was hard but watching my brother suffering was worse. In so many ways I felt helpless and scared._

_When I think about all the times in my life no matter how hard something was I always had my family to fall back on._

_When we were kids Trina we use to have this special place in Ireland where we could go it was on our family's land we called it Iceland Hills because well winters in Ireland were brutal and this hill which overlooked almost all of Dublin was steep and grassy and beautiful but it got covered in ice and took months to thaw._

_We use to go up there all the time we would swing from the tree swing and hang from the vine we spent hours and hours playing and dreaming, it's there Shiv taught us all how to Irish step dance and where Cathal first learned how to play the guitar he was only eight than but it was where he taught me._

_We caught fireflies Aine taught me and Rian how to kiss it's where we went to study it was so peaceful I would play the flute or the fiddle as she did homework._

_She's a lawyer now for the rich and famous I never get to see her now, Cathal he's living in France he's a model and a writer, if I see him once a year it's amazing._

_Lorcan and Ava live in London and Russia it's been two years since I saw them, Shone he lives in La but we had a bitter fight three years ago he hasn't talked to me since._

She got quite I wondered what the fight was about but how do you ask a question like that?

_What got me was how stupid the fight was about_

_I was sick again yet I wasn't letting it stop me even though I was on chemo and could barely stand I was still preforming at the AMA's._

_I had to I mean I was nominated and the fans had voted so hard I couldn't let them down that's what this is all about the fans._

_Shone was so set that he was going to win this year with his group Amnesia that when Nill won for the third year in a row he was pissed._

_He called me out on stage saying all these awful things about how I was pitied and that's why I won it wasn't because I was talented._

_It hurt so bad to know he was against me I hadn't done anything to deserve it but he was jealous and he let jealously and money go to his head._

_Now the damage is done my fans are against his fans our family is divided and nothing is ever going to be the same,_

_He won't forgive Ava for giving me her bone marrow which basically saved my life two years ago Lorcan won't forgive him for attacking me._

_Our parents won't even speak his name and it kills me cause he's their child and they love him and I know it hurts them._

_There's nothing I can do though and Soarise is caught up in this drama I wish I could protect her._

_That's awful_

My heart broke for her as I thought about all the times Tori and I had when we were younger one time came to mind before any other I was ten and she was eight she had been wanting to go to the movies but I wanted to go ice shaking and mom let her choice it was her birthday and she chose to do what I wanted all so I could impress a boy I liked.

Well I sucked at ice shaking and I kept trying to save face and falling but she made it seem like it was an act she took my hands and lifted me up spinning me around as she belted out some song.

The boy I was trying to impress thought it was so awesome I spent time with my little sister.

We ended up dating but he was a dud.

When I think about it Tori isn't a horrible kid she's pretty amazing.

_I'm not saying I am perfect Trina neither are you neither is Tori but she's your sister and you love her I know it but sometimes being the healthy one well it can kind of suck it's like your not allowed to have feelings or a life._

_That's why your here I want you to know you matter Trina your hopes dreams fears their just as important as Tori's and I know your parents feel that way but sometimes it's hard to show you when their concerned about her health about money it's not easy being an adult._

_Sometimes we forget what it's like to be young to be afraid and how young people deal._

We reached a building and went inside I was blown away it was her private studio.

She opened the door and let me inside. I was speechless it was huge and custom designed Freddie was sitting with Rian and Liam.

_To prove to you I care about you and not just Tori I want you to have a taste of what life can be if you keep chasing your dreams._

_Go ahead and pick up that book there_

She pointed to a notebook which I did a little nervous sitting down not looking at Freddie who was at the control board talking with Rian as they worked on an intro.

I was beyond shocked she was showing me her private lyrics to an unreleased song.

_What do you think Trina? Does it have the makings of a hit?_

_Oh my god this is excellent _

_Thanks darling so what do you think?_

_I think this will be all over the radio_

_Think you can handle laying down a verse?_

_Me?_

My voice rose above the normal octaves as my eyes widened in shock pointing to myself she nodded in agreement as she motioned for the booth.

I could never live up to this but with all these eyes on me I wasn't backing down fake it Trina you have the skills to make this happen.

_Don't be nervous we all started somewhere no one is judging you here were all here to help you_

_Okay_

I hadn't been in a real studio before this was amazing but I needed to focus so she would see I was in this for real.

_Make the lyrics your own Trina_

_Feel me?_

_Yea I can do this drop that beat nerd boy_

_Name's Freddie Trina remember that cause it will be in lights soon enough_

_Sorry got nervous Freddie drop dat beat_

Deep breath and relax..

_Listen up and prepare for the hits to drop_

_Don't think I got what it takes to take this beat and make ya move your feet_

_Picture this I am the goddess this is my village_

_You are my servants and I own ya say I don't have what it takes yet I have ya dropping $$ on my latest hit_

_Name's Trina but you can call me the queen I am everything little girls wishes they could grow up to be_

_Bow down and worship me _

_I am the future of R/B I am pop's reigning queen_

_I Got this_

_Let go of your fears and wash away those doubts cuz I turn my back on negative_

_No more village divided we come together to be as one it takes a village to move a mountain_

_I am the queen of this village_

_Bow down it's okay to worship me_

Ali nodded as I opened my eyes she motioned for me to come out.

_You have talent Trina but you are by no means ready to go out there you need work and guidance I know you can do it if you work hard enough but your not goddess ready yet._

_To be a goddess you need to be able to have compassion and you need to open your heart to see there's a whole big world out there that needs TLC and attention._

_You can do this by going out there and showing those girls an amazing summer and by starting with owning Jade an apology._

_Wait I thought that it was a trick_

_No I twisted the words and got you to confess but there was no lies Jade did get a hold of a flask in your bag and she drank it and the combination of the Alcohol and her meds made her extremely sick she's in the clinic it was a close call._

_She is your responsibility Trina and you weren't doing your job you owe her an apology and her family._

_Prove you want this chance change your attitude and start thinking about others and maybe I will believe your ready for this._

_It's your choice Trina make it wisely._


	28. Chapter 28

**Cat's p o v**

_We couldn't get a hold of your parent's Jade_

_No shock there their probably off fighting getting arrested somewhere_

_We did however get a hold of your parents Cat since their listed as Jade's next emergency contact_

_What did they say?_

I held Jade's hand tighter she was barely able to lift her head off the pillow running my hand over her pale face I couldn't get over how pale she was, cuddling by her I was careful not to hit the oxygen she was attached to.

I know how awful it is to fight for air and my heart broke for her.

_They said it was up to Milan if he wanted them to come down or if he felt he could handle it._

I turned to my brother who thanked Riley asking for a few minutes alone with us, Robbie squeezed my shoulder and nodded towards Andre, Tori, Beck, going to the waiting room. Rex was off looking for Trina.

Sitting down next to me Milan took Jade's hand looking into her eyes I could see he had been crying but was trying to fake like he wasn't.

_Sweetheart why just answer me that why would you do it?_

_Talk to me answer me truthfully or I am calling mom and dad and I am sure they will not be happy _

_I just wanted the pain to stop Milan I am so sick of hurting and being sick_

_I can't stop vomiting when I do it comes out the other way when it doesn't I can't go for days and the gas kills me._

_You have no idea what cancer is like no one understands_

_Look around Jade everyone here understands what it's like to be sick_

_That's what this camp is all about is making friends with kids who understand your life your fears and who share the same dreams._

_Stop being so guarded and stubborn and open yourself up_

_Why would you think booze would solve your issues?_

_It worked for Trina and for my mom it had to work for me_

_I didn't know it would effect my meds _

_No one ever told me that _

_Didn't you read the labels?_

_No _

_Why not Jade it's important_

_I'm 12 it's not my job to know these things_

Milan sighed

_Your right Jade it's not that's why were here me and Trina and Freddie and we failed you_

_Promise me from now on you'll talk to one of us_

_Yes I will I don't want this to happen again_

_Good we don't want to lose you babe_

_I think we need to talk to Ali about replacing Trina_

_Get some rest for now..._

As Milan rose hugging me the door opened and in walked Trina and Ali. Milan's face changed I grabbed his arm so he wouldn't hit her not that he's ever hit a girl before but he was super mad and he's very protective.

_Jade I am so sorry it was irresponsible of me and wrong to bring Alcohol into the room_

_I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I hope you will give me another chance I know I need to change and I want to help you all have a great summer._

_I need to start by being open with you all and being honest_

_I hope you'll let me do that_

Jade took off her oxygen and looked Trina straight into the eyes.

_You suck as a counselor _

We all started laughing as she shock her head.

_We all deserve second chances Jade just like you deserve to have one to be trusted again to not do something like this, Trina deserves one to prove she can be in charge._

_Thanks Ali_

_Don't thank me completely I don't feel comfortable having you watch them alone so we will make some changes. _

_Will be moving all of you into a suit upstairs combining two suits one for you girls one for Freddie's boys._

_Freddie will be helping you from now on._

_You have to learn to make it work._

Wait so Robbie, Rex and I in the same suit? Oh this could be interesting. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Cat's p o v**

_This movie has to be awesome_

_I mean like we fro reals has to kick some butt _

_Yes Andre I think that's what all of us want to happen_

_So how do we make a kick butt movie?_

_First we need a real plot and a hot song with a hot beat _

_I thought we had a plot?_

_We did Robbie until I did some scooping and checked out the competition_

_Is it bad?_

_Yea man we have some real talent to go against so we need to amp this beat up _

_So what do you suggest Andre?_

_Well I like the idea of two rivals and bullies_

_How do we incorporate that is the question?_

_I have a suggestion_

_Let's hear it Rex_

_Cat has an amazing song she wrote_

I gasped from where I was laying on the floor in Jade's arms as she sat against the couch Rex shrugged.

_What it's true that song was amazing and it deserves to be heard_

_Okay let's hear it _

_Oh I don't know_

_I don't think it's ready yet_

_Are you crazy girl of course it is_

_Yea Cat you have an amazing voice don't be afraid go on play it_

_Thanks Rex and Jade are you sure?_

_Yea it's just us will help you and will correct anything that needs work _

_No judgment here only love right guys?_

_Correct Trina_

I felt nervous all the same but taking a deep breath I went over to the piano. Everyone was quite as I sung growing more confident as I sang I saw Andre swaying to my piano and Jade and Tori bouncing their heads and waving their hands up in the air to my lyrics.

_That was amazing Cat _

_Really Guys?_

_Yes Baby Girl that was dope_

_So any ideas guys?_

_Yea we def need to use that song_

_Agreed Robbie I'll help Cat work a little on the beat and will make it beyond dope_

_That chorus calls for a huge dance number_

_I feel ya Beck_

_I have an idea_

_Let's hear it Jade_

_I think it should tell a story about a pop star who has to deal with a past that's haunting her_

_I like it_

_We can have a dance troupe playing the bullies that tried to hold her down wearing masks kind of like the alien idea._

_We can have scenes to reflect the song like the day in church where she falls in love we can flash from her being on stage having all the fans screaming for her feeling like she's on top of the world._

_Than having the audience go black _

_Oh black roses can be falling dripping in blood_

_um okay Jade sure_

_We can have a gun shot ring out as we flash back to when her hearts broken and the bullies start tormenting her._

_Than we can have a huge dance number as she rises above all the dancers _

_She should be laced in black mesh and chains holding her down_

_um okay Jade_

_Wait as she breaks free form the bullies the chains come off and the black turns into sparkles and pink lace._

_I like it maybe not lace but sequins_

_Yes Milan we know you love Sequins_

_I do! But I was thinking it won't be as risqué_

_Yes that may be true it is a kids camp _

_What should the dance number be?_

_Everything combine every style_

_Milan can you be in charge of that?_

_YESSS!_

_Okay your excited we get it_

_Great we need to get started with this Milan do you need help with the chero?_

_I'll be fine for now I can ask Ali or Riley or Rian, Montana and Trina who will help once I get in ironed out I will need a few people to test it out._

_Jade, Rex, Andre you'll do_

_Awesome_

_Robbie work on the set and scenes_

_Cat help Robbie it's your song you have the vision_

_Yes!_

_Robbie chill_

_Yeah dude she's my girlfriend_

_For now I'll win her over _

_Keep dreaming dude _

_I do every night and believe me she'll see brains wins over brawns any day_

_Jade And Beck I want you to round up any kids not in the competition who ever can dance any style we need them._

_Andre help Cat with the song it just needs to be fine toned it's pretty solid as is_

_Tori I hate to be a buzz kill but you have dialysis _

_Great so now you care about my health_

_Tori be have _

_I am uh it's just so annoying all these years you didn't care one lick and now when I am having fun_

_Tori let's go you can gripe all the way over there.._

_Oh I will _

_I know you will_

_Jade your due in an hour for your pills_

_Stop reminding me _

_I can't it's kind of my job_

_I liked you better before when you didn't care_

_I second that _

_Stop agreeing with me Vega_

_We wish we could_

_Jinx you owe me a coke_

Trina and Tori both said wait why did they both answer to Vega? What did Tori mean by now she started caring after all these years?

I was so confused.

_You can't drink coke_

_Oh so now you remember!_

_I always remembered Tori how could I ever forget?_

_I love coke!_

_So did I!_

The door swooshed behind them as their voices echoed down the hall.

_Alright let's get started but remember we can have fun and take breaks were here to have a vacation but always let one of us know where you are going._

_Okay?_

_Okay! Let's do this!_

We threw our hands together like a baseball team and chanted..

_1..2..3...Legacy!_


	30. Chapter 30

**Tori' **

There was nothing more boring than sitting here for hours attached to machines while my blood drained from my body swirled around the machine being cleaned. The machines were attached to my Av Fistula in my right arm which is a surgical modified blood vessel created to connect an artery to a vein.

Two needles are inserted into the fistula taped down one is slowly removing my blood filtering through the machine. Which act as membranes who filter the waste from the blood with a special fluid called dialysate the dirty blood is filtered out while the good blood is put back in my body but the whole ordeal takes up to four hours every time and I must go three times a week.

Dialysis is a real pain but without it I would become deathly sick.

I guess I should be use to it I mean I have been on dialysis for two years now.

I was born normal I grew up playing rough with the boys baseball, soccer and hockey and basketball. I loved sports. I was a good student getting honor roll while Trina was always too busy socializing to study. Captain of the bio-med club president of the debate club and chest club.

I took dance lessons after school played on our league softball team and was a girl scout. Than when I was nine everything changed.

I was sunbathing with Alex and fell asleep when I woke up I had a strange rash on my neck and down my side. At first I didn't think much about it I mean I was prone to sunburn.

It was hot as heck over a 100 and all week I was out in the sun playing ball picking up litter with the scouts. By the end of the week I started to notice how tired I was and I seem to get a weird cold I couldn't shake and that burn wasn't going away in fact it had stayed stronger in the shape of a butterfly.

Mom took me to a few doctors but they all told me it was just stress and anxiety so I kept going even though I couldn't shake this tiredness. She tried getting me therapy but that didn't work, two months after the last doctor appointment I passed out on the ball field.

After days of testing in the hospital I was officially diagnosed with Lupus none of us had ever heard of this disease before but we quickly became schooled in it.

I learned that Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can damage any part of my body. Skin joints organs, and it's chronic meaning I will have it for life and there's no cure.

A normal immune system produces proteins called antibodies that protect our body from invaders.

Autoimmune means my system can't tell the difference between foreign invaders and normal healthy tissue and creates auto-antibodies that attack and destroy healthy tissues.

This causes inflammation pain and sometimes damage to parts of my body in my case it was my kidneys.

What that means is my kidneys can no longer correct the amount of fluid I have inside instead of letting it out my body maintains it. My blood pressure is higher than a normal persons my legs feet ankles and hands usually swell up.

My whole body aches sometimes I run fevers and have red rashes on my face and neck.

People take for granted how important kidneys are they help us maintain correct body fluids eliminate waste and toxic substances they regulate the hormones that control our blood pressure and blood volume.

My kidney function is only 13 percent I was placed on the national organ donation list but it's a long list and the sicker you are the faster you may receive an organ. Since I am doing well on dialysis I am low on the list.

Nothing in my life is normal any more I have to follow a low protein diet yet maintain an average weight not easy when I am so restricted on my food and fluid intake. I can only have around 15,000 fluids a day which averages to around 320 at breakfast 240 at lunch, dinner.

I have to follow a no salt low fat potassium phosphorous diet because I am so limited I need extra calcium and vitamin D.

I am on phosphates binders which help control my phosphorous levels I am treated for anemia. I bleed and bruise very easily now which makes sports dangerous but I won't quit. I take iron pills everyday and have a shot called erthropoietin, plus I need blood transfusions every month.

_Tori how are you feeling?_

_Tired Nurse Benson _

_Any nausea?_

_No not this time but it's early_

_Yes it is baby doll just keep calm would you like a book or a game pad?_

_No I'm okay I may work on some lyrics in a little bit think I'll rest for awhile_

_Tori _

_Hey Trina_

_Want me to stay with you?_

_No I'm okay you should make sure Jade comes down I think she's going to try to skip _

_She knows better_

_Yea well sometimes it doesn't matter how much you know you just get sick of being sick_

_I'll go if your sure_

_Yea I am I'm use to doing things on my own_

She looked at me seeming to be unsure it took everything I had not to roll my eyes she may fool a lot of people but I know her too well she didn't change she still hates being here she still wants to be with that loser Jordan, if she only knew what I knew.

She wouldn't be so smug.

_I'm fine go take care of Jade_

_What if you get sick?_

_The nurses will help it's their job and their good at it_

_You won't get lonely?_

_Nah man I got her covered_

_Yea Andre and I are here!_

_Cat Andre oh my god what's up?_

_Your blood pressure _

Cat giggled looking at the machine I smiled and laughed a little Andre shock his head as he positioned his keyboard.

_Ready to work on some jams?_

_Yes most def where's Beck and Jade?_

_Chasing down dancers literately_

I giggled with Cat imaging Jade chasing kids down the hill with her scissors threating them I wish I could see it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Beck's p o v**

_Yo what's up my man? _

_You seem kind of down_

Andre stopped playing the keyboard and came over to my bed where I was laying down flipping through a magazine.

_You ever meet someone and just think man she's the one_

_Uh huh I knew it man you digging that Jade girl aren't you?_

_No man I didn't say it was Jade_

_You didn't have to your eyes are doing it all_

_Seriously?_

_Yea man seriously _

Sighing I shock my head.

_I must be pathetic I mean she hates me and I can't stop thinking about her_

_No man you ain't pathetic your just in love_

_What in love? There's no love man I'm thirteen _

_Alright alright man no need to get testy so your in like_

_Yea that sounds right I like her she hates me_

_Who could hate you man? Your one of the coolest guys I know_

_I mean not that I know a lot of cool guys_

_Aw thanks Robbie I think_

_But I think Jade could hate Santa Clause _

_Um you know Santa ain't_

_Say what Rex?_

_See Rex I told you Santa was real he's been lying to me for years telling me Santa was a made up myth _

_He is made up nerd grownups make him up to fool dorky little saps like yourself_

_Mom and dad wouldn't lie!_

_Yea they do just like they told you that your cute and funny_

_Hey!_

_Yo dudes chill man your brothers not enemies _

_Yea this fighting isn't helping me figure out how to get Jade to like me_

_That's easy man you want to get a girl to like you you have to get to know what the girl likes_

_Yea and how do I do that sherlock the girl is wound tighter than the queen of England_

_Easy ask her Bff who knows a sixth grade girl better than her bff?_

_True but how do we get Cat to talk_

_I wasn't talking about Cat_

_Well you said no one knows a sixth grade girl better than her bff_

_Yea but I wasn't taking about her human bff_

_Wait so who were you talking about_

_Who knows a _

_Not that again ah~_

_What Andre is trying to say is saying is that you want to know a girl _

_Look in her diary _

_Jade keeps a diary?_

_Don't all girls?_

_Yea but most girls aren't Jade_

_Jade is scary and she's tough she doesn't.._

_What have feelings? All girls have feelings Robbie_

_Jade is no expectation_

_So how do we find out the password I mean she's a twenty century girl which means her diary is probably on her laptop._

_Now that's when her bff comes in handy_

_Yea but how_

_Follow along Robbie now Rex is talking about Cat_

_Oh I get it but will Cat Give us that information I mean bff's stick together_

_She'll give me that information_

I watched as Robbie's expression hardened looking sad.

_Give me ten to shower and I'll get what you need no worries man_

_Thanks Rex _

_Sure Beck_

Rex went into the bathroom as I saw Robbie grab Rex's phone I gave him a questioning look as he shot someone a text message.

_What are you doing man?_

_Rex thinks he's the only one who can talk to a girl_

_He's wrong I will get Cat to like me and I'll get your information Beck_

_Um Really Robbie this may be a bad idea_

_Nah man what can go wrong?_

_A lot you can't force Cat to like you_

_Who said force? I won't force her I will just show her that I am smart funny and fun to be with_

_Well good luck there mate_

_Thanks I'll text you when I have the code be ready_

_Um how do we distract the other girls?_

_Leave that to the rest of us Tori wants to check out the water park and she could use some fun after yesterday so I'll take her there and we can convince Freddie to drag Trina somewhere._

_That leaves the witch I mean Jade herself_

_We can send her a text say Milan wants her to meet him down by the river to check out a dancer_

_Sweet lets do this!_


	32. Chapter 32

**Beck's p o v**

Scissors666 Yup that's my Jade this better work man Andre was keeping Tori busy at the water park and Freddie had dragged Jade and Trina down to the dance battle that Ali had invited them to.

Now it was just me and Rex looking in her diary he was quite and not saying much but something was up with him I could tell.

There was no time to question though time was precious I had to find out how to get Jade to like me.

Quickly I logged into my the site and entered her site which was black with pictures of bloody scissors all over the wallpaper.

Scrolling I went to the last few entries.

_**July 2 2010**_

_**Uh I am so frustrated I really have no clue what my body is trying to tell me, I mean here is this cute but so obnoxious boy chasing me like a puppy chasing his tail. Everyone keeps telling me he would be the perfect boyfriend.**_

_**I mean I guess I can see it Beck's tall kind charming and funny and way cute even though he has two left feet.**_

_**Plus he gets me not many people understand what it's like for me boys are either afraid of me or disgusted.**_

_**Cancer it's ruined my damn life.**_

_**I hate my body I know I look like I am 9 and I will be thirteen in a few weeks. No wonder no boy will look at me.**_

_**I bet Beck only pities me which anger's me.**_

_**I wish it was just my anger though I mean I can't blame it all on that it's just when I look at Beck I get how cute he is but I just don't feel anything towards him.**_

_**Cat is telling me how her heart races how she feels sweaty and can barely see straight when she thinks about Rex.**_

_Yea sure she does liar_

Rex hissed pulling me out of my trance slightly I looked at him but didn't push for details.

_**I don't know if this is normal I mean were kids are we suppose to feel that way?**_

_**Uh I am so confused.**_

_**Secretly though and I am only telling you this...**_

The entry ended there I grunted as I scrolled up what was she telling that was so secret? Why did she end it? Did someone walk in?

The next entry was from..

_**July 12 th 2010**_

_**Maybe I will regret this someday but I have to tell someone and I can't tell anyone in my life my parents hate me and they would tell me I was a freak, Cat she would hate me if she knew and there's no one else.**_

_**I kind of figured something out.**_

_**The reason I don't like Beck is because he's a guy**_

_**This feels so strange but today I came to the concussion that if Beck was a she I would feel differently laying here last night with Cat I couldn't help but feel my heart racing when she laid her head down on my chest I wanted to cry so bad all I wanted was to stroke her hair and kiss her face.**_

_**Her chest was beating against mine I could feel her delicate skin as she curled up against me the way her eye lashes slowly steadily fluttered I wanted to kiss them. **_

_**She gives me a fever I feel dizzy when I think about my world without her when she calls my name I feel weak when she giggles my lips twist into this funny feeling shape. She calls it a smile. **_

_**When I am without her it's torture that's why I can't tell her I mean I know she won't judge me but still I am judging myself I can't help falling for her and I feel like it's all my fault.**_

_**My heart wants what it wants and if this was a fairytale it would be perfect I mean there's always a happy ending in them maybe that's why I hate them so bad their nothing but lies life is not perfect it is not happy it's full of pain and misery. **_

_**I am trying so hard to fight this**_ _**but how can I fight it when **__**I don't know what it is I am fighting against?**_

_**I guess I should of known better than to hope I mean hope is for losers and Jade West is no loser she's a fighter. I've been fighting my whole damn life against my parents the people who were suppose to protect me but left me out on my own in the cold.**_

_**Thanks Mom and Dad.**_

_**Been fighting for my life against my own body It must hate me why wouldn't it?**_

_**I hate me there's nothing to love.**_

_**I just wish I knew what it is that makes me so different...**_

I shock my head feeling dirty maybe this was a bad idea looking up I saw something in Rex's eyes before I could speak there was a loud rumble in the hallway.

_Hide quick if we get busted we are in so much trouble._

Rex dove into the closet as I crawled under the bed and curled into a ball seconds before Trina and Freddie stormed in she was soaked.

_Uh I can't believe you threw me into the river!_

_You needed to chill off _

_So you threw me into the river?_

_Yup you need to wake up Trina this Jordan dude he don't deserve you_

_How would you know who or what he deserves?_

_Cause I know how amazing you are and I can see how crappy he treats you a real lady deserves to be showered in roses and sweet kisses she deserves poems and songs written about her she earns respect when she writes or calls she gets an answer not waiting._

Trina was shaking she was so mad as she threw water at him he dodged it blocking it with his arm.

_All I know for sure Trina is that when I have a girlfriend I make sure she knows I care about her I make her feel special cause she is special I listen and I care._

_Well your not listening very well now Jordan loves me he wants to be with me he's just busy_

_Well if he's too busy to pay attention to his hot girl he don't deserve you_

_Just my thoughts_

_Well no one cares what you think uh get out!_

Freddie held up his hands shock his head and walked out as Trina kicked the door in frustration her face was beat red as she took her top off and threw it in the laundry bin.

My body did some strange things as she undressed damn she was hot I saw Rex from the closet two inches were open letting in light as he curled up taking out his cell. Silently I tired to tell him no but he snapped a few pictures as Trina stripped down naked.

My breath came hard as I tried to breathe normal my whole body heated up as strange things happened to me. I felt tight in my pants and I felt dizzy dang her breasts were huge, her stomach was flat and toned.

She was dialing a number but who ever she dialed didn't answer frustrated she screamed.

_Damn it Jordan this is the third time today I called you why won't you answer?_

_What is going on?_

_Why are you ignoring me?_

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Please Jordan answer me_

_After all I am going through for us at least give me the decency to talk to me.._

_CALL ME NOW!_

She threw the phone down on Tori's bed I could tell it was Tori's by the baseball quilt.

Going into the bathroom I breathed a sigh of relief but Rex shock his head as I listened I could hear the bathroom door was open damn it we were trapped and I had to leak bad.

After what seemed like forever she came out of the shower fully dressed I wasn't sure if I was relived of disappointed.

Picking up the phone again she dialed again.

_Jordan if I don't hear from you by Saturday were done I'm moving on _

_I will not wait around I am a queen and I will go after whoever I want!_

We waited for a few minutes after she left before getting out my legs were so stiff and sore I didn't think I would make it.

_Wait man I have to leak_

_Hurry up Oliver before we get busted_

_It'll be quick_

I ran into the bathroom zippering down looking around I could see two medication bottles strange we were suppose to give all our medication to the RN office.

What the heck was Truvada?

Who's was it? And why wasn't it in the clinic?

_Hurry up man someone's coming!_

_I'm coming Rex hold your horse_

_Man zip it up and lets go!_

We looked out hearing Tori's voice and took off down the other way heading to the elevator looking over my shoulder I saw we had made a clean get away.

Bam...

We crashed and fell looking up I saw Jade standing there pissed off,

Oh man what if Robbie slipped and told Cat what we were doing he was so dead.

_Boys..._

She growled out low and menacing as she glared at both of us.

I swallowed looking to Rex who looked nervous.

_Hey Jade what's going on? Your looking tight today in those jeans_

She crossed her arms her eyes tearing through me damn why couldn't I stop myself from falling for her? Even knowing how she felt now I still felt my throat close up and my legs start to shake my hands sweat or maybe it was fear what would she do if she knew we were reading her diary?

_Beck why you acting innocent?_

_Huh? What do you mean Jade?_

Suddenly she yanked her scissors out in one solid motion.

_I know what you did!_

We screamed as they sliced through the air...I ducked in fear so this is what they mean when they say your life flashes before your eyes.

I saw myself at two on the ice rink learning hockey with my dad and brother, I fell more than I stood and laughed a lot.

I saw my mom baking cookies and pies I saw myself playing with my friends when I was a kid I saw my sister cheering when the boy she liked sent her flowers I saw my parents dancing at their anniversary. I saw hospitals and Iv's,I saw kids laughing at me girls running away.

My parents fighting my sister leaving for college in the USA my brother making the national hockey team for youth.

Bye Mom bye dad I love you...

I felt the whoosh as the weapon grazed by my neck...


	33. Chapter 33

**Beck's p o v**

Scissors666 Yup that's my Jade this better work man Andre was keeping Tori busy at the water park and Freddie had dragged Jade and Trina down to the dance battle that Ali had invited them to.

Now it was just me and Rex looking in her diary he was quite and not saying much but something was up with him I could tell.

There was no time to question though time was precious I had to find out how to get Jade to like me.

Quickly I logged into my the site and entered her site which was black with pictures of bloody scissors all over the wallpaper.

Scrolling I went to the last few entries.

_**July 2 2010**_

_**Uh I am so frustrated I really have no clue what my body is trying to tell me, I mean here is this cute but so obnoxious boy chasing me like a puppy chasing his tail. Everyone keeps telling me he would be the perfect boyfriend.**_

_**I mean I guess I can see it Beck's tall kind charming and funny and way cute even though he has two left feet.**_

_**Plus he gets me not many people understand what it's like for me boys are either afraid of me or disgusted.**_

_**Cancer it's ruined my damn life.**_

_**I hate my body I know I look like I am 9 and I will be thirteen in a few weeks. No wonder no boy will look at me.**_

_**I bet Beck only pities me which anger's me.**_

_**I wish it was just my anger though I mean I can't blame it all on that it's just when I look at Beck I get how cute he is but I just don't feel anything towards him.**_

_**Cat is telling me how her heart races how she feels sweaty and can barely see straight when she thinks about Rex.**_

_Yea sure she does liar_

Rex hissed pulling me out of my trance slightly I looked at him but didn't push for details.

_**I don't know if this is normal I mean were kids are we suppose to feel that way?**_

_**Uh I am so confused.**_

_**Secretly though and I am only telling you this...**_

The entry ended there I grunted as I scrolled up what was she telling that was so secret? Why did she end it? Did someone walk in?

The next entry was from..

_**July 12 th 2010**_

_**Maybe I will regret this someday but I have to tell someone and I can't tell anyone in my life my parents hate me and they would tell me I was a freak, Cat she would hate me if she knew and there's no one else.**_

_**I kind of figured something out.**_

_**The reason I don't like Beck is because he's a guy**_

_**This feels so strange but today I came to the concussion that if Beck was a she I would feel differently laying here last night with Cat I couldn't help but feel my heart racing when she laid her head down on my chest I wanted to cry so bad all I wanted was to stroke her hair and kiss her face.**_

_**Her chest was beating against mine I could feel her delicate skin as she curled up against me the way her eye lashes slowly steadily fluttered I wanted to kiss them. **_

_**She gives me a fever I feel dizzy when I think about my world without her when she calls my name I feel weak when she giggles my lips twist into this funny feeling shape. She calls it a smile. **_

_**When I am without her it's torture that's why I can't tell her I mean I know she won't judge me but still I am judging myself I can't help falling for her and I feel like it's all my fault.**_

_**My heart wants what it wants and if this was a fairytale it would be perfect I mean there's always a happy ending in them maybe that's why I hate them so bad their nothing but lies life is not perfect it is not happy it's full of pain and misery. **_

_**I am trying so hard to fight this**_ _**but how can I fight it when **__**I don't know what it is I am fighting against?**_

_**I guess I should of known better than to hope I mean hope is for losers and Jade West is no loser she's a fighter. I've been fighting my whole damn life against my parents the people who were suppose to protect me but left me out on my own in the cold.**_

_**Thanks Mom and Dad.**_

_**Been fighting for my life against my own body It must hate me why wouldn't it?**_

_**I hate me there's nothing to love.**_

_**I just wish I knew what it is that makes me so different...**_

I shock my head feeling dirty maybe this was a bad idea looking up I saw something in Rex's eyes before I could speak there was a loud rumble in the hallway.

_Hide quick if we get busted we are in so much trouble._

Rex dove into the closet as I crawled under the bed and curled into a ball seconds before Trina and Freddie stormed in she was soaked.

_Uh I can't believe you threw me into the river!_

_You needed to chill off _

_So you threw me into the river?_

_Yup you need to wake up Trina this Jordan dude he don't deserve you_

_How would you know who or what he deserves?_

_Cause I know how amazing you are and I can see how crappy he treats you a real lady deserves to be showered in roses and sweet kisses she deserves poems and songs written about her she earns respect when she writes or calls she gets an answer not waiting._

Trina was shaking she was so mad as she threw water at him he dodged it blocking it with his arm.

_All I know for sure Trina is that when I have a girlfriend I make sure she knows I care about her I make her feel special cause she is special I listen and I care._

_Well your not listening very well now Jordan loves me he wants to be with me he's just busy_

_Well if he's too busy to pay attention to his hot girl he don't deserve you_

_Just my thoughts_

_Well no one cares what you think uh get out!_

Freddie held up his hands shock his head and walked out as Trina kicked the door in frustration her face was beat red as she took her top off and threw it in the laundry bin.

My body did some strange things as she undressed damn she was hot I saw Rex from the closet two inches were open letting in light as he curled up taking out his cell. Silently I tired to tell him no but he snapped a few pictures as Trina stripped down naked.

My breath came hard as I tried to breathe normal my whole body heated up as strange things happened to me. I felt tight in my pants and I felt dizzy dang her breasts were huge, her stomach was flat and toned.

She was dialing a number but who ever she dialed didn't answer frustrated she screamed.

_Damn it Jordan this is the third time today I called you why won't you answer?_

_What is going on?_

_Why are you ignoring me?_

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Please Jordan answer me_

_After all I am going through for us at least give me the decency to talk to me.._

_CALL ME NOW!_

She threw the phone down on Tori's bed I could tell it was Tori's by the baseball quilt.

Going into the bathroom I breathed a sigh of relief but Rex shock his head as I listened I could hear the bathroom door was open damn it we were trapped and I had to leak bad.

After what seemed like forever she came out of the shower fully dressed I wasn't sure if I was relived of disappointed.

Picking up the phone again she dialed again.

_Jordan if I don't hear from you by Saturday were done I'm moving on _

_I will not wait around I am a queen and I will go after whoever I want!_

We waited for a few minutes after she left before getting out my legs were so stiff and sore I didn't think I would make it.

_Wait man I have to leak_

_Hurry up Oliver before we get busted_

_It'll be quick_

I ran into the bathroom zippering down looking around I could see two medication bottles strange we were suppose to give all our medication to the RN office.

What the heck was Truvada?

Who's was it? And why wasn't it in the clinic?

_Hurry up man someone's coming!_

_I'm coming Rex hold your horse_

_Man zip it up and lets go!_

We looked out hearing Tori's voice and took off down the other way heading to the elevator looking over my shoulder I saw we had made a clean get away.

Bam...

We crashed and fell looking up I saw Jade standing there pissed off,

Oh man what if Robbie slipped and told Cat what we were doing he was so dead.

_Boys..._

She growled out low and menacing as she glared at both of us.

I swallowed looking to Rex who looked nervous.

_Hey Jade what's going on? Your looking tight today in those jeans_

She crossed her arms her eyes tearing through me damn why couldn't I stop myself from falling for her? Even knowing how she felt now I still felt my throat close up and my legs start to shake my hands sweat or maybe it was fear what would she do if she knew we were reading her diary?

_Beck why you acting innocent?_

_Huh? What do you mean Jade?_

Suddenly she yanked her scissors out in one solid motion.

_I know what you did!_

We screamed as they sliced through the air...I ducked in fear so this is what they mean when they say your life flashes before your eyes.

I saw myself at two on the ice rink learning hockey with my dad and brother, I fell more than I stood and laughed a lot.

I saw my mom baking cookies and pies I saw myself playing with my friends when I was a kid I saw my sister cheering when the boy she liked sent her flowers I saw my parents dancing at their anniversary. I saw hospitals and Iv's,I saw kids laughing at me girls running away.

My parents fighting my sister leaving for college in the USA my brother making the national hockey team for youth.

Bye Mom bye dad I love you...

I felt the whoosh as the weapon grazed by my neck...


	34. Chapter 34

**Jade's p o v**

_Jade what are you doing? Put the scissors down now!_

Ali was on top of me in seconds just as my blades slammed into the floor by Rex's arm I heard him gasp.

Ali grabbed me yanking me away her face beat red as she glared at me.

_What the heck is this all about?_

_He is a jerk!_

_Me what did I do?_

_You broke Cat's heart I warned you about hurting her_

_How did I hurt her?_

_You dumped her_

_She cheated on me!_

_No she didn't but you didn't even give her the chance to explain herself_

_Explain what is there to explain? She was kissing my brother_

_Enough Jade this has nothing to do with you_

_Like hell it doesn't she's my best friend_

_Or in your mind more.._

_What was that Beck?_

_Nothing can I go please?_

_Yes both of you boys can Jade this way_

They scurried off looking mighty suspicious what the heck were they up to? Ali yanked me away grabbing my weapon as she lead me to her office.

_Sit_

I sighed another lecture great at least she had a cool office plush rugs in all splashes of pinks purples black her walls were lined with platinum and gold records and pictures of her and her band mates from all over the world's best stages.

_What's got into you today Jade?_

I crossed my arms and stared at the picture furthest up on the left she was on a stage somewhere in Europe I could tell by back round someone was holding up euro's she was smiling looks like mid laugh her arms wrapped around Rylee who was leaning back her shirt riding up her mid driff damn she looked hot. Rylee had her arm around Ali's neck nuzzling her head against her neck,

_You mentioned that Cat was hurt_

Part of me wanted to confide in her but another part of me was still scared what would she care really? She was seventeen four years older than me almost five. She didn't have time for little kid problems.

_Jade I am here to help you I care about you_

_Liar_

_Why do you say that?_

She looked taken back as I hissed it to her glaring why did grownups always think kids were stupid enough to fall for that?

_I say it cause it's true_

_How do you know it's true you haven't even given me a chance to prove to you I care_

_You've been blocking out all our attempts all summer_

_What if I prove to you I understand more than you think?_

_How?_

_By showing you something_

I glared at her but sighed what could it hurt I had nothing else better to do and if it kept me out of trouble maybe it would be worth it.

She pulled out a purple book I gasped wait was she showing me her diary? I blushed she couldn't know I had one could she? What would people think if they knew I kept one? I mean even if it was digital it wasn't cool at almost thirteen now was it?

_This was my best friend when I was thirteen it held all my dreams my fears secrets you name it_

_Destiny knew it_

_You call it destiny?_

_I know kind of corny right_

_No it's um cool I mean if I had one I would call it hope_

_But I don't .._

_Jade it's okay if you have one but even if you don't I'm showing you something very personal no one else knows I have it except a few close friends._

_I am trusting you not to spread anything you read around some of this stuff could destroy my career and my friends._

I swallowed as she handed it to me should I look? I mean she was trusting me people don't do that no one ever cared enough to trust me.

She was sitting back in her chair her green/blue eyes looking me over I could see a little doubt in her eyes but I could also see pain. I know that look anywhere and I knew how that felt.

Why was she in pain why was she afraid? Ali was gorgeous with her cute blond curly hair to her lower neck her pale ivy skin those huge clear eyes perfect skin all 103 pounds of her she was pure sexiness every guy wanted her every girl wanted to be her.

She has the voice of an angel and she has all the money and fame I could dream about. 

I shouldn't read this it was private but she was given me permission wasn't that what I always wanted? To have access to her most private thoughts? If I knew how she handled things than I knew I could be alright.

Sometimes we make decisions under pressure that we regret was this going to be one of them?

**May 22 2006**

_**Another day gone another long ass night ahead of me why can't I just have a normal life? I know I have so much to be thankful for but sometimes it just seems like everything is crumbling around me.**_

_**I was doing so well and now one stupid decision leaves me with an infection that's threating my whole immune system.**_

_**I knew I shouldn't of been in the rain and cold that long but damn Rian was so pissed at me. I had to get him to understand.**_

_**How I have no clue man it was so dumb I know he has real feelings for me.**_

_**He proved it last week..**_

_**I still can't believe it I made love to Rian McCrae does this make me a slut? I mean I am only 13 but I'm mature what other kids my age have three houses in three different coasts? Who else has their own hit album Tv show?**_

_**I own my own company I mean I am more mature than most kids so it shouldn't be so surprising that I want to make love to my boyfriend should it?**_

_**I know the media would eat us apart we'd be dropped from our labels parents would leech us.**_

_**Maybe that's why I got so scared maybe that's why I ran to Rylee and cried so hard I can't lose someone else.**_

_**I didn't expect to kiss her or to have her kiss me back and I sure as hell didn't know I would love it so much.**_

_**What does this all mean? Does this mean I am gay? I can't be right I slept with a boy and I enjoyed it I wanted him inside of me I wanted to feel him touch me kiss me..but I wanted her to do more and maybe ..No I know we would of gone further if Rina hadn't caught us...**_

_**Sometimes my life just sucks...**_

_Wow Ali I can't believe you let me read this or that this stuff happened_

_Believe it babe it's my life I slept with my boy friend fell in love with my best friend and kissed her_

_I get it when you say you want to protect Cat it's not just because of how innocent she is or that you love her as a friend your in love with Cat and that scares the hell out of you._

_I'm willing to go so far as to say that you have no idea what these feelings me but that it makes you feel wrong somehow._

_Even though it feels right at the same time_

_How ...I mean.._

_I know cause I felt the same way and I didn't have anyone to help me figure this out I had to do it on my own while pretending to the world I was in love with Rian who had to pretend he loved me and didn't hate my guts._

Ali coughed pretty hard as she leaned her head back against her cushioned seat.

_Jade your not alone and your not a freak _

_So what am I?_

_Well it seems to me that if we were to put a name to it you would you would be bi-sexual _

_So how do I know for sure?_

_Well have you kissed a boy yet?_

_Only once last year it was gross _

_Are you attracted to boys?_

_Kind of I mean I can see when one's cute or not but I don't feel any desire to kiss one or touch one_

_But you do for girls?_

_I don't know I just I mean I know when one makes my heart flutter_

_Jade I think you need to talk to someone your age maybe even experiment a little _

_You mean like kiss someone?_

_It can't hurt_

My heart fluttered was she saying that I should kiss her? My fingers felt cramped I was breathing heavy. She came over to me and took my hand could this be happening? I mean I couldn't even count the numbers of dreams I had where she kissed me or I kissed her.

Was I suppose to make the first move?

_Jade are you listening to me?_

I shock my head swallowing her eyes were burying themselves in me just do it Jade..

Don't think just...


	35. Chapter 35

**Jade's p o v**

_Jade whoa wait what are you doing?_

_I thought I .._

_Oh Jade sweetie no I am so sorry I didn't mean to lead you on_

_No what I was trying to say is that there's a support group here _

_Their first meeting is tonight _

I couldn't help feeling humiliated and stupid why would I think she wanted to kiss me? I'm a kid she's a grown woman. Don't cry Jade don't cry your not a little kid your almost 13.

Deep breath Ali lifted my chin up and pulled me close to her I could smell her sweet cinnamon vanilla perfume.

Her breasts were very full as my head rested against them I could feel them as her chest rose with each beat.

_What's the name of the group?_

_We just call it LGBTQ Cru_

_Kind of cool_

_Yes it is the group is open for any camper/Counselor who feels they have a need for it whatever happens in there stays in there._

_Think you want to check it out?_

_Yea it can't hurt_

_Awesome were starting in like ten in my suit._

We walked down silently after I cleaned up Ali has an amazing suit which she shares with her bandmates.

We were the first ones to get there she lead me in where Rian and Liam were sitting on the couch watching TV.

When we first walked in I saw a circler living room which over looked the kitchen behind it I saw three bedrooms.

I spotted the two for the boys easily one was a complete mess boxers thrown around games and food, ew one was slightly neater but had comics on the bed and posters of heavy metal bands and video game consuls.

Plus Beacon was laying on one of the beds passed out.

The third was pink and purple and clean Rylee was on the bed on her cell as Ali and I came in ,she motioned for me to sit anywhere as she closed the door and undressed, Rylee said good-bye to who it was she was on the phone with and came over to kiss Ali.

Who wasted no time wrapping her arms around her waist laughing as they held each other kissing.

I wanted that I mean not with them..well okay hell yeah with them but I just wanted to feel loved and wanted by someone.

Ali's face lite up as Rylee nuzzled her neck pushing Ali's hair back small moans escaped her as I laid back picturing me and Cat like that.

Tears welled up there was no way she would ever feel that way towards me.

I felt weak and tired again damn chemo brush past this Jade you can do this.

Ali came up and gave Rylee a slight brush of her lips on her check and whispered something about getting inappropriate in front of me.

Rylee seemed to not want to let go but she slapped Ali's butt and went back to the bed to let Ali change.

Damn she really did have the perfect body she had to be at least a D cup no more than 103 maybe but she was toned and built she had a dancers body for sure.

Looking down at my own body I felt every bit like the little kid I am and I couldn't wait to grow into my body if only this chemo would finally work and get rid of this awful cancer.

My stomach hurt again how long had it been since I went to the bathroom? Anymore I couldn't tell after having such bad issues a few weeks ago now I was the opposite even with medication everyday nothing was helping.

It didn't help that food was the last thing I wanted to see or smell anymore.

_Ready Jade?_

_Everyone's starting to arrive_

She spritzed on some fancy fragrance which smelled amazing and lead me out she even looked hot rocking a pair of blue jeans and a vintage tee I wasn't the only one who noticed all eyes were on Ali mine Rylee their band mates and every kid here.

_Welcome everyone I am so glad you are all here_

_As many of you know I am Aisling and I am openly gay in Hollywood_

_I am a huge supporter of LGBTQ youth rights I understand what it means to feel different to feel alone_

_Well I am here to tell you all that it's okay to be different cause difference is what makes us unique and awesome, different doesn't mean freak or bad._

_I'm sure most of you know my story well at least the one Hollywood painted now let me tell you the real version._

_First let' introduce the rest of the band _

_To my right is Liam, who's straight next to Liam is Rian who's also openly gay than we have Beacon who's straight and Rylee my beautiful awesome girlfriend who identifies as Bi-Sexual. ._

Rylee stood up grabbed Ali's waist and kissed her she didn't argue but she kept it clean smiling through the kiss the way she looked at her melted me would anyone ever look at me that way?

Ali may have fought cancer but she is a goddess me I am plain ugly and sickly nobody would want to kiss this.

I felt myself sink deeper into the couch sighing as Ali started talking she seemed nervous now which was kind of different. She's an award winning performer who's accepted Grammy's Emmy's VMA's from all over the world. Yet she's more nervous talking in front of teens than industry vets and millions of people.

_Simply put I knew I was a Lesbian since I was thirteen but I handled it wrong I made some mistakes and hurt people I cared about all because of fear and what other people would think. I let society put me in a corner and I gave them permission to make me feel small insignificant and wrong._

_It took two years before I would finally have the courage to admit that being a lesbian wasn't a choice it's who I was born as but what I had a choice was how I handled it how I chose to deal with my life._

_I could be a fox and hunt down these stereotypes and knock down these barriers or I could be the hunted and I was done being used wasted and shot down._

_People don't understand how I can write such personal songs and have no fear about being judged what people don't get is that when I am on stage I am doing a job I am performing when I am doing interviews asking me personal questions it's me now not a stage presence I am being judged for how I speak how I look even how I feel, what's said in interviews lives on forever._

_Rylee was the one who gave me the courage to accept the fact that we were role models to kids and we had the power to help make them feel less afraid._

_It's not easy to be yourself but when you let yourself go you will find the most amazing inner peace just allowing yourself to breathe and be yourself that's the sweetest award._

_Now enough about me let's introduce ourself.._

_Sainty why don't you go first.._

_Hi I am Sainty Miller I am 15 and I am gay I knew for about a year who I was but I haven't come out yet see I come from a very religious family my dad's a pastor and he believes homosexuality is an unforgivable sin._

_My mom well she lets him rule so I feel if I come out than I will be disowned and it ..it's killing me I hate hiding who I am..I need help I feel so alone.._

_Your not alone were all here baby girl_

Rylee went over and hugged her wrapping her arm around the girl who started crying I rolled my eyes slightly but her story was pretty touching.

_Hi I am Tate and I am 14 I've been out since last year and I have been bullied for it ever since I even changed schools but nothings gotten better, I really want to be the next Justin B he is the sweetest._

_Hi Tate thanks for sharing_

_Your cute honey I'm Danny we need to talk after_

We all laughed as Danny stood up he was pretty short but what he lacked in height he made up for in energy.

_I'm Danny Rodriquez and I am 15 I've been out and PROUD say it with me people P.R.O.U.D since I was 12 years old last year I started cross dressing and realized I have some fabulous talent and I am not afraid to showcase it and make some money honey._

_People say shit to me all the time but who cares as long as I know I am amazing than FTA ya all can figure out what that means.._

We laughed as more kids introduced themselves than a blond girl who could be a mini Ali stood up she was tall and lanky and beautiful.

_Hello _

She had a cute southern accent it wasn't real strong but it was present.

_I am Taylor Gomez and I am 13 I love country music and Taylor is my hero and yes Taylor is my birth name.._

She giggled she had an adorable laugh.

_I guess you could say I knew I was bi sexual since I was ten but I didn't know what it meant to this past year I am slowly starting to come to terms with who I am and I am loving the girl I am becoming and I want to help others learn to love themselves and kick some butt in this video competition._

_Taylor sweetie let's leave the competition outside this is strictly for helping and talking no intimidating_

_Sorry Miss Ali_

_It's not a problem sweetie_

_Jade why don't we hear from you_

Why don't we not Ali was all I could think about but she had been pretty amazing and I didn't want to disappoint her so I took a deep breath stood up and shoved my hands in my jean pockets.

_Hi I am Jade West and I will be 13 next week_

_Happy almost birthday Jade_

I nodded looking down as I tried to keep going.

_I love horror movies and musical theater __I know kind of a strange combo_

_I am the biggest fan of the scissoring and I love to write and produce my own horror movie one day_

_I think I may be bi-sexual and in love with my best friend her names Cat and she's purfect,,_

The door shut as I looked up to see Milan standing there my heart dropped and I felt sick and dizzy did he hear all that?

His look told me what I feared.


	36. Chapter 36

**Jade's p o v**

_Jade whoa wait what are you doing?_

_I thought I .._

_Oh Jade sweetie no I am so sorry I didn't mean to lead you on_

_No what I was trying to say is that there's a support group here _

_Their first meeting is tonight _

I couldn't help feeling humiliated and stupid why would I think she wanted to kiss me? I'm a kid she's a grown woman. Don't cry Jade don't cry your not a little kid your almost 13.

Deep breath Ali lifted my chin up and pulled me close to her I could smell her sweet cinnamon vanilla perfume.

Her breasts were very full as my head rested against them I could feel them as her chest rose with each beat.

_What's the name of the group?_

_We just call it LGBTQ Cru_

_Kind of cool_

_Yes it is the group is open for any camper/Counselor who feels they have a need for it whatever happens in there stays in there._

_Think you want to check it out?_

_Yea it can't hurt_

_Awesome were starting in like ten in my suit._

We walked down silently after I cleaned up Ali has an amazing suit which she shares with her bandmates.

We were the first ones to get there she lead me in where Rian and Liam were sitting on the couch watching TV.

When we first walked in I saw a circler living room which over looked the kitchen behind it I saw three bedrooms.

I spotted the two for the boys easily one was a complete mess boxers thrown around games and food, ew one was slightly neater but had comics on the bed and posters of heavy metal bands and video game consuls.

Plus Beacon was laying on one of the beds passed out.

The third was pink and purple and clean Rylee was on the bed on her cell as Ali and I came in ,she motioned for me to sit anywhere as she closed the door and undressed, Rylee said good-bye to who it was she was on the phone with and came over to kiss Ali.

Who wasted no time wrapping her arms around her waist laughing as they held each other kissing.

I wanted that I mean not with them..well okay hell yeah with them but I just wanted to feel loved and wanted by someone.

Ali's face lite up as Rylee nuzzled her neck pushing Ali's hair back small moans escaped her as I laid back picturing me and Cat like that.

Tears welled up there was no way she would ever feel that way towards me.

I felt weak and tired again damn chemo brush past this Jade you can do this.

Ali came up and gave Rylee a slight brush of her lips on her check and whispered something about getting inappropriate in front of me.

Rylee seemed to not want to let go but she slapped Ali's butt and went back to the bed to let Ali change.

Damn she really did have the perfect body she had to be at least a D cup no more than 103 maybe but she was toned and built she had a dancers body for sure.

Looking down at my own body I felt every bit like the little kid I am and I couldn't wait to grow into my body if only this chemo would finally work and get rid of this awful cancer.

My stomach hurt again how long had it been since I went to the bathroom? Anymore I couldn't tell after having such bad issues a few weeks ago now I was the opposite even with medication everyday nothing was helping.

It didn't help that food was the last thing I wanted to see or smell anymore.

_Ready Jade?_

_Everyone's starting to arrive_

She spritzed on some fancy fragrance which smelled amazing and lead me out she even looked hot rocking a pair of blue jeans and a vintage tee I wasn't the only one who noticed all eyes were on Ali mine Rylee their band mates and every kid here.

_Welcome everyone I am so glad you are all here_

_As many of you know I am Aisling and I am openly gay in Hollywood_

_I am a huge supporter of LGBTQ youth rights I understand what it means to feel different to feel alone_

_Well I am here to tell you all that it's okay to be different cause difference is what makes us unique and awesome, different doesn't mean freak or bad._

_I'm sure most of you know my story well at least the one Hollywood painted now let me tell you the real version._

_First let' introduce the rest of the band _

_To my right is Liam, who's straight next to Liam is Rian who's also openly gay than we have Beacon who's straight and Rylee my beautiful awesome girlfriend who identifies as Bi-Sexual. ._

Rylee stood up grabbed Ali's waist and kissed her she didn't argue but she kept it clean smiling through the kiss the way she looked at her melted me would anyone ever look at me that way?

Ali may have fought cancer but she is a goddess me I am plain ugly and sickly nobody would want to kiss this.

I felt myself sink deeper into the couch sighing as Ali started talking she seemed nervous now which was kind of different. She's an award winning performer who's accepted Grammy's Emmy's VMA's from all over the world. Yet she's more nervous talking in front of teens than industry vets and millions of people.

_Simply put I knew I was a Lesbian since I was thirteen but I handled it wrong I made some mistakes and hurt people I cared about all because of fear and what other people would think. I let society put me in a corner and I gave them permission to make me feel small insignificant and wrong._

_It took two years before I would finally have the courage to admit that being a lesbian wasn't a choice it's who I was born as but what I had a choice was how I handled it how I chose to deal with my life._

_I could be a fox and hunt down these stereotypes and knock down these barriers or I could be the hunted and I was done being used wasted and shot down._

_People don't understand how I can write such personal songs and have no fear about being judged what people don't get is that when I am on stage I am doing a job I am performing when I am doing interviews asking me personal questions it's me now not a stage presence I am being judged for how I speak how I look even how I feel, what's said in interviews lives on forever._

_Rylee was the one who gave me the courage to accept the fact that we were role models to kids and we had the power to help make them feel less afraid._

_It's not easy to be yourself but when you let yourself go you will find the most amazing inner peace just allowing yourself to breathe and be yourself that's the sweetest award._

_Now enough about me let's introduce ourself.._

_Sainty why don't you go first.._

_Hi I am Sainty Miller I am 15 and I am gay I knew for about a year who I was but I haven't come out yet see I come from a very religious family my dad's a pastor and he believes homosexuality is an unforgivable sin._

_My mom well she lets him rule so I feel if I come out than I will be disowned and it ..it's killing me I hate hiding who I am..I need help I feel so alone.._

_Your not alone were all here baby girl_

Rylee went over and hugged her wrapping her arm around the girl who started crying I rolled my eyes slightly but her story was pretty touching.

_Hi I am Tate and I am 14 I've been out since last year and I have been bullied for it ever since I even changed schools but nothings gotten better, I really want to be the next Justin B he is the sweetest._

_Hi Tate thanks for sharing_

_Your cute honey I'm Danny we need to talk after_

We all laughed as Danny stood up he was pretty short but what he lacked in height he made up for in energy.

_I'm Danny Rodriquez and I am 15 I've been out and PROUD say it with me people P.R.O.U.D since I was 12 years old last year I started cross dressing and realized I have some fabulous talent and I am not afraid to showcase it and make some money honey._

_People say shit to me all the time but who cares as long as I know I am amazing than FTA ya all can figure out what that means.._

We laughed as more kids introduced themselves than a blond girl who could be a mini Ali stood up she was tall and lanky and beautiful.

_Hello _

She had a cute southern accent it wasn't real strong but it was present.

_I am Taylor Gomez and I am 13 I love country music and Taylor is my hero and yes Taylor is my birth name.._

She giggled she had an adorable laugh.

_I guess you could say I knew I was bi sexual since I was ten but I didn't know what it meant to this past year I am slowly starting to come to terms with who I am and I am loving the girl I am becoming and I want to help others learn to love themselves and kick some butt in this video competition._

_Taylor sweetie let's leave the competition outside this is strictly for helping and talking no intimidating_

_Sorry Miss Ali_

_It's not a problem sweetie_

_Jade why don't we hear from you_

Why don't we not Ali was all I could think about but she had been pretty amazing and I didn't want to disappoint her so I took a deep breath stood up and shoved my hands in my jean pockets.

_Hi I am Jade West and I will be 13 next week_

_Happy almost birthday Jade_

I nodded looking down as I tried to keep going.

_I love horror movies and musical theater __I know kind of a strange combo_

_I am the biggest fan of the scissoring and I love to write and produce my own horror movie one day_

_I think I may be bi-sexual and in love with my best friend her names Cat and she's purfect,,_

The door shut as I looked up to see Milan standing there my heart dropped and I felt sick and dizzy did he hear all that?

His look told me what I feared.


	37. Chapter 37

**Trina's p o v**

_This party is awesome!_

I pumped up my fist as I danced with Morgan and Alyssa Ali had combined two Conference rooms which were huge for the last two days the kids had spent decorating them and I must say they looked amazing one room was all glitzed out like Broadway and New York City and the other was a scene from Pirates of The Caribbean.

Dancers performed the can can and many different hot numbers all over the room while actors acted out sword fights and paced the room doing impressions Robbie was dressed as Jack Sparrow walking around handing out appetizers talking in crazy pirate talk, he was pretty dang good to.

_Everyone seems to be having fun_

_Yea all the kids are dancing and playing games _

_Have you seen Jade?_

_Yea over there Cat has her playing that VR Game _

_Ah Virtual reality fun last night I was on a ski trip in aspen I always wanted to ski_

_I know right _

_Yea so how are you Trina?_

_I'm good still bummed about Erica but now that I'm actually taking things a little more serious I am starting to see how awesome these kids are._

_Cat really_ _poured her heart and soul into this and Jade seems to be having the time of her life_

_Did you see the look on her face when she first came inside?_

_Yes she was totally shocked_

_I swear I saw tears in her eyes_

_She told me she didn't think anybody would remember or care about her birthday _

_How can anybody not remember when their own kid is born?_

_I know right I have the whole week and my parents lather me in gifts and dinners_

_Wow a whole week Trina?_

_Uh yea duh I deserve it I am pretty dang amazing_

The girls laughed as we shock out butts.

I didn't want to say it out loud but I was pretty proud of myself I mean I helped the kids plan this I went out and raised money to get presents for her and helped Ali order the food.

It was great to see Jade get so emotional over this, I can't imagine being so young being sick and having parents who don't care enough to celebrate the day you were born.

Breaking from the girls I danced to the refreshment table where Freddie was handing out soda punch and brownies.

His smile was heart melting.

_Ahoy Trina_

_Hey Freddie_

_Avast me proud beauty what shall ye fancy to splice the mainbrace?_

I stared at Freddie who was dressed in a fancy gold and black pirate outfit with a colorful bird on his shoulder who's head turned as Freddie spoke kind of creepy really but Freddie looked so cute.

_He's asking what you want to drink bird brain_

_Did that bird just speak?_

_Ahy I did now tell thy master what ye wants to wet thy whistle_

_uh I'll um..._

I was shocked between Freddie looking so cute and the talking bird all I could do was point to the water.

Freddie poured me a 20 ounce cup with ice smiling.

_Thanks _

I crocked out he nodded as someone came over and nodded to Freddie.

_Me beauty it seems I have been released of me duties for a 30 minute would you do me thy pleasure of some company?_

_Only if you stop talking like that_

Freddie sighed as he set the bird down on a fountain which had a gorgeous waterfall in it and grinned.

_Thank god Sikowitz said we weren't allowed to break character until we were ordered by someone to._

_So what your saying is I am a hero?_

_Well I wouldn't go that far_

_Having fun?_

_Yea it's awesome music is hot food is good and the kids are really enjoying themselves_

_What about you Trina?_

_I'm doing great my girls are so unique and for once I am having fun and I feel free_

_So you and jerk boy_

_Jordan and I are done_

_Well than shall we have this dance?_

I smiled as a slow song by Selena Gomes came on and nodded he held out his arms so I slipped into them as we danced slowly and close.

Freddie smelled like old spice and ginger.

I loved the lyrics of this song and found myself easily dancing to the beat swaying my hips as Freddie;'s hands ran over my neck and shoulders our bodies grinded in perfect harmony.

It didn't hurt that I looked hot in a pair of black booty shorts spandex and a black bra with a gold sequined blazer.

My long hair was pulled up in a pony tail high and my makeup was soft but flashy at the same time. We didn't need words as we danced.

Damn Freddie was a pretty decent dancer much better than Jordan taking my hand Freddie lead me off the dance floor as kids started coming out to congratulate me.

_Great party Trina_

_Awesome job_

_These decorations are flawless_

_Thanks but our kids had more to do than we did_

Trying to get off became impossible as a Taylor song came blaring on and all the kids swarmed back on jumping and spinning arms umping hips swaying sighing Freddie and I joined in.

_Darling I am a nightmare dressed as daydream_

I saw Cat and Jade dancing with Ali who was smiling as she swayed her perfect toned hips dressed in black hip huggers and a plaid halter top of red and black. She moved so fast I was dizzy watching.

Damn I want to be like her so bad but I was starting to learn that maybe I didn't have to do everything she did maybe I could just work on being Trina.

Finally we escaped the floor and sneaked off to a private place.

_I can breathe finally_

_I know man those kids can really suffocate you _

_It's cool though _

_You missing Erica?_

_Yea kind of she was fun_

_Your better off without her_

_Why do you keep dogging her?_

_Cause I known Erica since she was born and I know she's trouble_

_She's my cousin Trina and she's been in and out of Juvie since she was 12_

_Her parents can't control her and she has an I don't care about anything attitude_

_They thought coming here would help her out so did the judge but she doesn't want to change_

_Your better off without her Trina_

_Maybe but she's your cousin you should support her_

_I do and I don't wish her harm but she needs to grow u and understand life isn't about what she wants whenever she wants it life is so much more complicated and fragile._

_Sounds like you know a little about that_

_Yea I do I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma __when I was eleven I had to go through painful treatments surgeries and infections for seven months till I was in remission and than I had to do six months of maintenance check ups and tests every month only to relapse two years later._

_I was 13 than and I went through such a horrible depression I didn't want to go through more treatments I hated my life I refused to eat. My mom was always smothering me but she didn't understand what I was going through._

My heart broke for him but I didn't want him to see me pity him I knew Tori hates pity.

_What helped you through it?_

_My best friends Carly and Sam they wouldn't let me quit_

_Friendship can really make you or break you and they made me see I had so much to offer_

_So your in remission now?_

_Yeah after seventeen more surgeries including the one when I was fourteen to remove my right leg_

I was shocked but he lifted up his pants to show me his prosthesis which didn't look like what I thought it was flesh colored and blended well with his upper leg.

_I thought my life was over but Sam and Carly helped me see that while one door closed another one had opened so I may not be able to dance like I use to I was smart at the tech and Av aspect. Sam and Carly saved up and bought me a state of the art board for my fifth teen birthday which opened up my world in a whole new light._

_Wow Freddie I would of never guessed _

_Yea amazing what you learn when you open up and talk_

_So I told you my story what's yours?_

Could I trust him?

Should I trust him? Would he run away if I told him? I would if I was him.

_Trina Freddie it's time for cake come on!_

Robbie called out why was his face so red?


	38. Chapter 38

**Cat's p o v**

_It's all about that bass yeah no treble_

_Whew Shake that thing Andre oh yeah shake it off_

Tori and I were cheering as Andre got down in a dance off with two other boys. Dancing and cheering with her was fun Jade would never do this she would be too busy trying to get in the dance off and wipe the floor with them all.

Andre was doing awesome to. Tori slung her arms around me as we danced my eyes scanned for Jade she hadn't been feeling well and didn't want to come down we had to drag her out of the room.

Trina had come up with the excuse that Ali was throwing me a party to celebrate my article I had written for kids week in the New York Post about being sick and my greatest wish to be a pop star.

Only reason Jade had come Trina did her makeup I was still in shock she let her which only proved to me she really loved me.

Andre was doing a fancy head spin as I spotted Jade watching some of the older kids doing a song from Annie the musical urban version.

I know how bad she wants to be up there with them.

We screamed and cheered as Andre lead them down winning the comp.

High Fiving and hugging we went over to find Jade.

Sitting down by her I could see how exhausted she was she didn't say a word as she laid her head down in my lap stroking her hair I tried to comfort her.

_Were going to beat this Jade both of us I know it seems rough right now but I have faith will both be healthy and ready to take Hollywood Arts by storm in three years._

_Three years seems so long Cat_

_I know but it's not it'll go by fast will see_

_Promise me Jade you won't quit fighting_

_It's so hard Cat_

_I know it is but life is beautiful_

_Maybe for you Cat_

_For you to Jade I promise life will be easier once were both cured will be happy and healthy_

_I won't stop fighting Jade and you can't either were partners for life sisters besties_

She looked up and smiled her eyes glistening with tears but she nodded.

_Say the words Jade I need to hear them come from your lips_

_I promise Cat as long as you never leave my side_

_Never Jade were twins just polar opposites_

We both laughed heads bent together as Tori snapped pictures.

Grabbing her hand we jumped up and started dancing nothing crazy very slow I did more singing while they danced as the DJ played my favorite song.

_I stay up too late at least that's what people say_

Tori was going crazy as she swung her arms and hips making silly faces with Andre and Beck.

After ten minutes of dancing I was so winded I could barely breathe so Jade and Milan lead me to a table where I laid my head down and Milan got my oxygen while Tori went to grab drinks.

For the next hour or so we watched as kids danced and performers preformed I spotted Rex hanging with some of his friends his eyes looked cold and hard he avoided eye contact with me.

_I hope one day I can dance like those girls_

Tori was speaking but I wasn't sure if she was talking to herself or us her eyes lead me to six older girls probably around Trina's age.

They were doing some pretty complicated moves but they made it look effortless.

_More than anything though I just want to sing I hope I can be as amazing as Ali someday_

_Hey girls gentleman_

We jumped as Ali came over her checks red as she sat by us sipping her Mt. Dew I was shocked she wasn't drinking water or some other kind of celebrity fat burning drink.

_Having fun?_

_Yea this is awesome_

_I can't believe you all did this for me_

_Why not Jade you deserve to have your special day_

_Thanks everyone I won't forget this_

_Good you shouldn't_

_Ha Ha_

_Did you check out the pirate ship?_

_No what's that?_

_It's a photo booth slash mini recording game_

_Sweet we should do it_

_Go ahead guys I'll wait here_

I really wanted to do it but I had no energy now I was starting to get a headache and a little tummy upset.

Jade wrapped her arms around me kissing my head.

_Why don't you guys go ahead and I'll check it out later_

_Sure it's your birthday_

_Yea I'm with my bestie I'm cool_

_Jade you can go it's okay_

_No babe your all I need_

Tori and the boys ran off as we sipped our water and watched the shows.

I saw Trina looking at Freddie as they danced she wanted him I could tell but she was afraid of something. She really needed to let her guard down and start trusting.

After what seemed to be forever I felt better so Jade took my hand and we went to check out the ship.

_Ar matey care to play a round of pirates?_

_No were good_

_Blimey how can ye refuse thee good looks and thee sweet charm?_

_Yo-Ho-Ho _

_Did he just call me a ho?_

_No Cat it's pirate talk_

_Pirates talk strange Jade_

_They are strange Cat keep walking_

_Shiver me timbers we are not a lucid bunch we are a gaggle of good times and a rum of life_

_Did he just say gaggle?_

I cracked up laughing so hard I swear I almost wet myself Jade even seemed to find it funny. She pushed me forward as a pirate swung around the deck smacking me in my face his lips on top of mine his hands where they shouldn't be.

Shocked I tripped and fell into Jade's arms as I saw Robbie standing in front of me and Rex watching from a far he turned and walked away as I gasped slapping Robbie hard across his face.

_I don't want to play pirates with you I don't like how you play_

I started crying hard as Jade glared at him and lead me away. Robbie held his check smiling freak.


	39. Chapter 39

**Andre's p o v**

_Man these girls are looking finer and finer as the dance goes on_

_Keep it in your pants Andre_

_Man your disgusting Beck I wasn't going down there I was just making an observation_

_Uh huh sure you were_

_Yo Rex man was up? You looking pissed_

_Wouldn't you be if you saw your girl kissing your brother again!_

_She keeps saying she doesn't like Robbie he's not her type but every time I turn around there she is sucking face with the person she says she despises._

_Wait what?_

_Cat kissed Robbie again?_

_Yea behind the pirate ship_

_Aw man I'm sorry to hear that forget her than she ain't worth your time_

_Shoot man I would be more pissed at my brother than I would be at her_

_No man Robbie is a loser he is too sorry to to get his own girl so he has to steal mine_

_No worries though there'll both be sorry soon enough _

_What's that suppose to mean?_

_Nothing man just that karma goes around _

_Lets dance man _

_Sounds great_

Rex was starting to creep me out his eyes were glaring daggers at Cat and Jade who were in a corner looked like cat was crying poor girl. She didn't strike me as someone who would cheat on her boyfriend but girls are funny man you just never know.

That's why I liked Tori she didn't care about that stuff boys, clothes makeup she was content being a tomboy playing ball and playing music.

Sliding over to where Tori was dancing I grinned as she turned around and started shaking her hips.

_Sup slugger?_

_The tress the clouds the temperature_

_Ha ha funny _

_I try_

_So what's going on you having fun this summer?_

_Yea man for sure you?_

_Yea just wish Trina was having more fun_

_Why do you care what your leader is doing?_

_Trina a leader ha not I don't know I guess I just want everyone to have fun_

_See that's why I like you Tori you have a good heart_

_Thanks Andre I just like you cause you have smooth moves_

_Well I do have smooth moves so I feel you man_

Tori grinned as we spun and swayed she was pretty cute taking her hand we spun and shock our hips as someone on stage called for our attention.

Looking up we saw Rex standing on stage with some papers.

_May I have your attention please_

Everyone got quite as he grinned.

_I wanted to dedicate this to Jade Happy Birthday_

_Straight from the pages of Jade's own journal _

_**July 12 th 2010**_

_**Maybe I will regret this someday but I have to tell someone and I can't tell anyone in my life my parents hate me and they would tell me I was a freak, Cat she would hate me if she knew and there's no one else.**_

_**I kind of figured something out.**_

_**The reason I don't like Beck is because he's a guy**_

_**This feels so strange but today I came to the concussion that if Beck was a she I would feel differently laying here last night with Cat I couldn't help but feel my heart racing when she laid her head down on my chest I wanted to cry so bad all I wanted was to stroke her hair and kiss her face.**_

_**Her chest was beating against mine I could feel her delicate skin as she curled up against me the way her eye lashes slowly steadily fluttered I wanted to kiss them. **_

_**She gives me a fever I feel dizzy when I think about my world without her when she calls my name I feel weak when she giggles my lips twist into this funny feeling shape. She calls it a smile. **_

_**When I am without her it's torture that's why I can't tell her I mean I know she won't judge me but still I am judging myself I can't help falling for her and I feel like it's all my fault.**_

_**My heart wants what it wants and if this was a fairytale it would be perfect I mean there's always a happy ending in them maybe that's why I hate them so bad their nothing but lies life is not perfect it is not happy it's full of pain and misery. **_

_**I am trying so hard to fight this**_ _**but how can I fight it when **__**I don't know what it is I am fighting against?**_

_**I guess I should of known better than to hope I mean hope is for losers and Jade West is no loser she's a fighter. I've been fighting my whole damn life against my parents the people who were suppose to protect me but left me out on my own in the cold.**_

_**Thanks Mom and Dad.**_

_**Been fighting for my life against my own body It must hate me why wouldn't it?**_

_**I hate me there's nothing to love.**_

_**I just wish I knew what it is that makes me so different...**_

_I'll tell you what makes you so different Jade Your Gay a lesbian a freak and your in love with a lying cheating whore.._

_I hope she makes you happy cause she's brought me nothing but pain and misery_

_Happy Birthday freak_

Jade's whole face was twisted up like she was trying not to cry her eyes were slit with anger at first everyone was quite and trying not to look at her than the whispers started and the pointing.

Ali and Rylee quickly moved forward running up on to the stage Rian grabbed Rex shoving him off stage. Ali was shaken as she cleared her throat and started to speak.

_Not cool I want everyone to take a moment and put yourself in the position that you just had your entire world ripped apart the safety net and are left to freefall._

Snapping to attention I felt Tori nudge me as I saw Jade take off shoving people out of the way. Cat was crying so hard she couldn't even stand.

Milan had practically sailed across the floor to get to Cat.

Tori and I went after Jade while I saw Robbie comforting Cat.

Damn Jade was a fast runner getting past the kids the night air hit us hard cold and damp but we adjusted our eyes and tried to figure out where she went to.

We searched high and low but after two hours we still had no luck we were exhausted and cold our throats raw from yelling her name.

Running through the woods yelling checking in cabins climbing tress searching the stables making sure she didn't check out a horse, going through the water park, baseball field dance studio recording studios.

_I need to break Andre lets sit for a minute_

_Where can she be?_

_I have no clue Tori_

We were down by the lake sitting on a rock trying to catch our breaths tori's face was flushed so red I was worried she would pass out.

_Why would Rex do that?_

_It was cold and cruel and what could Jade of done that was so bad that she deserved that invasion of privacy?_

_Nothing Tori she did nothing it's just Rex he has issues I don't know why he did it the boy has some serious anger issues. Being sick can do that it all depends on how you handle your emotions._

_He always seemed so cool and calm though_

_Great actor what can I say?_

_He should win an academy award than cause I believed his act hook like and sinker_

_We all did Tori_

_uh why can't life be easy Andre?_

_I wish I knew baby doll wish I knew_

_Did you feel that?_

I jumped damn did she feel me trying to snake my arm around her waist?

_Feel what man nah I didn't feel nothing_

No sooner did I say that did I feel something hit my shoulder and another something looking up I saw rain descending at a rapid pace.

_Lets go it's about to pour_

We darted up and raced to the nearest cabin dark cold and now soaked made it hard as heck to run but thankfully all my boy scouts training paid off.

_Ow Andre stop!_

Tori tripped falling into the mud scooping her up as the rain pounded down and the wind started howling.

Tori was heavier than I imagined but with in minutes I had her up and carried her the next five feet to the cabin.

Breathing heavy as I helped her inside she was able to hop on one foot as I sealed the door there was no way we were getting back to the mainland now. This storm was wicked.

Tori tried calling but the cell service was horrible now they would be freaking out that we would be missing aw man this was not cool.

_I think my ankle is broken_

_Not good man let me see_

Tori turned on the lights as we sat on the couch and I examined her ankle her skin was smooth b ut cold.

_Looks okay just twisted baby girl _

_Lets see what we have in the first aid kit_

Wrapping her ankle up in an ace bandage I slide next to her on the couch

_Do you think they will be worried?_

_I'm sure they will tori but there's nothing we can do till it's safe for us to leave these storms get wicked out here in the mountains._

_I guess it's a good thing Ali had fireplaces built in all these cabins than_

_Yea or we'd freeze for sure_

_I really love how each cabin has guitars and keyboards in them _

_So that means I'm getting a song right?_

_You want one?_

_Yes please~!_

_You got it little lady_

I picked one up and started strumming.

_Do you remember the last words you said?_

_Were they worth remembering?_

_Did you speak words of kindness and grace_

_Were they harsh to the tongue?_

_Were these words you were proud to say?_

_Why did you say the things you said if you were only going to live the rest of your life in regret?_

_I may be young but I know what is precious and what is right_

_The beauty in her eyes I treasure this look tonight and I never want to see that light dim in the years to come._

Keep cool Andre keep it cool kind of hard when my heart was beating so fast I thought I would vomit. My fingers were shaking as I tried to avoid her eyes those eyes man they get to you so big so brown so full of hope and laughter.

_I only want to see the light grow brighter and stronger wisdom and grace lessons learned._

_Because baby tonight here under the moonlight you look just right_

_We may be young but this summer has taught me what matter most _

_I can't I won't lie please just let me explain_

_I can't blame it on the rain or the stormy atmosphere_

_No oh no it's just my heart won't quit this pitter patter whenever you are around_

_Yea girl it's critical so won't you answer me this one question _

_If I can get up the nerve to utter the words_

It's not that hard Dre man you wrote them just sing them what's the worst that can happen? She thinks it's just a song and tells you it's awesome...or awful wait what if she hates this song? Don't look man don't look up what if she's trying not to laugh. That would crush me man I take my music very seriously.

_This feeling is getting stronger I don't want the summer days to end_

_I can't face the fact in twenty days we will say goodbye_

_Will we ever see each other again will we stay friends?_

_Time is the only one that has the answers_

Here it goes now or never sink or swim deep breath just lay it cool.

_So answer me Tori sweet Tori_

_Is there a chance this smooth dude and you can be more than just friends?_

_It's critical my heartbeat is on the line_

_Will I flat line or will I be elevated?_

In a flash my eyes looked up as my mouth came to the last cord lips against lips...hands pushing me down...

Guess I had my answer.


	40. Chapter 40

**Trina's p o v**

_Where are they?_

_They've been gone way to long!_

_Trina calm down_

_Calm down Freddie how can you be so calm their missing!_

_I know but panicking won't help find them or comfort the kids we have here_

_So what are we suppose to do?_

_We sit we wait Ali has the cops combing the whole area she's out with her crew no one will rest till their all home safe and sound._

_There's nothing we can do but wait and pray_

_Trina stop pacing you'll wear out the rug _

_Who cares about some old rug_

_I thought you said this rug was one of a kind imported from Europe_

_It is but who cares it's not important the kids are_

_Wow for someone who came in with the I don't care attitude suddenly your very concerned_

_I grew up okay deal with it_

_I guess miracles do happen_

_Shut up Freddie_

_Yeah very mature Trina_

_Trina_

Cat's voice was scared and nervous as she came inside I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her.

She had been crying on and off all night.

_It's my fault Jade ran away _

_No sweetie it's not _

_I was the reason Rex was pissed I'm the reason he read her journal out loud _

_No baby none of this is your fault_

_Rex did what he did because he has issues it doesn't matter if you kissed Robbie or not_

_He handled it the way he did and he was wrong but you can not take the blame for his actions only yours._

_From what you told me you didn't want Robbie kissing you if Rex can't see that or won't stop to listen that's his problem not yours._

_Why don't you take your mind off all this drama and focus on writing your script_

_Yea that's a good idea you think she'll be okay right?_

_Of course babe she's probably hauled up in a cabin somewhere chilling_

Cat hugged me tightly I wrapped my arms around her tiny body rubbing her back as I kissed her head.

She smiled as she went over to where Robbie and Beck were on their beds chilling out. I watched as she climbed on the bed next to Beck.

Truth was I wasn't so sure Jade was so vulnerable her immune system was weakened her physical strength was weak at best and any kind of cold or infection could land her back in the hospital if not the grave.

Her and Tori were both due for their night time medications if they missed it they could both be in serious trouble.

Tori was due for dialysis tomorrow if she missed her treatment she would get so sick.

_Did they check to make sure no one took out any boats?_

_Yes Trina they did_

_Calm down_

_Stop telling me to calm down_

_Than calm down and I will stop telling you_

I looked over and Freddie was on the couch on his laptop seriously these kids had been missing for hours and he was playing games!

_How can you play games when their out there cold frightened maybe sick or hurt_

_uh I can't believe it all you boys are the same you make promises and talk a big game but in the end your nothing but liars._

Suddenly I was tired so I sat down crossing my arms Freddie looked at me and turned his screen to me did he really think I cared to see what game he was playing?

Lines and words blurred across the screen I shock my head sighing.

_I'm not a tech geek what the heck does all this stuff mean?_

_It's a tracking device I had it installed in my boys phones when they first go there inc ase something like this would happen._

_Wait so you can find where they are?_

_I'm trying it's a little blurry because of the storm I keep losing connection_

My heart jumped if he found Andre he'd find Tori.

_Andre's smart right Freddie he'll keep Tori safe right_

_Yes Trina he's a very smart resourceful boy why so worried about Tori?_

I sighed.

_Truth would be nice Trina_

_I'm worried cause she's my sister_

_Wait your sister?_

_Yes my little annoying sister_

_Well that explains it it's okay to admit your scared Trina_

_Fine I'm scared happy now?_

I curled up next to him getting closer to the fireplace.

_So why did you keep it a secret?_

How was I suppose to answer that?

_Did you ever just want to escape reality and live your life on your own terms for once?_

_Yea I think we all do at time_

_Well imagine being the healthy sister your whole life and having a sister or brother who was sick all the attention is on them all the time, I was never allowed to have my own life be my own person everything evolved around Tori all the time._

_I get it I guess I was the opposite I always wished for a brother or sister someone to take away the focus from me._

_Wouldn't of worked trust me_

_Plenty of times I would do everything to get their attention danced on the tables sung at the top of my lungs came up with insane stories just so they would pay attention but Tori always had their eyes._

_I would get so mad I would yell at her shove her she would cry _

_Of course I would get in trouble_

Freddie covered me with a throw blanket pulling me close wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

_Is that why you started dating Jordan?_

_Jordan was great he showered me with attention and love he listened to me_

_Heck the only time my parents noticed me was when I started dating Jordan_

_Why was that?_

_Because they hated him_

_Why was he tatted up did he use drugs smoke? _

_Yea he has some tattoos no he didn't use drugs or smoke_

_So what was so wrong with him? Your parents hate tattoos that much?_

_No not exactly_

I sighed looking up at him why was his fingers moving to my face?

_What ever it is Trina you can tell me_

_I don't know it's pretty personal_

_Maybe it's what you need to heal _

His fingers brushed against my face wait was I crying?

I reached up to stop him but the feel of his left hand gently rubbing my back as I fell against his chest made me feel so relaxed. Instead of stopping him I found myself falling into him..

My body moving closer my head bending down eyes closing..lips...crashing against lips..

_Noooo!_

I shoved him away heart beating too fast jumping up in a panic this can't happen I can't do this to him he didn't deserve this.


	41. Chapter 41

**Freddie's p o v**

_Trina what's wrong?_

She stood up sweating shaking Immediately I stood up reaching for her as kids peaked their heads up staring at us.

_Ohhh Trina and Freddie in a tree k ..i s..s..i..n..g_

_Were not kissing we just slipped_

_And crashed into each others lips _

_ha ha _

The youngest kids started chanting and giggling like crazy Cat ran over to Trina tears in her eyes hugging Trina.

_Are you okay? _

_Yea Trina are you? What's wrong? _

_Nothing I just I got startled it hasn't been that long since I broke up with Jordan and I ..it feels like cheating_

_It's not Trina _

I tried reaching out to Trina but she pulled back shaking her head patting Cat's shoulders.

_I'm really scared Trina it's been too long Jadey needs her medications she needs warmth _

_I know Cat_

_Do you I mean do you really _

_You've never been sick you don't know what it's like to be scared and alone and wonder if your going to live to see tomorrow._

_Your healthy and beautiful and your __probably__ one of the most popular kids in school __you have no idea what it's like to like me or Tori or Jade you don't even care your only here to get good grades._

_Cat sweetie that's not true_

_Yes it is I can tell you never show any compassion to any of us _

_Cat why are you freaking out like this?_

_She's stressed Trina she's right it's something you can't explain_

Ali came running over with Milan I could see how embarrassed Trina was but right now I didn't care Cat was so worked up she needed my attention.

Milan embraced her and rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

_Freddie_

_Yes Ali_

_Have you seen Rex?_

_No not since the party _

_Well I want you and Liam &amp; Rian to go talk to him __find out what his issues are before we give up and call his parents._

_Your his mentor he really seems to look up to you_

_I know thanks sure I'll talk to him_

_Maybe beck can come along the boys all seem to admire him_

_Where is he?_

_With Lane_

_Great Hey Beck lets go!_

_Coming Freddie what's up man?_

Beck grinned as he came over I slung my arms over his shoulders Trina looked down as we passed what the heck was her problem?

_What's up Freddie?_

_Ali asked us to go talk to Rex_

_Okay what the heck was this stunt all about?_

_Poor Jade _

_I know I wish someone would find her so we can talk to her_

_I'm sure she'll be okay right now it's Rex that I am worried about he has a lot of pent up rage_

_Yea we all saw him release it on Jade _

_Pretty jacked up_

_Yes it was but something __has to have happened to him to make him so angry _

_Seems like the kid has a pretty decent life beside being sick I mean he's had it easier than most of us_

_Has he?_

_Yea dude's hardly been in the hospital he's star of every team he can sing and play a mean guitar_

_Doesn't mean he's happy or doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings_

_That's the whole point of being here is to help each other _

Reaching Lane's office I knocked Lane ushered us in I saw Rex sitting on the couch arms crossed face in a twisted angry glare.

_Rex_

He didn't say anything to me as I moved closer but he nodded at Beck who sat by him.

_Listen man what you did wasn't cool today but I know you man this _

_This isn't you so why did you do it?_

_I explained it she cheated on me so how to you get back at a girl?_

_Go after her best friend _

_Pretty cold and calculated Rex_

_Yea well that's who I am just ask Robbie _

_That's not who you are though I know you man we've had a lot of time to talk and get to know each other your a pretty decent guy._

_It's called acting Beck_

_Bull man I know that you really cared for Cat_

_I get it she hurt you and you want to lash out _

_There's other ways to lash out though Rex _

Lane nodded as he added

_Try working out jogging writing _

_Not going after another person_

_Rex what do you think your parents would of said?_

_They would be pissed and disappointed_

_Yea our parents they raised us better than that_

Rex growled as Robbie came inside Lane's office.

_Look you were after me Rex so come after me not the girls_

_I kissed Cat she didn't want any part in it but I did I like her and you knew that you went after her you got to her first just like you always do Rex._

_What's that suppose to mean?_

_Exactly what it said every since we were kids whatever I wanted you went after it and always got to it first you never considered how I felt._

_That's not true Robbie _

_Yea it is Rex _

_Maybe you didn't do it on purpose but life was always a competition to you _

_Little league when I batted the winning run in our first game you just had to get four home runs championship game._

_Or when I had a crush on Susie Ackerman in first grade you beat me to it and told her I ate dog poop_

_Ew seriously Rex?_

_Yea I know welcome to my life Beck_

_The point is Rex our whole lives you've only cared about yourself not me were suppose to be twins but we couldn't be further apart._

_So was it really a surprise that I got tired of it and fought back I like Cat I mean really like her she's funny cute pretty and talented and yeah beautiful but I see more to her than just her looks and it kills me she's going after you cause you will never care for her the way I do._

_Says who?_

Rex stood up arms crossed glaring at Robbie.

_History you have never treated a girl decent every girlfriend you've ever had Natalie you dumped because she couldn't afford the latest designer dress for our fifth grade dance._

_Do you know she cried for days over you did you know she was bullied by the other girls for two years so badly that she switched schools. _

_No _

_Of course not you tell yourself that you treat girls with respect cause that's what dad taught us but you don't sure you haven't slept with them and used them but you've treated them badly anyway._

_Like Megan in sixth grade and Abbie and Jen and Michelle you dated them for weeks and dumped them for their best friends._

_Megan got so mad at Abbie she bitch slapped her in front of the whole cafeteria and called her a slut on every social network._

_Jen and Michelle got into such a bad fight they stopped being friends do you know how bad Jen took it?_

_No _

_She cried for weeks she thought she wasn't pretty enough like Michelle so she started dieting now she's in treatment for Anorexia._

_I won't allow that to happen to Cat_

_I won't hurt Cat I didn't mean to hurt any of those girls_

_Well news flash Rex you did you hurt Cat when you went after Jade you even admitted it you got what you wanted again._

_I didn't want this _

_Than why did you do it?_

_Because I didn't want to hurt Robbie _

_Everything I did was to protect Robbie telling Susie you ate dog poop was because she didn't want to date you for you she was trying to get to me and I didn't want to see you get hurt your my brother I love you._

_I dumped Natalie Yes but it wasn't because she couldn't afford the dress it was because we had nothing in common all she cared about was fashion and beauty and I want more in a girl than someone who cares about looks and fashion._

_Cat I really liked her Robbie I didn't do it because you liked her I did it cause she's pretty smart and damn she can sing she has the same passions I do._

_I didn't even know how much you liked her but when you kissed her I was so betrayed but I can't hurt you Robbie your my twin my brother I owe you._

_Owe me for what?_

_For Robbing you of health for getting to live the life you've only been able to dream about._

_Stop Rex_

_Stop what?_

_Stop pitying me I am not some charity case that needs pity I am happy with my life being sick has taught me to value what I have to treasure time family and friends and it's taught me to not waste time on the bull shit and go after what matters._

_So I may not live forever but that's not what's important it's what we do with the time we have that matters._

_Some people die young without ever having really lived I don't want to regret anything._

_So stop feeling sorry for me I don't want to be some big shot football player or a basketball star I just want to be Robbie._

_Being me is pretty damn cool._

_Wow man I didn't know look I'm sorry man I messed up I really hurt Cat _

_Yea and not to mention Jade_

_Oh yea so how do I make it up to her?_

_Talk to her_

_She'll kill me_

_Talk to Cat apologize to her she'll come around and she'll help Jade see things clearer._

_Great _

_I'll come with you we both owe her an apologize_

Rex stood up and extended his hand to Robbie who pulled him into a hug.


	42. Chapter 42

**Tori's p o v**

Sunlight poured through the windows as I awoke in Andre's arms where the heck was I? Why did I feel so achy?

_Andre?_

_Hey beautiful_

I giggled as I stretched out Andre rubbed my arms and shoulders.

_It's sunny out yes that means we can head back to camp_

_Do you think they found Jade yet?_

_I don't know I hope so though_

_We need to rehearse _

_Yea we do lets head back how are you feeling?_

_Okay just tired and achy I need my treatment and medication _

_So do I lets grab some breakfast to_

_I am starving!_

Andre held my hand as we walked back to camp the air was damp and chilly but the sun was rising fast.

_Aw did you hear the robin_

_Yea she sounds sad and lonely_

_Or hopeful_

_She's hoping today is the day she finds the one she wants_

_Sad and hopeful it's an interesting melody_

_Were an interesting pair_

_Yes we are and I like it that way_

_Me to.._

Andre leaned over and kissed me softly I cuddled closer as we came out of the woods I heard someone shout.

_Tori and Andre oh my god your alive!_

Suddenly we were ambushed by all our friends. I started giggling and hugging I didn't know my arms could fit so many people.

_Tori thank god!_

The one person I didn't except to care was suddenly in tears hugging me.


	43. Chapter 43

**Cat's p o v**

_13 year old girl found dead in gutter_

_Tragic news came today that the body of a missing thirteen year old girl was found strangled naked in the gutter of an alley way in Los Angeles._

_Jade West who classmates describe as a loner seemed to have an obsession with the dark things in life including dressing in Gothic clothing, heavy metal bands and tattoos and piercings was reported missing from her camp ground on Friday evening at 10 pm from camp director/ Multi billion entrainer Aisling Hayes._

_The camp had been throwing a birthday celebration for Miss West who had just turned 13 when a distribute between Miss West and another camper broke out and Miss West took off._

_Police were called and lunched an Amber alert and started a massive search for the missing teen._

_Friends and family are left heartbroken by the news that was released only hours ago. _

_Jade's best friend Cat recalls Miss. West as being one of her best friends someone that never judged her only showed her love and respect._

_What makes this tail even more tragic is that Miss West has battled cancer for half her life and was currently battling and receiving treatment when she was killed._

_Memorial services will be held in Jade's home city New York city donations can be made to The Jade West Fund to help pay for funeral arrangements as well as to set up a fund for her younger brother Santana._

…_..._

_Jade No...Not my sweet precious Jade.. why why why? Why would god do this to me? Why would he make her suffer through all this pain and anger if he wasn't even going o give her a chance._

My body seemed to be in a locked place of convulsion tears were pouring down my face as I clutched the newspaper telling the news of my best friends death.

She promised forever she promised we would be back next year, she swore she'd beat cancer we would grow old together.

We were suppose to be bridesmaids at each others weddings.

She broke that promise and all the ones above it now there wasn't going to be any weddings or camp outs.

She wasn't going to be siting across from me at dinner we wouldn't be able to cuddle together and lay in bed dreaming of the future we had planned in our heads

There would be no future at least for her.

My chest hurt I couldn't breathe how could someone hurt her so bad? She was an innocent kid just a little girl. Sure she was temperamental and moody and sometimes mean but she was hurting and scared and she didn't have anyone to talk to.

How long had she known she was gay...why didn't she talk to me? She couldn't of think I would judge her I mean she grew up with Milan she knew how much I love and respect him he's gay he's my brother and I don't love him any less or any differently.

Why wouldn't she think I would feel the same to her? Because she had feelings for me?

I didn't know how I felt about that truthfully I mean I like Rex I feel giggly and sweaty when he looks at me touches me.

But I love when she hugs me I never want to let her go..

Does that make me Bi?

I like when she kisses my neck or check and the way she blushes and gets so shy when it's just the two of us.

But I can see myself getting married to Rex having kids with him...

Still I would never turn my back o her.

Why wouldn't she just talk to me?

I would take away her pain I would help her...

_Jade..Jade my sweet Jade no..._

_No...god why Jade …._

I just wish I had gotten the chance to say I love you just once more.

Never take life for-granted you just never know how fast it will slip from your finger tips and all you'll be left with is memories and regrets.

_Jade..._

_Jade...Jade...Cat..Jade.._

_Cat_

_Cat_


	44. Chapter 44

**Cat's p o v**

_13 year old girl found dead in gutter_

_Tragic news came today that the body of a missing thirteen year old girl was found strangled naked in the gutter of an alley way in Los Angeles._

_Jade West who classmates describe as a loner seemed to have an obsession with the dark things in life including dressing in Gothic clothing, heavy metal bands and tattoos and piercings was reported missing from her camp ground on Friday evening at 10 pm from camp director/ Multi billion entrainer Aisling Hayes._

_The camp had been throwing a birthday celebration for Miss West who had just turned 13 when a distribute between Miss West and another camper broke out and Miss West took off._

_Police were called and lunched an Amber alert and started a massive search for the missing teen._

_Friends and family are left heartbroken by the news that was released only hours ago. _

_Jade's best friend Cat recalls Miss. West as being one of her best friends someone that never judged her only showed her love and respect._

_What makes this tail even more tragic is that Miss West has battled cancer for half her life and was currently battling and receiving treatment when she was killed._

_Memorial services will be held in Jade's home city New York city donations can be made to The Jade West Fund to help pay for funeral arrangements as well as to set up a fund for her younger brother Santana._

…_..._

_Jade No...Not my sweet precious Jade.. why why why? Why would god do this to me? Why would he make her suffer through all this pain and anger if he wasn't even going o give her a chance._

My body seemed to be in a locked place of convulsion tears were pouring down my face as I clutched the newspaper telling the news of my best friends death.

She promised forever she promised we would be back next year, she swore she'd beat cancer we would grow old together.

We were suppose to be bridesmaids at each others weddings.

She broke that promise and all the ones above it now there wasn't going to be any weddings or camp outs.

She wasn't going to be siting across from me at dinner we wouldn't be able to cuddle together and lay in bed dreaming of the future we had planned in our heads

There would be no future at least for her.

My chest hurt I couldn't breathe how could someone hurt her so bad? She was an innocent kid just a little girl. Sure she was temperamental and moody and sometimes mean but she was hurting and scared and she didn't have anyone to talk to.

How long had she known she was gay...why didn't she talk to me? She couldn't of think I would judge her I mean she grew up with Milan she knew how much I love and respect him he's gay he's my brother and I don't love him any less or any differently.

Why wouldn't she think I would feel the same to her? Because she had feelings for me?

I didn't know how I felt about that truthfully I mean I like Rex I feel giggly and sweaty when he looks at me touches me.

But I love when she hugs me I never want to let her go..

Does that make me Bi?

I like when she kisses my neck or check and the way she blushes and gets so shy when it's just the two of us.

But I can see myself getting married to Rex having kids with him...

Still I would never turn my back o her.

Why wouldn't she just talk to me?

I would take away her pain I would help her...

_Jade..Jade my sweet Jade no..._

_No...god why Jade …._

I just wish I had gotten the chance to say I love you just once more.

Never take life for-granted you just never know how fast it will slip from your finger tips and all you'll be left with is memories and regrets.

_Jade..._

_Jade...Jade...Cat..Jade.._

_Cat_

_Cat_


	45. Chapter 45

**Tori's p o v**

_So we know that we want to have the opening scene with Cat on stage and as she's falling we want her memories to be flashing walking through the halls being bullied._

_How do all of us fit into this?_

_Good question Vega_

Mr. Sikowitz nodded at me.

_As Cat's memories are flowing I think she should be seeing all the kids who have been bullied should appear in her memories, each kid should have their own moment from being bullied to feeling alone to finding what ever it is that makes them happy._

_Why don't each of you say what makes you happy what hurts you the most_

_Andre your up first young man_

_Music man it brings me such a sweet release playing my key broad what hurts the most is when people underestimate how serious my illness is._

_People hear Cooley anemia and think it's no big deal but they have no idea what I have to go through how it sucks trying to balance two worlds my dad is a huge football fan so ever since I was small he had me and my brothers in football and basketball but the problem was that every time I got on a team I would have to leave every few weeks to go back into the hospital for transfusions and treatments._

_They have no idea what it was like to watch your older brother who was only 12 slowly die from the same illness you have._

_It makes you grow up really fast_

_Yes I can only imagine it would Andre but I bet it also made you stronger_

_Yea it did Mr. Sikowitz_

Andre's story melted my heart as I slid my hand into his I hated the thought of Andre going through such pain he is such an amazing kid.

_Being a great artist means taking your pain and fears and using it as your greatest strength_

_Andre your brother's death set you apart from kids your age most kids never experience the death of a loved one till their much older, not having someone by your side your age who you can talk to but this camp has given you back a piece of childhood that was stolen._

_We've all talked and shared our stories so now we need to take those stories and mold it into one amazing story._

_Wait Mr. Sikowitz _

_Yes Shapiro_

_Not all of us have talked _

_Well who is holding back?_

I felt myself blush as he looked around as I tried to hide but Andre shock his head.

_No one is forcing you Tori but maybe talking would help you have a lot of anger inside and it's not good._

_Andre is right Tori sharing is caring _

_We all care about you and we want you to enjoy your childhood your only young once_

_Why won't you open up? _

_Because she's afraid_

_I am not Rex _

_Bull_

_Your afraid that if people see what makes you afraid you'll be weak and your listening to Jade tell you that weakness is something to be ashamed of._

_It's not Tori weakness makes us unique we all have different fears and dreams these fears these dreams they make us ..us.._

_So maybe your not ready to tell us what your afraid of and that's okay_

_No it's not cause if I don't know what makes her afraid how can I ever use it to my advantage and make her cower in fear._

_JADE!_

We all jumped up and ran to her Cat started crying almost tripping as she ran to Jade who came inside with Ali.

Everyone started firing away questions at once her eyes darted back and forth as she embraced Cat seeming surprised.

_Where were you?_

_Are you okay?_

_Your not sick babe?_

_Do you know how worried we all were?_

_Alright kids lets give Miss. West some room to breathe_

_Thanks Mr. Sikowitz _

_Your welcome Jade_

She must of cleaned up since she came back cause she was wearing a different outfit a black tapered skirt that went to above her knees and flared out and a black and red halter top which came just past her midriff.

Her long black hair was parted to her left.

Mr. Sikowitz motioned for her to sit down giving her some juice and cookies.

_After Rex's ever special birthday dedication_

Rex hung his head in shame as he sat down by her Jade looked down holding back tears.

Swallowing she looked past him and kept talking.

_I wanted to get as far away as I could so I took a horse and started riding through the mountains I didn't stop the wind felt amazing I didn't know how far I had gone until I stopped to pee and the storm broke my horse freaked out and ran._

_I was left by myself so I started to try to hike back but it was dark stormy and I lost my footing and fell about a 100 feet I just kept sliding trying to grip my way._

_When I finally landed I was shaking and scared but safe but stuck I couldn't move until the storm passed._

_Being alone it was horrible but it gave me time to think and shake off my anger I thought about why Rex would do what he did instead of how I felt._

_I get it you were pissed at your brother and you lashed out at the one person who you knew would make Cat feel like dirt._

_You were so buried in your own pain that you didn't stop to think of anyone else sounds like something I do a lot of I use my own pain and fear and I bully others it sucks to be the one called out in front of all your peers and have your heart shredded._

_I'm sorry Cat and Robbie hurt you Rex but you have to learn that life will tear you down but it's about how you rise above the hate pain and fear that truly tests who you will become._

_I get it now Jade and I am sorry for hurting you_

_I will do anything to make it up to you_

_I doubt very much you ever will but as long as you stay away from Cat will call it a truce._

_Um about that Jade_

_Yes Cat?_

_I know you like me and I like you too _

_But only as a friend yea I know Cat and I hate it but I love you more and I want you happy_

_Thank you Jade but don't get mad_

_Your with him aren't you?_

Jade swallowed as Cat nodded.

_Well back to the conversation I walked in on so what are your fears Vega_

_Jade I.._

_We don't have to talk about it Cat _

_We should_

_No we shouldn't_

_Vega tell me your fears_

_No _

_Oh don't be afraid my pretty I mean it's only fair I told you what was in my heart_

_Well I'm still shocked you have a heart_

_Shut up Rex_

_Man up your 13 and your acting like a kid we all have fears and we all shared_

_You want to grow up and be treated like an adult Tori _

_Don't you get it Jade_

_I'm not going to get to grow up!_


	46. Chapter 46

**Tori's p o v**

Andre grabbed me and shock me bringing me up to my feet.

_Your not going to die Tori stop thinking that way you have hope_

_Andre were all going to die some of us just die sooner than others_

_She's right you know_

_Jade your not helping_

_Good I still got it_

_I see your little fall from the mountains didn't knock any sense into you_

_I see your still a jerk Rex_

_Tori_

_Stay out of this Trina_

_No I can't_

_Why you had no problem staying out of my life up till now_

_Not true_

_Yes it is _

_No Tori I always cared _

_Really you cared so much last year _

_No your right Tori I messed up bad_

_Messed up Trina why don't you man up and tell everyone how bad you " messed up"_

Everyone looked at Trina Freddie's eyes scanned her as she looked down but he went over and took her hand.

Jade was looking at both of us trying to figure out what was going on.

_I was suppose to be her donor and I _

_Trina we all get scared giving her a kidney is serious business so what you backed out_

_No Freddie it's more complicated than that_

_Trina I'm sure if you just go to the doctor and explain _

_Explain what Freddie I can't tell them anymore than they already told me_

_I rebelled I got involved with an older boy Jordan and we.._

_Had sex say it Trina you had sex_

Trina's whole face was beat red as tears were streaking down her face.

_Yes Tori we had sex and I got diagnosed with HIV which means I can never be your donor_

_Which means I have to wait on a list a list that has 101,170 people on it a list that goes by how sick you are 12 people die each day waiting Trina every 14 minutes someone is added to that list._

_4,453 died last year_

_So that doesn't mean you will be one of them_

_It doesn't mean I won't_

_I could have been one of the ones to make it Trina you had the gift of life and you threw it away you threw me away._


	47. Chapter 47

**Tori's p o v**

Andre grabbed me and shock me bringing me up to my feet.

_Your not going to die Tori stop thinking that way you have hope_

_Andre were all going to die some of us just die sooner than others_

_She's right you know_

_Jade your not helping_

_Good I still got it_

_I see your little fall from the mountains didn't knock any sense into you_

_I see your still a jerk Rex_

_Tori_

_Stay out of this Trina_

_No I can't_

_Why you had no problem staying out of my life up till now_

_Not true_

_Yes it is _

_No Tori I always cared _

_Really you cared so much last year _

_No your right Tori I messed up bad_

_Messed up Trina why don't you man up and tell everyone how bad you " messed up"_

Everyone looked at Trina Freddie's eyes scanned her as she looked down but he went over and took her hand.

Jade was looking at both of us trying to figure out what was going on.

_I was suppose to be her donor and I _

_Trina we all get scared giving her a kidney is serious business so what you backed out_

_No Freddie it's more complicated than that_

_Trina I'm sure if you just go to the doctor and explain _

_Explain what Freddie I can't tell them anymore than they already told me_

_I rebelled I got involved with an older boy Jordan and we.._

_Had sex say it Trina you had sex_

Trina's whole face was beat red as tears were streaking down her face.

_Yes Tori we had sex and I got diagnosed with HIV which means I can never be your donor_

_Which means I have to wait on a list a list that has 101,170 people on it a list that goes by how sick you are 12 people die each day waiting Trina every 14 minutes someone is added to that list._

_4,453 died last year_

_So that doesn't mean you will be one of them_

_It doesn't mean I won't_

_I could have been one of the ones to make it Trina you had the gift of life and you threw it away you threw me away._

_I didn't throw you away _

_I just I.. I got lost and I can never make it up to you Tori I am so sorry _

_No your right Trina you can never make it up to me _

_No one can make up for the past but what we can learn that today is a present and we can take what we learned from the past and use it as a future gift._

_Sounds great but someone as selfish as Trina can never learn what it means to be a self-less person_

_That's harsh Tori man_

_But true Andre_

_No it's not_

We were all stunned to see Freddie stand up and get in Tori's face.

_Jade's right you need to grow up and part of growing up is learning to forgive and deal with feelings like an adult._

_Trina is more than what you see through your rose colored glasses._

_I have gotten to know Trina over the past few weeks yes she has some self centered issues but she is a loving smart girl would someone who was all about themselves spend two days searching for Jade would she spend two hours everyday helping kids learn acting techniques?_

_Would she have stayed up with Cat after she had nightmares about her best friend being murdered? Would she make her hot tea and hold her while she cried?_

_Would she give up her meal so a kid could have extra?_

_Would some one who care about themselves and only them be willing to change?_

_No they wouldn't but Trina did she is learning and she is growing are you?_

_Don't cry now wittle girl_

_Shut up Jade_

_Stop pouting Tori and learn_


	48. Chapter 48

**Cat's p o v**

_I can't believe I am actually starting to swim_

_Thanks to you Cat _

_I didn't do much just held your hand and encouraged you Rex your the one doing all the work_

_Sometimes Cat the most important part of the lesson is showing up and you did that for me after everything I did to me that's pretty damn impressive._

Rex dried off as he helped me out of the pool. Pulling me close I squealed as I lost my balance and fell right on him laughing.

His hands slide over my back as I kissed him slowly and fully unsure what we were really doing.

I felt his hands slide over my suit I felt my whole body tense but he ran his hands over my body relaxing me as our suits came off.

_Rex I don't understand_

_Shh relax Cat everything will be okay I promise you I will take care of you and protect you_

Rex rolled me over so he was on top closing my eyes letting my head back I let him lead me my nails dug into him as pain pierced through me.

_I can't believe we only have three days left _

_I know Tori it seems like the months flew by_

_Cat are you okay?_

_Yea just tired_

_You sick?_

I smiled weakly at Jade who rolled her eyes at her own lame joke.

_I can't believe how amazing our video turned out I just hope it wins_

_Win or lose Jade we all had fun and we learned a lot this summer_

_Yea Yea Shapiro_

Truth was I could barely breathe even attempting to laugh as Robbie tried to insult Jade took too much effort and I felt warm.

_Anybody see Rex?_

Robbie asked I could only wonder where he was. We were about to find out who won the contest and I know how excited he was.

_Cat wake up_

I shot up shaking my head my chest felt so tight everyone was staring at me.

Questions were flowing through everyone's minds but the slamming off the door being flung open stopped everyone as Derrick came flying in.

_Robbie come quick it's Rex_

_Rex huh?_

_Rex he's hurt he drowned their rushing him to the hospital_

Everyone jumped up everyone except me the minute I tried the world span and I felt everything go black.


	49. Chapter 49

**Jade p o v**

"_Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there._

_It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime." _

_These are the words left behind by my best friend Cat Valentine in dedication to her friend her boyfriend and so much more Rex Shapiro._

_What can a child leave behind?_

_Not much I mean it's different a child dying grownups leave behind a legacy memories accomplishments kids well what do we really own?_

_Were too young to have world possessions like houses cars kids money stocks we have dreams and passions and hopes._

_When we die we take all of that with us but what we leave behind is our friends and family Rex loved Cat with his whole heart it was his love that caused him to go back to the pool where Cat lost her necklace the one I gave her on her 10th birthday which had a picture of us in it._

_Rex couldn't swim but he thought he had enough from his lessons to get to the locket and back but he went under and he couldn't get back in time his lungs filled with water and were too weak to support him._

_Cat can't be here because she's in the hospital recovering from her heart transplant but Rex has her heart old and new she really wanted to pay her respect to him._

_On behalf of her and all of us we offer this song._

_What will they say when I'm gone  
In words that are written in stone?  
Under my name, what will they claim about me?_

_Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered  
More than just a memory that fades away  
Because we only, we only get one life_

_Free me, my hands are tied, I'm so tired of wasting time  
These endless inventions steal my attention from real life  
And when it's done, when it's over_

_Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered  
More than just a memory that fades away  
Because we only, we only get one life_

_And will the world see greatness  
When they look at my life?  
Oh, will the world see?_

_Oh, come on, give me, give me, give me real life  
And no more, no more, no more wasting time  
Because we only, we only get just one life_

_Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered  
More than just a memory that fades away  
Because we only, we only  
Because we only, we only get one life_

_There's the answer, there's the answer  
'Cause we only, yeah, we only_

_Rex your legacy will live on through our memories and through your heart that now beats inside of Cat's chest._

_Thank you for giving us the ultimate gift of life_

**Artist: Sanctus Real**

**Album: We Need Each Other**


End file.
